


Cats Cradle {yandere Kuroo & Kenma x reader}

by HaikyuuHoeee



Category: Haikyuu!!, anime - Fandom, haikyuu
Genre: Abuse, Age Regression, Bi, Drugs, Gaslighting, Haikyuu - Freeform, Horror, Kenma, Kuroo - Freeform, Manipulation, Multi, Murder, Nekoma, Poly, Stalking, Teenagers, Threesome, Trauma, Violence, Yandere, abandoned, illegal, illicit pictures, suicidal, yaku - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:28:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 56
Words: 58,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25542112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaikyuuHoeee/pseuds/HaikyuuHoeee
Summary: Kenma has a crush.So like any good friend, Kuroo harasses her for his enjoyment.
Relationships: Kuroo/reader/kenma
Comments: 13
Kudos: 206





	1. Chapter 1

"Do you have a pen I can borrow?" You asked the quiet boy next to you- painfully aware of how much you're probably annoying him.

His eyes, somehow large but catlike, assessed you before he reached into his pocket, pulling one out and handing it to you.

"Thank you”

The rest of the lesson was quiet. You scratched down the answers and so did he. You could feel him glance at you every so often- probably very protective of his pens.

You made sure to give him the pen back, thanking him one last time before leaving for lunch.

Kenma smiled at the pen, slowly bringing it to his lips when you had left.

————————

"Hey! Did we have homework over the weekend?"

"No"

You always wanted to speak to the boy more, but he was so damn unwilling to hold a conversation. At first you thought it was anxiety but maybe he just doesn't like socialising.

————————

You leaned in a little- not too much because you didn't want to make Kenma uncomfortable. It was obvious he wasn't one for affection.

You both flipped through the booklet in front of you with the teacher- going through questions and answers.

Each time you licked your thumb and turned the page Kenma tore the corner off- placing the damp paper onto his own tongue.

————————

"So you finally acknowledge that females exist?" Kuroo grinned.

Kenma barely glances up from his game.

"What do you mean?"

"That girl."

"What girl?"

The dark haired male pulls the game away from Kenma who had rolled himself up beneath his blanket.

"You know exactly what girl I'm talking about. The one from your class! You're always staring at her- so it's either a crush or a rivalry"

Kenma grimaced at his friends perceptiveness. How does he handle a crush- especially when being confronted with it like this?

"She's... nice"

"Awww Kenma! You're in love"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No-"

"Then how come I saw you taking a picture of her the other day"

"Because I wanted a picture of her"

"Young love~"

"Shut up"

"I have a picture of her if you want me to send it to you?"

"Why do you have a picture of her you creep?" Kenma snarled.

"Well I noticed your interest in her, so I just tried to understand her a little more y'know"

"Let me see"

He grinned and pulled out his phone, opening up the photo he had took.

"Pretty, right?"

Kenma didn't say anything but wore a particularly fond face when looking at the image.

"I don't think I'm going about it in the right way though" his smile dropped.

"Do you need conversation starters?"

"No. She talks to me I just don't talk back-"

"Oh, just try and find common interests I guess"

"No. That's not what I mean-" He unrolls himself from the blanket burrito and picks up his school bag.

"Her chapstick, hair tie, pen and eraser" he picked the objects out one by one to show Kuroo, "it's weird, isn't it? I'm not good at this stuff"

"I don't think it's weird, just alternative" Kuroo reassured his friend, "you're not doing anything wrong. You're not making her uncomfortable or anything which is more than what some guys would do"

Kenma didn't seem convinced.

"Listen, it's harmless. Don't worry about it"

"...ok. Don't tell anyone though" the younger demanded.

"I won't"

——————————

Kenma opened the door to a smiling Kuroo.

"Let me in! I've got somethin' for you"

In the safety of Kenmas room, Kuroo pulled out a hairbrush and some chapstick.

"Got then from her bag today" he explained.

"....Thankyou"

"Can I see all the stuff you have so far?"

Kenma was hesitant to show off his collection.

"C'mon, I give all the good stuff to you! All I have is a button, a pen, mints and a damn candy wrapper"

"You've been collecting stuff too?" Kenma asked.

"Yeah...it's nice to have someone else's belongings...but my stuff isn't as good as yours so lemme see"

The small boy bashfully opened up the drawer, in it was his small collection.

"Hair pin, rubber band, a badge...oh perfume! That's new!" Kuroo reaches in, picking up the perfume and bringing it to his nose.

"It's really nice- I got a scarf from her and it smells just like the perfume"

"Really? Where?"

"It's on my bed" he pointed to the cushion covered by the scarf.

"I need to step up my game... _damn_ "

Kenma smiled.

"You're not gonna beat me- I'm sat next to her most days and I've been doing this much longer than you"

"Don't be so sure of yourself Kenma, trust me! This time next week I'll have something amazing to show you"

Kenma hoped he would.


	2. Key {2}

"Kozume, can I quickly copy that answer from you?"

Like always, he didn't reply, just obliged with your request and showed you his book.

"Thanks"

You smiled, staring intently at his answer and copying it down into your own book.

Kenmas eyes traveled down to where your bag laid on the floor- wide open and full of stuff.

What should he take?

_Candy, books, pencil case, paper clips.._

He was annoyed- he already had all of this stuff! Why didn't you bring more of your belongings to school?

———————————

"What?" Kuroo didn't even say anything but Kenma could tell he had something on his mind. Since they sat down on the train he'd done nothing but smile to himself.

"I told you last week that I would have something to impress you, right?"

"I feel like it was two weeks ago but go on"

"Well" he grinned further, reaching into his pocket and plucking out something silver, "we've got a key"

The second years eyes grew as he stared at it.

"Is it...it's hers?"

"Of course it is. When I came to your class during lunch she was emptying out her bag to look for something- they were on the desk so I took them before she could notice"

"Can I hold it?"

Kenma gently took the silver key from Kuroos hand, staring at it like it was some gem.

"Should we get copies of it?"

"Yes. We can stop off at that phone store, I think they do key copies" Kenmas eyes stayed glued to the object.

"Y'know, with this we can get more of her stuff" Kuroo suggested.

"What do you mean?"

"Well like you were complaining about a few days ago- she only brings certain object to school. The real fun stuff will be in her house-"

"We can't go into her house Kuroo"

"Why not?"

"We'll get arrested"

"Not if we wait until she's gone. Do you not listen to her Kenma? She's not going to be at home this weekend"

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely! She was talking about it today before classes started- her parents are going to some sort of show or play so she was sleeping at her friends place. She's gone so all we have to do is wait for her parents to leave"

"I'm..not sure"

"Kenma-" Kuroo plucked the key from his friends fingers, shoving it back into his pocket, "think of the best thing that she owns, ok? Then imagine owning it! We can get anything! Literally anything! Bras, clothes, underwear, photos, jewellery, posters- Jesus Christ fuckin' stuffed animals if we wanted to!"

"I know but...it'd be so easy to get caught"

"We'll follow her tomorrow, once we know where she lives we can get a plan"

"Ok"

————————————

They sat in Kuroos room, looking over the small collection.

"What's that?"

"A lollipop she threw away" Kuroo smiled fondly at it.

"I'm gonna write a list of stuff I want" Kenma stated, scuttling around to find some paper and a pen.

"Warming up to my idea?"

"A little" he admitted.

"God I'm so exited- can't wait to get more stuff"

"This isn't going too far is it?" Kenma asked, finishing off his list of requests.

"Nah. Like I said- it's a hobby. Harmless"

"You want to break into her house"

"Not true- we have a key so there will be no 'breaking in' involved"

"You know what I mean"

"Stop! It's excting- look your wearing her scarf! And you already wrote a damn list- I know you want this stuff" he draped your scarf around Kenmas head dramatically.

"Stop being annoying"

"Ugh Kenma, it's fine. Would you prefer to throw all of her stuff away? Would you like it if you had to ignore her?"

"No"

"Then stop doubting this, it's fine"

_It wasn't fine._

_They both knew it wasn't fine._

_There were worse things they could do though..._

_Besides- things happened like this all the time in old movies and shit- and they never took_ _it seriously._

_It's not a serious thing, right?_

_They're just collecting stuff_


	3. Come in {3}

"Stay here and tell me if anyone comes. You know her parents car- if you see it text me straight away so I have enough time to leave" Kuroo instructed.

The plan was simple- Kenma waited down the street and watched out for your parents while Kuroo slipped into the house and filled his bag full of your things.

_Easy_.

Kenma took perch on a bench as Kuroo jogged away.

Getting into the house was easy- in fact the whole process was easy, but Kuroo was so damn anxious.

Yeah, he can convince himself this is an 'innocent hobby' all he wants- but if he gets caught in here he's fucked- and he was well aware of that.

But he trusted Kenma to keep him safe. He trusted Kenma with his life.

_Okay..._

_her room- here it is!_

He made quick work of running up the stairs- barging into your room and breathing in the scent.

_Ok, the list..._

_Underwear, clothes, stuffed animals..._

He made quick work of collecting the items too.

Kuroo sat down on your bed, breathing in and just laying there in peace.

_Kenma would love this..._

The tall boy grinned, standing up and opening various drawers and your closet. He started to pick up things that weren't even on the list-

_She won't even notice if this is missing..._

So, after he packed his bag full and finished rummaging through your things- he ran back to Kenma.

"You need to go inside"

"Kuroo I'm not, I'll get caught-"

"Put your hood up and just go! I'll stay here and text you if I see anything. C'mon, it's dark- nobody is gonna notice! Just don't make too much mess"

"Kuroo-"

"You won't regret it- just go, if you still scared you can just come straight back out"

Kenma reluctantly began to walk to your home, leaving Kuroo at the bench he had been sat at.

_Keep calm_

_Like Kuroo said, it's dark_

_Just keep my head down..._

_He'll text me the moment anyone comes- I'll be able to get out in time._

His small shaky hand gripped the door handle as he pushed it open. Trembling legs took him inside as he closed the door behind him.

_Upstairs- quickly._

His hood fell down as he climbed the stairs, looking for your room. Fortunately he already had some clue of where it would be- so he waltzed in.

_Oh my god_

_It's her room_

_She was here..._

Kenma bit his lip, reaching for his phone to take photos.

_I can't believe I'm here..._

_I'm actually here!_

A bashful smile grew on his face as he wandered around, touching and taking in his surroundings.

His hands picked at the corner of your blanket, pulling it back so the boy could slip into your bed.

_It's so comfortable_

_So warm..._

_I wish I could sleep here._

But he knew he couldn't- and he knew that he shouldn't spend too much time in the house.

As he reluctantly slipped away, missing the presence of your room already, he called up Kuroo.

"Anyone coming yet?"

"Nah, I haven't seen anyone, you outside?"

"Yeah...I'm walking to you now. You got everything, right?"

"Everything and more because I'm fucking amazing"

"...."

"Ok, ouch. Anyway, are we going back to my house or yours? We need to sort through this stuff"

"Your house" Kenma requested, "your parents work through the night. My parents would definitely want to know what we were doing"

"Good point"

"I'll text my parents to let them know I'm at your place"

———————————

"I want this underwear...did you find any stuffed animals?" Kenma pried.

"Yes I did, here you go. I'll take this underwear and....I think I want her earrings"

Kenma was too busy staring at the cuddly toy to listen. With a blush on his cheeks he squished it to his chest, smiling a little.

"Kenma!"

"Huh?"

"I asked if you wanted the hairband"

"Oh...you can have it" he stated, still holding on tightly to the stuffy.

"Ok...put it in that bag and let's get some sleep"

Kenma and Kuroo stuffed their respective collections into their bags- save for Kenmas bear which he held close to him while he played games into the night.


	4. Fun {4}

Kuroos fingers played with the fabric of the underwear and bra.

_I wonder how many times she's worn these_...

He'd almost been caught with your belongings too many times- in fact his father had found some underwear and gave him a knowing smile- Kuroos red face just nodded back.

"Uh, just and make sure whoever you bring home is fully dressed before she leaves" he awkwardly told his son.

_Thank fuck_

_At least he thinks I'm just hooking up with someone..._

_If he knew the truth..._

Although Kuroo wished that he had brought you back to his home- just having your belongings was satisfying for him.

Besides, if his dad thinks he's hooking up with people he won't suspect the truth- that his son was stalking someone. His son and his sons best friend were preying on a girl who had no idea what was happening.

It's shameful but he's not ashamed. Besides, it wasn't even that bad; teenage boys do stuff like this all of the time- atleast that's what Kuroo told himself.

_If it wasn't me and Kenma it would be some perverted freak trying to take advantage of her..._

_Atleast we care for her._

He stretched out the fabric, placing a small part of it into his tongue as he relaxed.

Everything that he had taken he almost lost the scent of you because he had just been using it that much- touching it, licking it, playing with it....using it for less than innocent activities...

_I'll have to ask Kenma for some of her perfume....._

Meanwhile Kenma was having a similar dilemma;

_God this is so fucked up..._

Kenma threw your underwear onto his bed, finished with the fun he was having. When he pulled his pants up he stood up, opening his drawer of your belongings and placing the underwear inside before taking out some of the perfume and spraying it onto his pillow.

He picked up some lip balm cautiously, sticking the tip of it onto his tongue before swiping it across his lips.

Kenma loved these little 'indirect kisses', whether it was from your lip balm or just a corner of paper you had put into your mouth when your hands were too busy to hold it, he loved it either way.

It sent a jolt of electricity through his body to know that your lips and his lips have touched the same thing...your saliva has been in his mouth...holy shit...

Truthfully- Kenma wasn't crazy about bodily fluids, but he couldn't stop himself. It got so bad that he was anxious you would notice him licking at the small pieces of paper he would rip away from your work sheet- you hadn't noticed yet though.

After calming down from his little buzz, he texted Kuroo:

To:Kuroo

From: Kenma

This is messed up

He got a message back almost instantly.

To:Kenma

From: Kuroo

I know but I don't want to stop

Kenma didn't want to stop either.

To:Kenma

From:Kuroo

She's babysitting for someone tonight.

To:Kuroo

From:Kenma

What? How do you know?

To:Kenma

From:Kuroo

I heard her at school. Idk who she's babysitting for but she's getting paid.

To:Kuroo

From:Kenma

So is anyone at her house tonight?

To:Kenma

From:Kuroo

Her parents. That's not the point-

To:Kuroo

From:Kenma

Then...what is the point?

To:Kenma

From:Kuroo

From the sound of it she didn't know the person who's kid she is babysitting. If we manage to get her phone number then I have a niece :P

To:Kuroo

From:Kenma

So...we pay her to look after your niece and then leave? What's the use in that?

To:Kenma

From:Kuroo

No! We stay! Idk we can just say that we didn't want to watch her 100% of the time so we got a babysitter because we were busy in the house

To:Kuroo

From: Kenma

I guess....can you come to my house?

To:Kenma

From:Kuroo

Sure, I'll be there in a sec

——————————

"I know you love sponge-bob but please go to sleep!" You begged the child.

"But I wanna see Patrick!"

"You'll see him in your dreams- now come on!" You picked up the kid, marching them to bed before reading a quick story and turning off the light.

_Jesus Christ this babysitting shit is stressful..._

_Just think of the money, (y/n), just think of the money._


	5. Inappropriate {5}

They'd visited your house a few more times- just to keep up their ritual.

Eventually they both expressed their need for a little more, as masturbating with your underwear could only really do so much for them.

Don't get it wrong though- they both still did it and thoroughly enjoyed it- they just wanted a little more.

Since Kenma and Kuroo had been friends since childhood- they knew each other pretty well and recently, their little hobby had brought them closer in more ways than one.

Kenma opened up about his fondness for voyeurism and exhibitionism and Kuroo was more than open about his taste for the kinks too.

So this revelation meant one thing really, didn't it? One of them was going to have to grope you and the other could watch.

It wasn't hard at all- Kuroo went first, being more bold. He started with a simple ass grab in the crowded corridor as Kenma stood back, awkwardly videoing the encounter.

Kenma went next, feigning innocence as he was pushed up against you in a crowd when his hand just so happened to brush against your chest. Kuroo watched gleefully, phone in hand.

They'd built up quite a collection of these encounters so far. Recently they'd been testing the waters as Kuroo tripped you up in school.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry, are you ok?" He'd ask, hurrying to help you up from the floor.

"Yeah, thanks, it's no problem"

It would be a problem if you knew what he was actually doing. It would be a problem if you noticed the smaller boy behind you, camera angled lower than it should be to catch a glimpse of what was under the school skirt.

Recently they'd been planning the most risky plan they'd thought up- surprisingly it was Kenma who had proposed the idea.

It seemed easy, but they needed you in the right place at the right time. They needed you to do exactly what they wanted...

Kuroo managed to make you comply amazingly- leaving a note on your desk from a 'teacher' ordering you to go to the gym after school.

What a shock you got when you opened the door and were greeted with the sight of a blushing Kenma splayed out underneath a shirtless Kuroo.

"Oh-I shit! Sorry!" You ran away, completely red.

_Holy shit holy crap_

They both smiled. The boys both wished that you would have stayed to watch them make out- in an ideal world you would have joined in, but they knew that that was unlikely. For now they were both high on the feeling of knowing that you had seen them like that.

Either way they were happy with the outcome.

Every time you sat next to Kenma in class you were red faced and stuttering.

He got off on it- every time he asked you for a pen or even made eye contact you just panicked. Sometimes he could even see your heartbeat through your chest slightly- it was obvious that what you had seen had some effect on you.

"(Y/n), do you have the answer for this one?"

"Oh-I uh, yeah, it's there!" You'd screech.

God, you could barely form a sentence without freaking out now that you had walked in on the boys so intimately.

Kuroo noticed too- he wasn't in your class but every time he passed you in the hall he could see your face drop.

After walking in on him shirtless and making out with the smaller boy- it was obvious you'd feel a little awkward- but was awkward the right word?

Kuroo was sure- certain infact- that you'd enjoyed what you had seen. Yeah, you panicked and ran away, but you didn't look disgusted or grossed out...you looked intrigued...

Kuroo was certain.

———————————

"She can barely speak to me anymore"

"It's worth it though- isn't it?" Kuroo smiled.

"How? I liked it when she spoke to me" Kenma whined.

"God, how flustered she gets when she sees us is amazing... we should do it again and try to get her to join-"

"We can't have a threesome at school idiot. Don't get carried away"

"Why not?"

"I'm going to smack you. It's amazing that she didn't tell everyone about what she saw, we shouldn't push our luck"

"Oh come on- she was definitely into it" the taller boy grinned cockily.

"Oh, so you can read her mind now?"

"It was your idea! You wanted her to see us making out- besides, if she wasn't into it she probably would have forgotten about it- she acts all weird around us. There's no way she hasn't noticed the photos either, right?"

"She hasn't noticed. She's oblivious- I stuck my phone beneath the desk to film and she didn't even notice"

"Oh come on- let's just go for it. We've got plenty to offer her"

"No. She's gonna reject us- do you know how weird she's gonna find it? Two of us wanting to be with her...I don't want her to reject us. I'm not letting her reject us. Just let me carry on how I am"

"Kenma, don't you wish you could actually be with her though?"

"Of course, but I'm not risking the chance of her saying no. Even if she says yes, the moment she find out what we've been doing she'll leave...I can't let her leave me"

"Well, I have a solution"

"What?"

"We just don't let her leave"


	6. Scary {6}

To: (y/n)

From: private number

:)

  
There was a small photo attached- an eerie and blurry photo but one that make your blood run cold nonetheless. It was a picture of your window- of you to be exact. 

....

_That's me_

_That's a photo of me..._

"Mom? Dad? MOM?! DAD?!"

You shouted, turning around slowly to face the window.

You couldn't see anyone.

"MOM!"

"What?! What's going on?"

"I-is there anyone outside?"

"I don't know, why are you shaking? Are you crying? What's happening?" She rushed to your side.

"Please tell me dads just playing a joke on me or something-" your shaky hand showed her the phone.

"When was this?"

"Just now"

"Ok.... no, nobody would do this as a joke, I'll call the police. Come downstairs with me"

"A-Are you sure? Maybe I'm overreacting-"

"No you're not, come on sweetie" she ushered you downstairs.

——————————

"What do you mean you can't do anything?! It's scared the girl half to death- it basically a threat!" Your parent shouted down the phone at the police officer they had called.

_They can't do anything..._

"Send a police car?! Atleast do something! Oh god, thankyou! Just check the area to make sure nobody is here!"

After some more babbling and shouting they joined you on the couch.

"They're sending a parole car the search the area. If anything else happens you tell me and phone the police right away, ok? Do you have any idea who this could be? Is anyone giving you shit at school? Have you been in an argument recently?"

You furiously shook your head.

"That's why I'm so creeped out...I have no idea who this would be..."

"Ok...they said they'll record the situation but because it wasn't an actual threat they can't do anything"

"...great..."

"Don't worry, you'll be fine"

——————————

You jumped at the loud screech erupting next to you.

"Sorry....are you ok?"

Oh...it's just Kenma...

Calm down (y/n), you're at school, you're safe.

"Y-Yeah, I'm good"

"Can I borrow a pencil?"

"Uh, Yeah, sure thing" you pulled out a pencil and handed it to the boy.

Soon enough lunch time had came and you rushed to find your friends.

After the scare last night, you'd been a little too shaken to even use your phone, so you had some explaining to do.

"Asui! Ochako!"

"(Y/n), why didn't you text me last night?"

"Listen, I've been freaking the fuck out"

"Why?" Tsuyu asked.

"Look" you showed the girls the text.

"Ew, that's so creepy, do you know who it is?"

"I have no idea"

"Did you call the police?"

"Yeah, they said they can't really do anything though because it wasn't a threat or anything"

Both girls looked heartbroken for you.

"That's so shitty! Well...let as many people as you can know, then they can look out for you, ok?" Ochako suggested.

"Yeah...maybe"

——————————

You'd just said goodbye to Asui literally a few minutes ago before straying away on the short walk home.

To: (y/n)

From: private number

;)

Yet again there was another blurry photo attached- this time it depicted you walking down the street in the dark, illuminated by the street lights.

_No no no no no no no_

_I knew this was a bad fucking idea!_

_Jesus Christ....it isn't even a long walk home!_

You looked around, utterly petrified. At one point you were almost certain you were going collapse out of fear until you started to sprint.

_Just run_

_Just go_

_Holy shit_

You pulled out your phone and typed in the wrong passcode a few times because you were just that terrified.

"Mom?! Dad?! Hello?!"

"Hel- Are you running? What's going on?"

"I got another photo! Come get me I got another photo and I'm scared!"

"Holy crap, where are you?"

"I'm almost home" you sobbed.

"Right, calm down, I'm coming" You heard them open the door and begin to run themself.

"(Y/n)?! (Y/n)?!"

"Here! I'm here!" Your legs eventually gave up when you felt safe enough to stop.

"S-someone's following me!" You shouted out, waiting for your parent to come and comfort you on the dirty floor.

"Ok, come on, get inside, I'm calling the police again. From now on you don't go anywhere alone, understand?"

"Yes"

Honestly, it wasn't a rule you were mad about. You didn't want to be alone.

———————————

"Kuroo you're traumatising her" Kenma moaned.

"I know...it's hot isn't it?"

"Stop it"

"Just kidding! Don't be so stuck up about it, this is like the perfect opportunity for you"

"How?" Kenma asked.

"She's gonna scared of everything, what better time for the shy boy next to her in class to comfort her?"

"She's probably not going to talk to anyone"

"She will...well, she'll talk to you atleast. You're harmless, it's gonna be easy for her to trust someone like you. Just feign innocence and concern"

"I don't have to pretend, I am worried about her"

"It's for the greater good, Kenma. Besides, she'll probably notice how worried you are, perfect chance to move in and gain her trust" Tetsurou smiled.

"Ok...just- just don't go to far with this ok? I'm excited to talk to her but I don't want her to be completely ruined by it"

"Don't worry, I know my limits. This is purely to make her a little more vulnerable"

Kenma was truthful, he didn't want you to be traumatised, but a small sadistic part of him thrived when he saw you run away in fear.

A small part of him loved that sinister smile on Kuroos face when he watched you react to his messages from the crappy little phone they had bought specifically to harass you.

A small part of him just wanted you to be aware that somebody was watching.

A small part of him wanted you to know that you weren't alone.


	9. Helpful {9}

The messages carried on, but atleast they couldn't find you on your walk to school much anymore.

Kuroo and Kenma gave you a ride every time they could- and they even invited you to watch their volleyball practice tonight so you didn't have to walk home alone.

It was safe, you felt safe.

The boys meant well and it warmed your heart- honestly you didn't think they'd speak to you after you walked in on them making out, but they probably realised that you weren't judgemental. If they were dating, that's great for them! You weren't going to judge them- in fact it made it better for you, this way you knew they weren't creepy guys trying to get at you for the wrong reasons.

It appeared that nobody else knew that they were dating though, well actually they hadn't explicitly told you that they were dating, you just assumed it- so you kept your mouth shut.

"(Y/n), why don't you consider becoming the manager? Then you can stay back every night and we can take you home?" Kuroo suggested to you, leaning over and taking a drink from his water.

"What would I do? I don't know anything about volleyball"

"Don't worry- you'll learn. You'd just be helping out and attending matches and stuff"

"...yeah, you know what? It sounds good"

The promise of a safe journey home everyday lured you into accepting the offer. Kuroo nodded and went back to the court, slamming the balls that Kenma was tossing up to him.

Soon enough the team was packing up- you had to admit, it was impressive to see the boys in action.

The team was full of interesting people- Yamamoto being a little too full on for your like (don't worry, Kuroo soon scolded him for it) , Lev being a large, dopey toddler, Yaku being the sensible one, Fukunaga being strangely quiet but also interestingly noticeable- and, well, you already knew Kuroo and Kenma.

Obviously you didn't know everyone that well yet, but you were slowly understanding the dynamics.

To: (y/n)

From: unknown number

Wish you were here :(

  
Attached with the message was a picture of your room.

"Holy shit...holy crap!"

"Is something wrong?" Yaku asked.

"I- Uh, I need to go-"

"Wait, you're walking? I thought it wasn't safe-" Kuroo inquired.

"He texted me again-"

"What did he say? Why are you freaking out so bad?" The captain slowly lead you over to a corner, the rest of the team staying back or leaving- expect from Kenma who was hot on Kuroos trail.

"He's in my house! He sent me a picture of my room!"

"Oh, shit, ok, are your parents home? Is anyone in the house?"

"No"

"Ok, call your mom and tell her- you said she had contacted the police right? I'm sure she can contact them again...you can't go back to your house...do you wanna stay with us until they get somebody to check your home?"

"Y-Yes please- it'd mean a lot"

"It's no problem- it must be horrible for you"

————————

They started off casual, taking you to a small cafe while you waited for a text from your mom. You sat and worried about the police looking through your home, and if they might find anyone- but your mother soon texted you and told you that they checked it over and that nobody was inside.

The boys knew they had to let you go, but were impressed with the progress they had already made.

"We'll take you home" they kindly offered.

"I still feel weird about this all...I don't think I'm gonna feel safe there anymore" you admitted.

"Why?" Kenma feigned ignorance.

"Well- he knows where I live and he knows how to get into my house...god, what if he fucking murders me? What if he manages to get inside- the police won't even do anything"

"Well, you won't be spending much time there...you're at school and now you have volleyball with us, and we bring you home...so you should feel safer than before" the small boy tried to console you.

"Yeah...it's just- this is terrifying. It really effects you more than you think it would- I'm constantly on edge and the worst part is I don't even know who it is! Like is it someone I know? How did they find me?"

_Oh, you poor naïve soul..._

"Whoever it is, they're fucked up, but just like Kenma said, you won't be spending much time at home and when you're not there you'll be surrounded by people at school and on the team- don't worry"

"Yeah..."

"I told my grandma about you and she said that stuff like that used to happen to her and her friends back in her day- just don't interact with it. Act like it isn't happening and they'll get bored"

"Yeah, I hope so. It sucks to not feel safe in your own home"

The boys dropped you off at your home, waving at your mom as they left.

"Who are they?" She asked.

"They're the ones who've been giving me a ride home- I sit next to Kenma in class and I told him what was going on. They said I could be manager of the volleyball team too so I didn't have to walk home alone anymore!"

The boys grinned as they drove away, glaring at the smile on you and your moms faces.

"Should I send the text now?" Kenma asked, looking through the grainy pictures on the cheap burner phone.

"Yeah- Do it quickly. God- I can't believe she doesn't suspect us at all!"

"She thinks we're dating"

"What? Why would she think that?"

"She walked in on us making out-"

"Oh yeah-"

"But- it's a good thing really. She thinks we're dating so she won't even think of the possibility of one of us doing this. She completely fell for the trap too- she thinks it's an old guy" Kenma mused.

"Aw, it's so cruel but it's so cute to see her try and figure it out"

"She's so sure she's right, too...I want to up it a little though...if she doesn't feel safe in her home, and she has to be alone in there- she might ask us to stay with her until her parents come home. That'd be a sure way to gain her trust, and we'd be hanging out outside of school- she's start to see us more like friends"

————————

To: (y/n)

From: unknown number

Walk home is lonely without you :(

You jumped up from your bed- reaching for your note pad as you stared at the photo of the dim path.

_Another clue!_

_He walks home and must live on the south side of Tokyo- I know that place! If he walks home on that path I know that I should avoid it atleast...._

_Ok, so it's an older man who probably doesn't drive and lives on the South side of town..._


	10. Seeds {10}

"The police said that they're gonna try and track the private number- they've took my phone for a while so that sucks"

"Yeah...What are you doing to stop it? Has it gotten less extreme?" Kenma asked, turning to face you in class.

"I mean- it's still creepy, I've gotten a few more clues about who it might be though! I know it's an older guy from South of Japan- he rides his bike a lot and he works in a café...pretty vague but it's something. I'm thinking of changing my number, but the police said that I should be careful. Apparently if he can't contact me through my phone he could find other ways which could make him more violent or intrusive"

"I mean, he's pretty intrusive already, he was in your bedroom. Do you know what you're gonna do? There's a school break coming up and I'm guessing your parents still work, right?"

"Yeah...I was thinking about CCTV but it's costs a fuck ton and it'll take a while to install. The police said that they're willing to help and come check my home but...I don't know- it just doesn't seem safe. What if he shows up and the police are too late?"

"Why don't you stay at a friends house?" Kenma suggested.

He knows the answer. He knows you can't.

"They know where my friends live...must've followed them after following me"

"Oh...so they know me?"

"Nah, they haven't mentioned you. Trust me, if I felt like you of Kuroo were in danger I'd stop associating with you right away"

Kenma tried to choose his words carefully as he was about to plant the seed for his plan.

"I have a spare room in my house- if you ever felt scared you could come and stay. My parents wouldn't mind"

"Thankyou- I don't want to cause trouble for anyone though-"

"Honestly it would be fine. You said he hasn't followed me or Kuroo yet, right? So he hasn't worked out that we're the ones that are giving you a ride home. We could get you there without him knowing"

"Yeah...but won't you and your parents be doing stuff during the break? Are you sure they wouldn't mind having a random girl stay there?" You laughed, subtly dismissing the idea.

"If I explain what's happening they'd probably be worried and want you to stay too- besides, if you want something to do I'm pretty sure Kuroos cousin is coming to visit and they were looking for a babysitter"

"Oh..." I could babysit! That would give me something to do over the break instead of waiting to be stalked! "Really? For how long do they need a babysitter?"

"Well, Kuroos no babysitter himself and his grandparents are getting too ill to care for her all the time so they'd want one for her throughout the day...they'd pay you and everything"

"Oh...I should probably ask Kuroo about it then- I can help out his grandparents and not be a complete mess at home"

"I'll text him"

——————————

"That'd be a lot of help (y/n)" Kuroo seemed keen on the idea of you babysitting his little cousin, "my grandparents would feel better with someone I know in the house"

"Yeah, sure"

"I'll text you when to come and stuff, yeah? Or would you want me to come get you?"

"Oh- I don't have my phone at the moment actually"

"Why don't you come after school on Friday instead of us taking you home, do you wanna stay at my house or not?" Kenma suggested.

"Um..."

"Oh shit yeah- that creep knows where you live- are you gonna be alone over the school break?" Kuroo feigned concern for you.

"Yeah"

"Just stay at Kenma's place then- I live next door so you can just come over to take care of Akemi through the day"

_I mean..._

_I know them both pretty well, and they always help me out..._

_I can babysit throughout to day and go back to Kenmas place to sleep somewhere safe- my parents would feel better about me not being alone too_...

"If you guys wouldn't mind- I'd appreciate it..."

"Of course we don't mind" Kuroo smiled.

"Can I know you guys' addresses? Just so I can tell my parents"

"Sure"

"Pack a bag for Friday then" Kenma told you.

"Don't pack too much, we can always go back to your place and you can get some more"

——————————

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Can I stay over Kenmas house for the school break? I'm gonna babysit Kuroos cousin throughout the day"

"Who's Kenma? And who's Kuroo?"

"The ones that have been giving me a ride home"

"Oh...can't you stay with one of your other friends? What about Ochako she's sweet-"

"They know where she lives and she doesn't have space"

"Asui?"

"They know her too"

"I'd just feel better if you stayed with a girl-"

"Oh-Mom, don't worry about that! Kuroo and Kenma are dating- it's nothing weird. They're just worried that's all- like I said, I'll be babysitting through the day anyway and I'll be able to stay somewhere where that creep doesn't know. Here, I got their addresses in case you needed anything"

"But I won't be able to contact you-"

"I can use one of their phones to message you- or I can ask for their parents numbers and you can check up, it'll be fine, ok? Safer than staying here anyway...."

"...yeah, ok, sure. You should be allowed your phone back soon anyway so I'll give it to you as soon as possible"

"See! I might have my own phone back before I stay, don't worry"


	11. Parents {11}

"Oh hello! You're (y/n), right?" A male voice asked.

You shyly looked up to a man wearing glasses and sorting a short haircut.

"Oh- Yeah"

"This is my dad" Kenma stated.

"Oh! Thankyou for letting me stay here" you bowed to the man who smiled warmly at you.

"It's no problem at all- Kenma and Tetsurou-Kun told my wife what was happening- but don't worry, this area is very safe and has a lot of CCTV" he assured you.

"Right, Thankyou"

"Are you staying for dinner tonight Tetsurou-Kun?" He directed his attention to Kuroo, who stood behind you both with a grin.

"Yes please~"

——————————

The boys stood downstairs in the kitchen, helping Kenma's parents prepare some food.

"Do you talk to her much Kenma?" His mother, Anzu, asked.

"A little...we sit next to each other in class and I was with her when she had a panic attack. She started managing the volleyball team too"

"Ah- So are you here for moral support Tetsurou?"

"As always" the boy smiled to the woman, "figured Kenma wouldn't have any idea what to do so Y'know"

"Isn't she babysitting for your grandparents?"

"Yeah- my cousin is staying for the week and my grandparents are ill- so it should take her mind off of stuff"

"How bad is it? Has she been to the police?" Kenma's father, Ren, inquired.

"She's been to the police but apparently they're not very helpful. They didn't do anything until he broke into her house, they took her phone to try and track the him but they haven't really said much else- so I'm guessing it didn't go too well. They gave her it back not too long ago so it probably didn't lead to much" Kuroo informed, picking at the stray food on the counter as Anzu smacked his hands away.

"He used to follow her to and from school, take pictures of her inside of her house and eventually he broke in. She knows he's an older guy who rides his bike, lives on the south side of town and works in a cafe" Kenma interjected.

"Can't the police question everyone who fits that description?"

"They said that it'd be unfair to start questioning people if they couldn't link them to the case with evidence."

"Police are always crappy with stuff like this- the laws are so hit and miss that it barely protects people who get harassed" Anzu stated.

"Go and check on her, see if she's getting all of her stuff unpacked Ok"

The boys left the room, walking up the stairs and towards the spare bedroom where you sat on your phone and timidly watched the wall.

"Hi" Kenma spoke lowly, entering the room.

"Oh, hi"

"You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine"

"Did you end up changing your number?"

"Yeah, I'm hoping it'll just put him off contacting me if it's too much trouble...I don't even know how he got my number in the first place!"

"Well, just be extra careful where you put your information" Kuroo warned you.

While the boys upstairs were chatting away and trying to make you feel at home, Kenma's parents were discussing you.

"They said that he lost track of her once she started to get a ride home- plus we have a good security system to I wouldn't worry"

"Yeah I know- it's just sad she has to go through that, she can't even stay in her own home. Poor girl" Anzu, being somewhat of a shy homebody, thoroughly sympathised with your situation, "I'm glad that Kenma and Tetsurou are helping atleast"

"Yeah, I'm actually rather proud that he'd go out of his way to help her. Kenma likes his space and is usually quiet uncomfortable with having other people in his space, so it's nice that he offered her a place to stay"

"Tetsurou too, his grandma was telling me that he's been rather worried about her. She was eager to get a trusted babysitter and he was eager to keep her safe- you know that that stalker guy knows where all of her other friends live? Kenma gave me her parents phone number and they called me to make sure everything was ok and they said that they wouldn't usually allow (y/n) to stay with boys but that guy knows all of her female friends"

"Seriously...what a creep..."

Upstairs, the boys left you and went to Kenma's room while you got changed.

"She's here-like, She's here Kenma!" Kuroo whisper yelled.

"I know. We should start subtle at first though- don't get ahead of yourself"

"I won't- we can just start of with simple affection and if she's says anything we can just say we're being friendly. She still thinks we're dating right? That'll be a huge advantage for us"

"true...we shouldn't text her from the burner phone much while she's here- but as soon as she goes home we need to make it worse"

"I know-"

"No, Kuroo, I want her to be constantly on edge. I want her to break down in school and panic at the thought of going home....she'll stay with us and she'll never want to leave"


	12. Safe {12}

"So the hair runs in the family, huh?" You asked Kuroo, looking down fondly at the small girl with messy jet black hair.

"It's a good gene to inherit" he argued, patting the girls small hair of wild hair.

"This is Meiko, Meiko- this is (y/n)" he introduced you to his little cousin. She shyly waved and you smiled down at her.

_She's so freaking cute!_

"Oh- Hello. Are you the babysitter?"

"Oh, Yeah"

"Gran, this is (y/n)" Kuroo gestured between you and the older woman. She had grey hair and her tan face was covered in wrinkles, but she seemed like a kind soul.

"Nice to meet you (y/n)"

"Nice to meet you too"

Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you knew who it likely was.

You hadn't yet changed your number-the only advantage to the texts was that if he found out where you were then you would know that he knew.

To: (y/n)

From: unknown number

Where are you ?

_Well, atleast he doesn't know where I am now..._

_The moment I think Kenma or Kuroo are in danger because of me, I'll leave._

———————————

Taking care of Meiko was really easy actually- she was a very shy, calm girl who just wanted to carefully show you her doll collection.

She was very sweet and went to bed really early and without any disobedience.

To say you were nervous was an understatement- you felt so out of place at Kenmas house. Kuroo came with you both, probably because Kenma was feeling just as uncomfortable as you were.

All you could do was hope you weren't being a burden and try to help the family out.

"Tetsurou, seriously, I think you eat at my house more than your own" Anzu laughed. It made you feel a little better- the family were obviously accustomed to having someone stay with them a lot- even if that person was Kenmas childhood best friend and you're a just friendly acquaintance.

Besides, they would let you stay if you were being too burdensome- they all know the circumstances and were still ok with it.

You ate food with them all, only joining in the chat when necessary. Luckily it was Kenma's dad and Kuroo that basically carried the conversation throughout the meal.

After that his parents watched some TV and Kuroo basically lead you and Kenma upstairs into the room you'd be staying in.

You hung out, chatted about various things like homework, food, friends, TV shows and whatever else was on your minds.

That's when you got another text. They both looked at each other then to you.

"Do you want me to check it first?" Kuroo offered, putting down his own phone.

"I...no, I'll be fine" you hesitantly opened your phone.

"Changing your number may be the best thing" Kenma suggested.

"I know but...he already knows where I live and stuff- this way I can know where he is and kinda gauge how much danger I'm in, Y'know?"

"Yeah, that makes sense. Have you thought about moving house? If you live somewhere else you can change your number and he won't be able to find you again if you just keep low"

"It's the money really- and I don't want to keep my parents moving constantly. I just wish the damn police would take it more serious. They said that they can do checkups at my house but that's about it"

While you were opening up to the boys they were texting in secret.

To:Kuroo

From: Kenma

So are you staying over tonight?

To: Kenma

From: Kuroo

Idk, how do you think she'll react? She might trust you more at first

To: Kuroo

From: Kenma

But she'll find you more attractive, I'll gain her trust and you just tease her a little. Don't make a move, just make her flustered- remember, she thinks we're dating.

To: Kenma

From: Kuroo

Ok then, I'll stay. I'll take a shower here and I can ask to sleep in this room with her, I'll just stay on the floor or something.

"You staying tonight, Kuroo?"

"Oh...I don't know, (y/n)'s here..."

"Oh- do you usually stay in this room? Oh god, I'm sorry, I didn't know, I can go i-" you began instantly feeling like a disturbance.

"No need, you can sleep on the floor if you want, or you two can share he bed if (y/n) is comfortable. It is quite big" Kenma suggested. Suddenly you felt a mix of relief and panic- sure, now Kuroo could stay and you would get in the way but sharing a bed?

_Ok (y/n), it's really not that big of a deal._

_Like not at all._

_You'll just be semi-unconscious nextto each other._

I _t's not like anything weird is going to happen._

 _But if he's Kenma's boyfriend why doesn't he share a bed with Kenma_ -

"Oh, would you be ok with sharing a room? If you're uncomfortable I'll just leave-"

"No no, I don't mind, I want to disturb you guys at least as possible to please just do what you usually would." You smiled.

"Thankyou (y/n)" Kuroo smiled at you.

When Kuroo left to shower, Kenma laid down close to you on the bed, giving you a small heads up;

"He moves a lot in his sleep- if he cuddles you or hurts you just push him away"

_oh god_

—————————

It was fine.

You were fine.

This situation was fine.

Atleast, that What you tried to tell yourself. Of course, walking in on Kuroo and Kenma making out at school was a surprise- not a horrendous surprise, br a surprise.

You'd tried to not let that get in the way of your friendship, as you never brought it up or acted weird around them. Sure, it was hot, but you respected them and would go about it with dignity.

However, what you were struggling to ignore was a half naked Kuroo crawling into bed with you and wishing you a goodnight.

_Holy shit_

_Ok_

_Oh my god- he touched me!_

_His arm is on me- Oh, Ok, he moved away_...

Again, you were left wondering why he didn't just share a bed with Kenma instead. They obviously had something going on, so wouldn't it make sense to sleep next to him?

_Hm, I suppose they might have not told their families yet..._

He seemed to drift to sleep fine, you however, did not. The boy was warm and muscly and big, so when he laid an arm across your waist it was the only thing you could focus on.Furthermore, the moment you felt his hot breath on the back of your neck you nearly exploded.

You felt weird of course, Kuroo and Kenma probably had something going on and you didn't want to make it seem like you were getting in between it. Of course, Kenma would probably understand, but just in case. You wanted to make sure Kenma was completely comfortable with it because after all, he was giving you a safe place to stay.

So you did try to wiggling forward and shove Kuroo back, but he grabbed onto you, this time his lips pressing into your back as he mumbled something in his sleep.

_Holy shit holy shit holy shit_

You could feel his burning bare skin against your back as he held you still.

_This is a weird situation._

_I'm not necessarily angry, but it definitely is awkward._


	13. Comfortable {13}

"Hey-"

The small woman opened the door slowly with a shy smile, sneaking into the room.

Kuroo had gotten up a while ago and went to shower, leaving you alone.

"Hi" you replied to Kenma's mom.

"How are you?"

"I'm good"

"I just came to ask about the whole...stalker thing" she smiled with a hint of sympathy.

"Oh- yeah...it's a little complicated I guess"

"Have you blocked the number?"

"Well, I was going to. I called up my phone company and the police but then they said that if he already knew where I lived then he might start coming to my house more if he can't contact me through the phone-"

"Ah yes. Makes sense. Let me guess- the police aren't doing very much about it?"

"It's like they're just ignoring it" You admitted.

"Gosh, they really need to start taking stuff like this more seriously...anyway, I'm glad you feel safer here at least. Have you thought about what you're gonna do next?"

"I don't really know...I've been wanting to just block the number but then he could easily use another phone or just show up at my house... the only good thing about him texting me is that I can sort of track him in a way to see if I'm in any danger"

"Yeah- that's a good thing I suppose..."

"But it's still not great to get those messages constantly" you sighed, "Yeah, I can gauge if he's close to me or in a violent mindset, but it means I'm always anxious of the next message"

"Hm...honestly, maybe you should just change your number. Call the police and let them know and ask to have a few more police vehicles around your home. You said he knew you weren't home so he'll probably stay away from your house. Just bite the bullet (y/n), you don't want this to consume you" Anzu stated.

"Yeah, I figured I'd have to do it sometime..."

"Your mom called me this morning when you were sleeping and was asking me about the whole situation...I've been through something similar- not this serious, but similar. Just so you know, you're always welcome here if you don't feel safe at home"

"Thankyou" She was such a warm and kind woman- very feline like Kenma but very welcoming like her husband.

"Your parents are welcome to come over too- your mom seemed quite worried. I've added her on my social media so she wouldn't be so scared about who your staying with but it's natural she'd be worried"

"Yeah" you sighed, "I'll call her up if I decide to change my number...just to give her a heads up. I'd hate to put my parents in danger..."

"Couldn't they stay in a hotel for a few days until it blows over? You could go with them and you'd be fine because of all the security guards. They'll be cautious if you inform them of the situation"

"Eh- money's tight, but I guess if it gets too bad we could always do that"

————————————

It never occurred to you just how touchy Kuroo was.

He could just talk to you- he's have a hand on your shoulder or he'd rest an elbow on you. He couldn't let you just walk past him- he'd always have to pay you along with his large hand hitting the small of your back. He couldn't just not touch you.

It was a little uncomfortable at first- but when Kenma didn't react you guessed he was just a touchy person. If the person he's dating doesn't care, why should you?

Some people are just naturally touchy- maybe you just hadn't realised. It's nothing weird, you knew that, Kuroo was dating Kenma.

Speaking of Kenma, he was slowly, very slowly, coming out of his shell.

"Is there anything you want to do (y/n)?"

"Eh, not really. I'm ok with whatever"

"Then why not practice some tosses, Kenma?" Kuroos deep voice boomed from behind you, causing you to almost jump out of your skin.

His words were quickly followed why his arm slithering around your shoulders and pulling you close for him to lean on.

"No"

"Why? (Y/n), don't you want to?"

"Isn't it a little early for exercise?" You grimaced.

"You've been awake for ages" he moaned, squeezing your arm.

"Don't pressure me to exercise or I'll just cry" you threatened the taller boy. 

He laughed and Kenma paused his game- splaying our across his bed.

"Gosh Kenma, you have so much chapstick, I always lose mine-" you giggled, noticing the piles of the lip balm that he had in his room.

"O-Oh Yeah..."

———————————

You were sandwiched between the two boys on the couch, watching some crappy movie that had been advertised non-stop.

After deciding to turn your phone onto airplane mode, you thought more about what Anzu had told you.

' _Just bite the bullet'_

_'Don't let it consume you'_

Maybe you should just take action now. There were pros and cons to each side but at the end of the day you had to do whatever was best for you- and what was best for you was leading a normal life without harassing, creepy texts.

Meanwhile, the boys were texting between themselves.

To: Kuroo

From: Kenma

She's really comfortable with my mom. That's gonna help- she'll probably feel more at ease with a motherly figure.

To: Kenma

From: Kuroo

True, last night she didn't push me away or anything. Should we try to make her fall asleep down here?

To: Kuroo

From: Kenma

Yeah. She's fine with you being so touchy with her too.

To: Kenma

From: Kuroo

It's probably because she still thinks we're dating lol :P you try being touchy, just pretend to fall asleep on her shoulder

Kenma bit his lips at the proposition, wanting to try but also scared.

_I suppose if she thinks I'm asleep she can't get mad, he thought._

So, he slowly closed his eyes, feigning the illusion of drowsiness just in case you looked over before he rested his head on you.

He felt weird about it- and he could definitely feel you still for a moment before sinking back into the chair and allowing the contact.

Kuroo just smiled, knowing that Kenma was probably buzzed from the feeling just like he was the night before. Obviously the older didn't want to miss out. So he reached around you, his arm hanging loosely on your shoulders casually as he gently played with Kenmas hair.

If you did happen to ask why he was touching you- which you probably wouldn't - he's just say that he wanted to play with Kenmas hair.

Of course, you stayed silent for the rest of the movie and you slowly drifted off the sleep on your own- resting your head against Kenmas while Kuroo pressed himself closer to the both of you.


	14. Deception {14}

It was an early morning- Kuroo didn't stay last night either. You slept alone in the spare room and now you were awake and in need of a drink.

_I can't just go looking around their house..._

_I've been waiting for someone else to wake up and check on me but I don't think they're going to._

_Maybe I should go ask Kenma?_

_I hope he won't mind- I don't think he will_.

He was interesting to say the least. His calm and introverted demeanour is what made you trust him so much in the first place- never nagging you or trying to initiate small talk- he was just there if you needed him and wasn't if you didn't.

His mother's presence was extremely calming too- she seemed to care just like Kenma did- and finally having another female presence -and a more mature one at that- that that pervert didn't know about helped a lot.

"Kenma?"

You knocked at his door while lowly whispering his name.

".....hmm?"

You took that as a green light to open to door- so you slowly stuck your head in his room to see the boy cuddled in a blanket with messy hair and puffy eyes.

_Aww! How cute!_

"Yeah?"

"I-oh- I wanted a drink and thought I'd ask just in case y'know..."

"Yeah- just help yourself" he replied.

"Ok cool....where do you keep your cups and stuff?"

"They're in the cupboard right next to the door"

"Ok, thanks!"

You left the boy in the dark room, heading for the stairs and making your way to the kitchen.

It seemed no one else was awake either- it was a weekend so his parents probably wanted to catch up on some sleep.

It was nicer this way though- there was no awkward small talk or anything and you could just make a drink and enjoy the silenc-

"OYA OYA OYA"

"Jesus fucking Christ Kuroo!" You scolded, almost throwing the cup in your hands out of shock.

"Gooood morning~"

You just stared at the boy- amazed by the blatant disregard for the hideously early time he had chosen to bust through the door and start shouting.

"Where's Kenma?"

"Still in bed" you told him.

"Ah- he was probably up all night playing games again"

You nodded, finally taking a sip of your drink that you'd been craving.

"Suppose I should wake him up- KENMAAAA!!"

"Kuroo fucking tetsuro- what the fuck!?" You whisper yelled, "his damn parents! You can't just start yelling at this time!"

"Huh?" He turned to you in confusion, "are his parents not at work already?" He questioned.

"On a weekend?"

"Yeah, it's a busy season (y/n)- extra shifts and shit"

"Oh"

You were interrupted by the door creeping open to reveal Kenma wrapped in his blanket donning the same puffy face you had seen him with a few minutes earlier.

"Don't shout at this time Kuroo"

"Needed to get you up- poor (y/n) was wandering around all alone and lost" the older boy dramatically sighed.

"Whatever, what do you want?"

"Just came to see you"

"And take my food I assume"

You turned away from Kenma to find Kuroo already stuffing his face with some slices of ham fresh from the fridge.

"How the hell did you two even end up together?" You laughed, not even thinking about what you had just blurted out.

Sure, you had walked in on them making out, but they'd never exclusively told you that they were in a relationship or anything like that.

For all you know that could have been a hookup that they avoid talking about, homosexuality isn't a widely accepted thing in Japan- they could be super scared about you knowing-

"Together?" Kenma questioned.

"Yeah- I know" Kuroo butted in, "but um....(y/n)"

"Yeah?"

"Don't um....don't mention it to anyone please" he requested with a nervous tone.

"Oh, sure thing- I get it, I shouldn't have brought it up, sorry"

"Oh no it's fine, I don't mind you knowing- we're friends after all" he smiled.

_It feels nice that they'd trust me with something like that..._

_Such sweet boys too- it's a shame they can't be confident with their relationship_

Kuroo grinned as he turned away from Kenma who wore a questioning glance.

He knew that this would make them the last people that you would suspect.

You think that him and Kenma are together- you probably assumed that they're both just gay- meaning that they've already been ruled out as suspects.

Why would two gay boys in a relationship stalk and profess their love for a girl??

They're safe and you're clueless- just how he liked it.


	15. Sweet {15}

"I brought you some tea"

"Thankyou" you smiled, watching the boy trail into the guest room and place a hot cup down next to you as he sat on the corner of the bed.

"It's ok....so how are you? He hasn't found you yet has he? Or us?" Kenma asked warily.

"No- nothing yet, he's been laying off actually. I'm hoping it'll get better but you know, trying to go get help from the police is like talking to a brick wall- but don't worry, if I thought you or Kuroo were in any way at risk I'd leave right away"

He smiled calmly.

  
"I really appreciate everything you've done for me y'know..."

"It's ok"

"Well, the school breaks almost over so you won't have to deal with me for much longer" you joked.

He smiled again, not showing his teeth but it was definitely a smile. A soft smile.

_He's really pretty actually_

_His eyes are really something special_

"It's ok, I really don't mind"

"...so...you lived here your whole life? It's a nice house"

"Thanks. My parents bought it before I was born- Kuroo moved in when we were younger"

"Oh, so that's how you two met?"

"Yeah....it was awkward at first"

"Did your parents do the whole 'push them into a room and force them to be friends because they're similar ages' thing?"

"Pretty much. Believe it or not Kuroo was worse than I was"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Super awkward kid"

You laughed a little.

"The thought of you carrying the friendship between you both was not what I expected"

You both sipped at your tea as you spoke quietly with the warm morning sun creeping through the blinds like honey.

—————————

"I still can't believe that you were the awkward one" you smiled, waddling along with Kuroo and Kenma into the kitchen.

"I wasn't that bad, Kenma was just mean" he teased, but Kenma didn't bite back.

Instead he left the kitchen, moving to the living room instead to snuggle up under his blanket and get ready for the movie, leaving you and Kuroo to make the snacks.

"Snack numero uno-" he flipped a spatula that he picked up from the bench, "popcorn- leave it to be because I'm a pro" he grinned.

"However, my little sweet potato, you can have a very important job"

"what a lucky sweet potato I am" you sarcastically sang.

"Indeed. You can put everything else into bowls- chocolate, chips, pretzels yada yada you get it"

You picked up the bag of chips, pouring them into the bowl just like he asked until Kuroo decided to playfully punch your arm.

"Ow!"

"Always be ready for attack! Where's your guard?"

"Kuroo shut u-"

"Oh my god (y/n) this is appalling" he stressed, pulling you into a light choke hold.

"Where is your fighting stance? Where's the resistance?"

"I seriously hate you" you giggled.

"Why're you hitting yourself?"

"Ow! God dammit you absolute child!-"

You tensed up your arms, trying to stop the massive nerd from smacking you with your own palm.

"You want snacks or not shit head?"

"Ok- but seriously" he noted, letting you go, "you need to work on your stance"

Eventually you'd both finished making up the snacks and carried the bowls into the sitting room where Kenma waited.

"Hello your highness, could I tempt you with a snack?" You smiled at him.

"Gimme the popcorn"

———————————

It was calming to fall asleep between the two boys- something you'd become somewhat used to.

It didn't feel weird- it didn't feel uncomfortable either.

Kenma knew his limits and he liked to stick with them, he'd wrap himself up and sit as close as possible to either you or kuroo and sink contently into his blanket mountain.

Kuroo was...different.

Like you said, you weren't uncomfortable around them but-

Actually, fuck that, sometimes Kuroo really teetered on the line of inappropriate. Every time he'd squish up to you or tickle you or press his face to your skin you'd look to Kenma.

_Is this ok?_

_Surely this isn't ok?_

_Is Kenma too shy to say anything?_

_Surely Kuroo wouldn't do this infront of his boyfriend-_

_But is he bisexual or gay?_

_He has to be gay otherwise Kenma would be bothered by it-_

Maybe it was just because you'd never seen him be that affectionate with Kenma, but then again, they aren't too open about their relationship.

You allowed it to slip your mind for the time being but you definitely didn't forget.


	16. Friends {16}

You were grateful for Kuroo and Kenma, but boy it felt good to be back home.

Even if the underlying fear of being watched was still there, it just felt nice to be back in an environment you recognised.

What you didn't miss however, was school. 

The school break had to come to an end and unfortunately it had- sooner than you'd hoped for.

So, yes, you missed your own room, but you didn't get to fully appreciate it again before you were out the door and heading to school.

Kuroo offered to give you a ride again but you turned him down- he and Kenma were one of the very few friends that that creepy stalker hadn't followed home yet, and you wanted to keep it that way.

Thankfully your first day back at school started off without a hitch- not to mention you were sat next the Kenma so you already felt a little safer.

You were scared that after spending so much time with the boy that you two would run out of things to talk about, especially considering the boys reluctance to socialise, but to your surprise you both managed to keep a conversation going for some time.

He didn't mind silence either- that's what made it so easy to be around him. If the conversation stopped then you both sat in silence- but it wasn't weird, it was just quiet.

"Have the police done anything else?"

"Pft" you laughed off the suggestion, "they couldn't give a shit"

—————————

"Oh come on~"

"Hey!" You jumped between the two boys who seemed to be bickering, "what's going on?"

"Kenmas being a party pooper"

"It's not even a party" Kenma argued.

"Whatever- I wanted to hang out tonight and go outside, but Kenma doesn't wanna leave his room"

"Fair enough" you shrugged with a laugh.

"No! (Y/n) c'mon I need to count on you!" Kuroo dramatically sighed, "hey- why don't you come out with us tonight?

"What do you wanna do?"

"He just wants to walk around and stuff" the smaller boy scoffed.

"Hush! You never come out anymore- don't you just wanna sit outside sometime? Do something other than play games? If you really want we can take the car somewhere so we're still inside"

"...."

"Hmmm?"

"Fine" the smaller boy caved.

"Good! So, (y/n), you coming?"

"Yeah, sure" you shrugged, "oh- actually...I haven't heard from that guy in a while so maybe I should be careful so you guys don't get involved"

"Don't be stupid" Kuroo flicked your forehead, "you'd rather deal with him alone than with two other people?"

"No- it's not that, I just don't want him to bother you guys"

"Don't worry- he can't actually get onto school grounds, right? He won't know- besides, it means you're safer and it also means Kenmas more likely to actually leave his room"

————————

"What is that?-"

"Weed" the tall boy innocently admitted after parking up the car in some random car park.

"Kuroo-"

"Hey! I'm not forcing anyone else to smoke it- just respect my choice and let it happen"

"Y'know- somehow it doesn't surprise me" you laughed, lying down in the backseat.

"Roll the window down atleast" Kenma demanded.

"Ok, ok, calm down"

"I'm assuming you don't smoke then Kenma?"

He shyly looked to you before shaking his head.

"He's tried it though-"

"Kuroo shut up-"

"Really?!" You shrieked.

"Of course he has!"

"Shut up-"

"Kenma I don't care if you have, I mean, I'm surprised but I don't think badly of you" you smiled, sitting up to look at him.

"Soooo- since it's all out in the open- do you guys wanna smoke?"

Kenma turned back to you- seemingly curious to see what you'd answer.

_Oh_

_Shit_

_Does he want to?_

_I don't wanna pressure him-_

_I don't want to stop him from doing it if he wants to too though_ -

"I-I'll do whatever you do...just not too much because I can't go home a mess"

Kuroo leaned in the try and gauge the boys answer.

"So? Kenma?"

He sighed deeply before answering.

"...fine...only a little though"

"Yes! See- when you come outside you can live whole new life experiences" Kuroo laughed, reaching for his grinder and weed.

_Oh_

_This is wild for me-_

_Holy crap_

_I feel like some teenage delinquent_

"You ever smoked weed before?" Kenma asked, fully ignoring Kuroo and his excited antics.

You gave him your response and he nodded understandingly.

"Ok...well if you don't want to go home after you can stay at my house...if you need to..."

"Thank you Kenma"

_Is Kenma really about to..._

_I really can't imagine him doing that-_

_I wonder if he really wants to or if he's just nervous in-front of Kuroo-_

_He seems comfortable enough to say no, so maybe Kenma just has a side that he likes to keep private_...

It was that day that solidified your friendship with the boys.

After smoking, laughing at some fat pigeon, eating a fuck ton of food and then falling asleep in Kenmas living room- you realised that they no longer saw you as just someone they could protect.

You weren't just a random girl- they'd become comfortable around you. It started slowly but instead of just accepting your company, now they seemed to seek it out and even enjoy it.

It was nice.

It made you feel good.

You had two very special friends that you kept very close to your heart...


	17. Explore {17}

"Their parents seem lovely but how come those two suddenly took an interest in you?" Your Mom asked.

She'd spoken to their parents before now- demanding to talk with them before allowing you to stay at Kenmas house, but it seemed she still had her doubts.

"Kenma sits next to me in class and offered to help and from there we just started hanging out and became friends"

"Oh...have they ever tried anything with you?"

"oh no no no- it's not like that"

"You may not see them like that but they're teenage boys and they might have feeli-"

"They're gay, mom. They just don't tell anyone, their parents don't know yet" you reminded her.

"Oh...oh...oh well I guess that makes more sense then...Forget about that" she laughed.

"Yeah. Kenma never did anything weird anyway and by the time I met Kuroo I'd known about them two dating so I knew they weren't gonna be weird about it"

"Ok ok, I get it, I was wrong. It just seemed strange but I suppose it makes more sense now. You going out with them tonight?"

"I think so, they said they'd pick me up if they decided to go anywhere"

——————————

"Kuroo- if you send me one more photo of that fat fucking pigeon I'm gonna lose my mind"

"It's his lock screen too" Kenma mumbled, clicking at Kuroos phone to show the unamused face of the chubby bird staring back.

"His name is Burger and he's thicc, not fat" Kuroo defended.

"You make it really hard not to smack you sometimes. Anyway, where are we going?"

"We're going ghost hunting in the woods"

"Oh _get fucked-"_

"Fine- ok, not a good reaction so we do have a second option" the messy haired boy sang in defence, "there's an abandoned swimming bath on the outskirts of town. It's like, real far out in the old suburbs so no ones around"

"Hmm, a swimming pool?"

"Yeah, it's been there for years but they've just never took it down. It'd probably cost more than it's worth considering it's in the middle of nowhere" Kenma stated.

"Have you been before?"

"Kenma told me about it and I've been trying to get him to go for ages but he never has- but! Now you're here so he's outnumbered and we can go exploring"

"Sounds like a plan. Creepy abandoned swimming pool it is!"

—————————

"What if we get caught?" You whispered, walking up the dark path shrouded by bushes, plants and wired fencing.

"Eh, we'll probably just get a warning or something, don't worry. They go easy on teenagers usually"

You looked back to see Kenma messing around on his phone as he blindly followed the both of you.

"There it is"

"It's a little creepy isn't it?"

"Aww, is someone scared?" The tall boy teased.

"Shut up Kuroo you'd be the first one to piss your pants if anything happened"

"Pft" he scoffed but didn't seem to prepare a comeback in time and changed the subject, "So Kenma, where's the entrance again?"

You saw the light of his phone flashlight as he finally began to pay attention and lead the way.

"You go up those steps" he pointed as some old rusted stairs that led up to the second floor, "all the doors on the bottom floor are boarded up"

"Ok"

Youtoddled along after Kuroo who had taken the lead again while nervously eyeing kenma.

"This is kinda scary but kinda fun"

The boy turned and offered a tiny smile.

_It's so nice when he smiles_

"Kuroo keeps telling me to go outside of my comfort zone so I suppose it has to be a little scary"

"C'mon slow pokes!"

You and Kenma shared a brief few seconds of eye contact with warm smiles before jogging up to Kuroo.

"Are those stairs gonna be strong enough?" You asked, eyeing the rusted metal.

"Well we're gonna find out"

Kuroo was first to step on, slightly bouncing on the first step to test the strength.

"Nah- it'll be fine"

"Ok...crap, I'm actually kinda scared" you laughed, following Kenma who had now stepped on too.

The smaller boy stopped to turn around to you and give you a few words of encouragement, "Live a little"

It was actually kind of weird- you wouldn't expect Kenma to be the one to say that. Kuroo probably would, but Kenma was usually just as nervous as you.

You sighed and gave him a smile, "yeah- no, right. I got this"

And so you followed them up the stairs and ascended further into the dark sky- almost touching the sparkling stars.

"You both ok?" Kuroo asked with his hand on the old door.

"Yep"

With that he pulled down the handle, opening up the entrance.

"This is creepy as fuck..."

"(Y/n) are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah it's just....creepy and dark"

"C'mere, there's nothin' to be scared of!" He pulled you close to him in a sort of one armed hug to try and make you feel more secure, "it's gonna be cool! Trust us or you're gonna end up locking yourself in your house like you did before"

"I do have a stalker" you reminded him, "it's not like I could go out whenever I wanted"

"True but you can now because you're with us- so let's go"

"He's an idiot but he's strong so if anything happens we can leave him to fix it and run away" Kenma butted in, walking past and pulling you into the building softly.

"Kenma you're so mean"

You giggled at the pair, very used to their bickering by now.

"We probably should have come at daytime" you grumbled as your eyes tried to adjust to the darkness.

"Nah it's cooler at night"

"But it's dark"

"That's why we brought flashlights, pea head"

"Shut up fat head"

Kuroo pulled out the flashlight and switched it on the illuminate the place.

"Jesus Christ it's fuckin' bright"

"It's my dads from work"

"They must've emptied the pool, the outdoor one still probably has water in it" Kenma spoke up and began walking along the balcony.

"Can we get down there?"

"Yeah come on"

You followed them down the stairs at the end on the balcony onto the ground floor where the swimming pool was located.

"The changing rooms are through there...should we go look?"

"No! It looks like the fuckin' portal to hell!" You squeaked looking at the dark abyss hidden behind the doorframe.

"We can always come back" Kenma stated, "we still need to check out the outside yet"

Kuroo nodded, "next weekend?"

"Sure- but during the daytime" you demanded.

He shrugged and started rummaging through his bag again.

"Anyone wanna smoke?"

"Sure"

He made his way down into the empty pool where he sat in the corner using the flashlight to light up the tiled floor. You and Kenma followed him down the pool ladders and eyed your surroundings. The ceiling had panes of glass throughout to let in natural light but right now it only served to frame the stars and allow the cold moonlight to slowly creep in.

It was a really cool place- it kind of seemed like something out of a video game- or like reality wasn't quite the same inside this place. It didn't quite feel real.

"I like it here"

"Me too- it's cool"

You budged up next to Kenma while waiting for Kuroo to finish making the joint.

"Next time we should bring snacks"

Kenma nodded in agreement before turning to face you. His nose was a mere few inches from yours.

"Your eyes are so pretty Kenma"

He seemed very taken aback, like he'd never been complimented before actually.

"I-oh thanks..."

—————————

"Goodnight! See ya later"

"Night (y/n)"

You waved goodbye to the boys who sat and watched you entered your house before driving away.

"(Y/n)?" Your mom called.

"Yeah?"

"You ok? Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah, I'm just gonna go to bed now"

"Ok"

You trailed upstairs and flopped onto your bed.


	18. Too much {18}

"That's gross"

"It stinks"

"Well aren't you two just so positive today" Kuroo sang.

"It is kind of gross though- I mean, it's pretty but in a gross way"

"A little like you then"

"Hey!" You playfully punched the his arm as you both giggled.

This time you'd all decided to come to the outside pool first only to find the old attraction covered in overgrowth and puddled with thick polluted rainwater.

"I mean- if this is our new spot then I think we should focus on cleaning the inside" you said- not wanting to stick around near the outdoor pool for much longer.

"Agreed" Kenma stated.

"Ok- then I wanna go check out more on the inside. There's changing rooms and offices and probably some kind of lounge area-"

"I hear that there was a cafe when my aunt worked here" the smaller boys added.

"For real? Even better"

——————————

"It's feels like we're in some sort of video game or movie"

"Yeah..."

"Ain't it weird that a few months ago I was nervous to even speak to you? I was nervous to speak to anyone-"

"You were?" Kenma asked, seemingly a little shocked.

"Yeah- and now I'm stuck with you,Kuroo and his dumbass pigeon obsession"

"Speaking of- isn't that his jacket?" He motioned you the grey sweater you were wearing that was clearly much too large for you.

"Don't tell him- I don't think he's noticed yet"

"OYA!"

You both jumped at the loudest member of the group before Kenma gave you a sly little nod.

"So the changing rooms are just full of dirty cubicles-" tetsurou announced.

"I told you"

"-so I think the pool and here are our main spots."

He gestured around the abandoned cafe that sat quiet on the second floor above the main entrance. It was studded with huge windows that allowed a view of the miles of abandoned and overgrown greenery surrounding the building. It really felt like another dimension- like some post-apocalyptic world or dystopian society.

"It already pretty clean up here" you shrugged, "the chairs are comfy - we could probably wash them down if we wanted but that's about all we'd have to do."

"Why don't we take some of those little couch things down into the pool? So we have somewhere to sit when we go down there"

Kuroo nodded at Kenmas suggestion.

"Can't we just stay up here?" You pouted, "I'm comfy"

"We still-hey! When did you take that jacket?"

"I've been caught"

"Shame" Kenma mused, watching you hold onto the oversized jacket protectively.

"Anyway- I still think we should stay up here" you sighed, lying further back in the booths chair while your legs hung over Kenmas lap.

———————————

"I'm a Scorpio"

"I'm not surprised Kuroo- you scream Scorpio in every way"

"I'm a Libra"

"Hmm, less obvious but also very understandable" you quipped, "you guys ever been to a palm reader or one of those psychic people?"

"nah"

"Do you believe in that sort of stuff?"

"Hold on- if we're gonna have conversations like this I wanna get baked"

"Fair enough" you giggled with them. It was becoming more and more normal for you all to smoke together. You weren't complaining- it always ended in laughs and Kuroo usually supplied it so there really weren't any downsides.

"Pre-rolled" he simply said, placing a joint in-front of you each carefully.

"Someone's eager-"

Kenma didn't say much, just continued playing his game and occasionally reaching out for some of the snacks that you'd brought.

"I don't want any this time" Kenma pushed back the joint, "I'm already pretty tired so it'll just knock me out"

You both nodded- it was an unwritten rule for all of you that Kenma sometimes didn't want to join in with everything. Sometimes he just liked to be there, not actually interact with the activity or join in. He just wanted to do his own thing while you guys where there doing your own thing.

"Anyway-" you smiled while Kuroo lit up the joint for you before lighting his own, "mystics, ghosts, psychics- what do you think?"

"Hmmm" he thought, "y'know, there are a lot of bullshitters. Most of em' in Tokyo are scams, but I've heard some real crazy stories from people I trust"

"Yeah, that's true" you puffed out, "do you ever think you've seen something paranormal?"

"I don't know- I feel like everything people claim to see can usually be explained"

"Most things" you corrected, "some things are like- completely impossible"

"Yea

I know

  
  


~~Ghosts~~

Hhhhh

  
  


_Orbs_

I was a kid when I saw a shadow

  
  


I always thought it followed me

I moved to the city

HHH

Ghost

Ouija

~~Followed~~ me home

The birds are so loud

They're all singing so loud

Are they really that close?-

_White_ noise

_Wait what-_

_Did I just blank?_

_I feel like there was some sort of time skip_ -

You looked, around feeling a warmth run through your body as you tried to understand what was going on. In the moment you didn't feel real...

Everything felt airy and....imaginary....

_I can't really see properly-_

_It's all like stop motion and slow but fast;;;_

_What the fuck?_

_Is this the weed-_

_It's never made me react like this before_

"Kuroo" you mumbled, starting to feel a little panicked as you heard your own voice clearer than ever, "did you roll those?"

"Yeah, why?"

"How much did you put in it- holy shit"

_Everything fucking slow and so clear..._

Suddenly your surroundings seems more...obscure. You could see everything for what it was and more.

"Around the same amount I always put in, why?"

"It...it feels different"

"Are you ok?" Kenma piped up.

"I think I just had too much" you sat up at the table and rested against it. The whole place seemed to switch in your head from somewhere kinda cosy to somewhere fucking insidious and evil. You don't know why you'd suddenly gotten paranoid or scared- it'd never happened before.

Kuroo and Kenma shared a concerned look before the younger jumped up from his slumped position to talk to you.

"You sure? What's making you say that?" He asked.

"Everything slow a-an....I can hear the birds like really loud"

"You want anything to eat?" Kuroo asked.

You shook your head slightly.

"I wanna go home. It's dark"

"Ok- are you sure you can go home in this state?" Kenma asked.

"Fuck I forgot about that..."

"Why don't we just chill here for a while until you feel better?"

"No. Not here-" you begged, looking over your shoulder into the darkness that surrounded you.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I don't know...I don't like it here for some reason-"

"It's safe here (y/n)- it's just the smoke I promise-"

"I know it's safe but I want to fucking leave-"

"We can go to my house if you want to" Kenma butted in sensing your fear turning into anger.

"Thankyou"

Both boys took turns helping you walk back to the car- Kuroo stroking you back and holding you close and Kenma asking you questions occasionally to try to reassure you.You mentioned your fast heartbeat as you felt more and more afraid of being out in the open.

_What if he finds me?_

_What if he's watching?_

_I'm in no state to defend myself-_

They put you in the back seat of the car so you had more room to spread out and then they spoke to you again.

"You feeling better?"

"No" you sighed, "but I like it here better than in there"

"Ok, we'll be at Kenmas in no time"

"Ok...Kenma can you stay back here with me?"

"Ok"

As soon as he hopped into the backseat he was attacked with the spare blanket Kuroo kept back there and your arms pulling him closer.

"I'm gonna go to sleep"

You heard Kuroo giggle in the front as he started the engine.

"Wow, affectionate much (y/n)-chan?"

"Shut up" you managed to slur before succumbing to a deep sleep with Kenmas hand softly stroking your hair.


	19. Out of it {19}

"Is she awake?"

"(Y/n)?"

You opened your tired eyes, wincing at the sudden light.

"Hm" you hummed in response, feeling too lazy to give an actually reply. A heavy feeling lay thick over your entire body as you covered yourself in the warm blanket.

_Hm, I'm in Kenmas room....I don't remember getting here..._

You spotted Kuroo sat on the edge of the bed talking to Kenma who was seemingly on the other side of you.

"You feelin' ok? You wanna drink?"

"Yes please"

Kuroo was off in a split second to collect you some water.

"Ugh...I feel like crap"

Kenma was sat on the bed too, to your right side, cross legged and emerged in his game.

"I'm not surprised"

"Was I that bad?"

"I mean...you didn't really do much, it was difficult to get you into the house and stuff"

"Ah...sorry"

"It's ok- happens to the best of us" Kuroo laughed as he waltzed back in to give you your drink.

"Thanks- oh, and thanks for like...taking care of me"

"It's all good- now you just have to take care of us the next time we end up too high or drunk to function"

"Seems fair" you agreed, "I just- it's never done that before. I don't know why I reacted like that-"

"I got it from different guy than usual" Kuroo explained, "so maybe it was different or just stronger"

"Yeah probably- oh fuck! My parents?! They're gonna kill me-"

"I messaged them for you" Kenma stopped your panic.

"Oh...how?"

"It took some time for you to actually pronounce your password but eventually you did and I got in touch with them"

"Thanks- you guys are life savers. Were they ok about it?"

"Yeah"

"C'mon lets go get some food" Kuroo chirped.

——————————

"If I hit him in the head it's 10 points right?"

"10 points for the head, 5 for the body, 2 for a limb" Kenma explained.

"There he is!" The moment Kuroo emerged from behind the wall you and Kenma launched your empty bottles at him.

"Headshot!" You immediately called as the plastic bounced off of Kuroos cheek.

"Hey! What the fu-"

"10 points!" You cheered for yourself as Kenma only managed to hit his arm.

"Crap"

"Hey you can't make hitting me a game" Kuroo protested.

"Just did, pigeon boy"

"The disrespect"

"You guys need to do anything today?" Kenma asked, lying back down under the covers followed by you getting cuddled into the blanket too.

"Budge up"

Kuroo managed to bully his way into the bed and cuddle up too.

"Why don't we go back to the swimming pool? We could get some food and stuff"

"Hmm..." Kenma didn't seem convinced, "another day"

"Next weekend?"

"Yeah sure"

————————

"I don't think I wanna smoke tonight- don't wanna ruin the vibe like last time" you joked, "besides, I'm pretty buzzed from the alcohol"

It was already pretty dark and you guys were planning on either pulling an all nighter or just sleeping in the abandoned building.

"Oh don't worry- I got it from my usual guy and they're weak"

"I told him not to make it as strong as usual since we're drinking" Kenma added.

"...ok- guess it won't hurt"

You did the usual- sitting and smoking, trying to inhale everything you could to get a buzz.

_Huh...._

_They said it wasn't strong but-_

_It feels kinda strong_

_It's probably because I've just been sat down for a while- maybe I should go get some fresh air soon_

The boys watched your state worsen over the next half an hour until it reached a point where they both realised would you were too hazy to think properly and weigh pros and cons of any situation.

Kuroo continued to giggle with you over stupid things as Kenma smiled and occasionally laughed along.

"This feels great" he laughed.

"I know! I wish it was like this all the time- it's great" you obviously hadn't realised how slurred your sentence was.

"Wanna feel even better?"

"How?"

"I got something for ya"

"Oooo! What is it?"

He didn't reply, instead he reached into his bag and pulled out a small plastic bag of white powder.

"I-oh...oh..."

"You wanna try?"

"Isn't that stuff dangerous?"

The boys winced at the concern- they would've thought by now your mind would be blurred enough to do anything- although it didn't seem like they'd have to do much convincing.

"No- I do it all the time" he joked, "I live off the stuff"

"Oh..."

"Honestly it's insane- weed just doesn't do it for me anymore. I mean, it's expensive shit but worth it"

"Oh...."

Sensing your hesitation Kuroo decided to act first by pulling out his key and scooping up some of the powder.

You were obviously shocked- watching the usually nerdy, sportyboy snort such a strong drug. It showed as well as you watched him in awe.

"Ah! Kenma you having some?"

"Y-yeah" the boy was nervously trying to play it cool as he began to angle his phone and get ready to record.

"(Y/n)?"

"Yeah" you nodded.

He turned to you almost immediately and shoved the key into the bag.

"Don't breathe and when I say so sniff in really hard" he instructed.

"Oh this is scary" you giggled.

"Now" he carefully held the key below your nose with his spare hand underneath the catch any falling powder.

You snorted up the cocaine, feeling Kuroo pinch your nose after.

"Here-" he ran his finger through there bag and raised it up to you, "show me your teeth" he said, rubbing his finger against your gums.

"suck my finger"

"What?"

"Just suck"

You followed his intrusions and winced at the bitter taste.

"Ew!"

"Yeah- it doesn't taste great" he smiled, "feel it on your gums yet?"

"Oh yeah...it's like numb" you announced in giddy amazement.

"Should we go down to the pool?"

"Yeah sure! Letsss goo!" You tripped up while trying to get out of the booth but carried on anyway.

"Where the heck did you get that?" Kenma whispered as both boys followed slowly behind.

"That sketchy guy that hangs out near the river. Had an old mutual friend"

"Why the hell did you do it? That's a class A drug"

"Don't worry, I blew it out and didn't sniff hard, I'll be fine"

They watched you struggle towards the stairs while still discussing their plan.

"Is it happening tonight?"

"Yup"


	20. Said and done {20}

"Where'd Kuroo go?"

"I think he had to go see a friend quickly"

"Ohhh ok" you whispered, "I really can't walk straight right now" you hiccuped.

"I know"

"Oh I'm sorry- please don't bring this up when I'm sober because I'm gonna be so embarrassed" you continued, laughing and stuttering.

"How's everything been? Has that guy been bothering you much?"

"Huh.." you sighed, "kinda. It's not as bad as it used to be but y'know...it's still happening..."

"I'm sorry something like that is happening to you"

"It's ok- besides, you and Kuroo have been really great to me... I don't think I've thanked you both enough for that? If it weren't for you guys I don't even know what I would've done with myself. Things like this are terrifying and if I was constantly exposed to it and felt under threat it might have been too much for me..."

"Hmm" he hummed in response, watching you fondly as you danced around freely.

"Huh...I'm getting tired-" you slumped onto the floor in a sleepy state.

"Tired? Oh- uh, do you want another key?"

"Hm? Why?"

"We're not high yet and if you fall asleep we can't mess around or go anywhere"

Kenma received d a hiccuped reply of 'yeah, ok then" from you.

"Ok..." he nervously sighed, reaching into his pocket.

"Did you get some too?"

"No, Kuroo left it"

"Oh"

Now came the tricky part as the smaller boy had to replicate what Kuroo had done earlier. He plucked his key out of his pocket and opened the bag, scooping some powder out onto the end.

"Woah Kenma, shake some off" you giggled.

"Yeah....sorry"

His hand was noticeably more shaky than Kuroos as he lifted the powder to your nose.

Within seconds you'd inhaled it and he was lowering the key as you pinched your nose, replicating what Kuroo had done last time before letting out a drunken giggle.

"O-oh, Um, teeth"

"Huh? Oh" you realised what Kenma was referring to when you saw him dip his finger into the tiny bag.

He followed in tetsurous footsteps and ran his finger over your gums.

"S-suck"

You complied, leaving him red faced and unsure of his next action.

"You want some?" You giggled with half closed eyes and a slur.

"I-I'll wait for Kuroo"

"Kenma? (Y/n)?"

"Speak of the devil" he smiled, turning around to to voice emerging from the darkness.

"Hey- this is Komi."

The teenager walked into the abandoned pool with a somewhat sketchy looking character following behind. He was definitely older than you all- not that you were aware. You were too out of it to even notice him.

"Have you got the stuff?" Kuroo turned to Kenma and waited until he handed him the small bag full of powder.

"Ok, how much was it again?" The man asked.

"Umm- one sec I'll double check" the taller boy pulled out his phone to 'check' while Kenma moved in next to you.

"Can I see your phone?" The third year requested off of the guy, still holding the bag of drugs.

"What why?" The random man pulled his phone away quickly.

"Oh my god...you're (y/n)'s stalker?!" Kuroo shouted in disgust.

"What? Hey buddy, I don't want any trouble- I came to buy my stuff then I'm gone-"

"What?" You whispered.

"He's got photos of (y/n) on his phone- it's him!"

"(Y/n) didn't you say he was threatening you?" Kenma asked.

"What are you guys fuckin' talking about?! I'm leavi-" Kuroo restrained the man quickly, holding his arms behind his back to stop his from fighting or reaching for any weapons.

"What? I wanna go- call the police I wanna go home-" you begged Kenma.

"He's got a fucking knife!" You heard someone shout.

_Shit_

_This is dangerous_

_This is really fucking dangerous_

"What?! Stop! I want to go!" You screamed out.

_Shit_

_Crap_

_I'm too messed up to defend myself-_

_Fuck!_

"Grab it! Get the knife off him! (Y/n) take it!" You barely registered anything before a knife was shoved into your hand from someone.

"Hey! What's with the fuckin' knife?! You guys think you're gangsters?!" The unfamiliar voice roared.

_I can't even see straight- I can't be trusted with a knife._

_What if I stab myself?_

_I can't see..._

_My heart- holy shit_

"(Y/n)!" You felt Kenma behind you, trying to calm you down as Kuroo argued with the man, "hold the knife out! He's gonna kill you if you don't!"

"What?! No! Stop please!"

"(Y/n) hold the knife straight!" Kuroo bellowed before he ran at you with the man infront of him.

Kenma helped you steady your hands to make sure you could stab him- and it took you a while to realise what happened.

"He's on me! Kuroo help!"

You looked up to see the man breathing heavily above you before Kuroo pulled him back.

"....you stabbed him...." Kuroo whispered.

".....what...."

"You stabbed him..."

"N-no I didn't......no I didn't...." you frantically denied.

"Oh my god....(y/n)...." Kenma whispered from behind you as he carefully let go of your hands, leaving you grasping the bloody knife.

"Crap....what do we do?"

You stumbled back in horror as your blurry eyes somewhat started to make out the knife in your hands.

Kenma moved quick to pick up the knife once you dropped it in horror and fell to the floor.

"(Y/n) stay calm- it's ok"

You curled up into a ball and tried not to fucking freak out and payed no attention to what the boys were doing.

Kuroo struggled against the man but managed the wrestle him to the floor and rest against his back.

"Knife" he whispered to Kenma who passed it to him.

The shorter boy walked towards you as Kuroo delivered a quick stab to the groaning mans throat before getting up and moving back out of all the blood.

"(Y/n)?"

"Oh my god....no....no....what's going on?! Stop! It didn't happen- I didn't mean it! I didn't want to-"

"Calm down (y/n)-"

"We should check if he's alive, (y/n) can you feel for a pulse?" Kenma asked.

"Oh my god....Kenma I'm fucked up i can't even see-"

"Just do it please!"

You crawled towards the man, not yet noticing the growing pool of warm blood on the pool floor.

"Where's he hurt?" You asked.

"I don't know, check him"

"Wait, (y/n) you hold the knife, I'll move him" Kuroo volunteered, handing the bloody weapon to you.

"Guys...what the fuck- what the fuck are we gonna do?"

"Just relax (y/n)"

"I can't!"

You kneeled over the man, noticing all the blood as Kuroo stood , walked away and rubbed his face.

"Let me check" Kenma said, turning on his phone flashlight to see the mans injuries.

You didn't know, but within those few seconds he'd completed a vital part of their plan.

He had a video of you holding a knife above a dead man.....

"He's dead"

"No..."

"You killed him"

"I-I didn't mean to!"

"Hey, hey" Kuroo cooed and kneeled down to your level, "it's ok...calm down. We need to sleep and sober up first before we do anything...."

"Kuroo" you choked out, "d-did I just kill someone?"

"....(y/n), please just do as I say. We've gotta take care of this properly now...


	21. Morning {21}

"(Y/n)" a soft whisper came.

"What" you snapped in a croaky voice.

"C'mon, get up. We've gotta deal with this-"

"Deal with what?"

_Oh god I'm tired-_

_I'm probably still a little drunk-_

"(Y/n) please- oh my god! We don't know what the hell to do!" The voice (Kuroo or Kenma, you couldn't quite make out of care to distinguish) was hurried and hushed.

"Hm?" You rubbed your eyes and sat up. You'd been sleeping against the wall- someone must've dragged you out of the school.

"What do you want?" The two boys were kneeling down to your level as the harsh morning sun burst through the dirty glass and exploded down to you.

"L-last night..."

You thought over the night before-

"No" you shook your head in disbelief at the sudden memory that crawled back into your mind, "no- wait( what happened? I didn't-"

_No_

_No- I'm making it up_

_That didn't happen_

_It can't have happened-_

_No_

_There's blood on my clothes_

_There's blood on my hands_ -

"What happened last night?!" You bellowed again as the boys looked away nervously.

Tired of waiting for a response you stood up- immediately feeling dizzy but still stumbling forward in desperation.

_Please say I'm wrong_

_Please say the drugs fucked with my memory-_

_Holy shit!_

_I did cocaine...._

_They let me do cocaine-_

_What the fuck happened..._

Suddenly the drugs were the last of your worries as you neared the edge of the pool to see a figure, face down and pooled in dried up blood.

_No....._

_Fuck...._

"(Y/n) don't cry-" they were fast to notice you drop to your knees in fear and sob.

"I- I -I" you couldn't even get the words out over your sobs- Kuroo rushed to cuddle you and Kenma must've stood back.

"We can.....crap- we've gotta hide it" you heard the smaller boy say.

"Calm down (y/n)-"

"Kuroo I fucking killed someone! I-I k-" you stopped yourself, trying to steady your breathing again.

"Why don't we say he attacked me and it was in self defence-"

"You wanna go to the police? There's a man with stab wounds and three drugged up teens- you know that we look fucking guilty right?"

_We could lie-_

_What if the lie doesn't hold?_

_What if I crack? Or slip up?_

_Then they'll send me to jail-_

_No._

_I can't go the police_

_I can't go to the fucking police am I dumb?!_

"I know" you mumbled, biting at your fingernails and turning away with tears eyes.

"Listen- all we have to do is hide him and make sure no one finds him-"

"Did anyone know he was here? With us?"

"No"

"Ok...ok..."

"How...how are we gonna move him?"

A moment of silence hung thick over you all.

"There's no blood on me- I'll go to a DIY store and get some stuff..."

"Get some clothes for us all too- we've gotta burn these ones. And a sheet for him" Kenma added.

"Ok yeah- sure. You two wait here and make sure no one finds him"

"Ok"

He wasted no time in rushing off despite how traumatised he looked. You were all terrified.

"I didn't ever think-....I...how did-"

"We're in a messy situation" Kozume sighed, walking up to you and slinking down next to your shaking frame.

"Yeah...w-what actually happened? Did he attack me first? Who is he? How did he get here?"

"He was gonna buy some stuff from Kuroo...you started shouting about how he was your stalker and freaked out. We had a knife on the floor from trying to start a fire and you just...you just took it and went at him..."

"......he could've been innocent- he's probably the wrong guy! I...I killed an innocent man"

"(Y/n) please- we were all high"

"We were all high but I'm the only one that killed someone!"

"No Kuroo joined in too- must've been the cocaine...."

"He did?"

"After you went at him Kuroo just attacked him too- must've been an instinct sort of thing to protect you"

"Oh...we...we messed up...we messed up bad..."

———————————

"are you sure he's dead?" You whispered.

"Yeah"

"What about his clothes? Won't they have our fibres on them ?"

"Probably....we'll have to get rid of 'em"

"Yeah..."

The silence hung heavy both you and Kenma stood still, starting at the corpse at the bottom of the pool.

"What about our dna under his nails or in his hair?"

"I suppose we could put him in water...that'll get rid of all the dna...or just clean him up. Let's see what Kuroo comes back with"

"Yeah...I suppose...w-what if someone finds out?"

"How anyone gonna find out?"

"I don't know...w-what if we mess up or there's CCTV somewhere or-"

"Then we're fucked- so we've gotta make sure we do everything properly"

————————

You'd got to wiping up the blood and bleaching the floor while the boys undressed the man and rolled him in an old blanket. Trying your hardest not to look at the boys, you made quick work of clearing the blood- but you could still see the pale stiff limbs being stuffed into the blanket.

You scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed even though the blood was gone.

_No DNA_

_there can't be any evidence_

_Scrub it all_

_I'm not a bad person_

_I didn't mean to_

"We can re-clean it here later (y/n)- lets just focus on getting rid of him" Kuroo said, "the car isn't far, help tape him up and then we'll take him to the car"

_I wonder if it was me or Kuroo that actually killed him..._

_Either way, we're all in deep shit..._

——————————

"It's fucking heavy" You helped heave the corpse down the stairs and towards the car. You almost rolled your ankle numerous times before just letting it roll down the steps.

_Don't let your emotions get the best of you_

_Try to stay calm_

_I need to do this_

_I need to do this if I want to live my life normally_

_It was an accident!_

_It's not the same as a murder..._

_I didn't mean to_...

Silence was heavy as you all picked him up again and made your way to the car.

"Just shove him in the trunk-"

Thankfully you didn't actually have to see the man anymore- he's been taped up in a blanket but...he was still there.

_I can't even remember his face..._

"Where....where are we taking him?"

"We cleaned him pretty well- I say we bury him"

"Ok...yeah..."

"We need to get him far away....as far away as possible so we can't be linked to it..."

"Where are you thinking?" Kenma asked the other boy.

"Out of Tokyo"

"It's Saturday right? We have today and tomorrow to fix this..." you mumbled along.

"We drive until we get somewhere isolated then we ditch him. First you need to get changed...you've both got blood on you"

Both you and Kenma looked down to your muddy, bloody clothes.

"Did you get us any?"

"Luckily for you there was a thrift store nearby- unluckily for you the clothes were gross"

"Oh god..."

——————————

"Were there no pants in the entire store?"

"The only ones they had were bright red and flared...I got you tights too though"

"Thanks"

You looked down to your outfit- some worn out boots, black tights, a floral skirt and a tank top.

"No jacket though?"

"Of course there is! Hmm, this one is yours-" he handed you a large brown kinda fluffy jacket. It was made from a material that was equal parts itchy and comfy.

_Obviously a mans-_

"They didn't really have any in your size...not ones that'd keep you warm anyway"

Kuroo had snatched up a pair of jeans and an old band tee with a few holes in it while Kenma was left with a pair of shorts and a baggy Nike jumper.

"It smells. We smell"

"Yup"

"If you're both done complaining then we need to burn the clothes"

The small fire kept you warm in the cold morning air.

_This is not what I was expecting to do this weekend_

_We're horrible people_

_Even if we didn't mean to do it, I got so high that I did it anyway_

_I was out of control but I allowed myself to get like that..._

_I...I can't imagine why I'd just attack someone though..._

_It doesn't seem like me..._

"Right" just take charge, if I take charge then I might start to feel in charge again, "get in the car. We need to fucking go"

_This isn't just a bump in the road_

_This is a life_

_A murder_

_A crime_

_A crime that could put me in jail for a long time..._

_Maybe I deserve it- I'm just far to scared to admit that_

_I'm too selfish to ever turn myself in..._

_I can't ever admit to what I did_

"Buckle up and get comfy. Gonna be a long ride"


	22. Together {22}

_ I've always wanted to go on a road trip... _

_ I never thought it'd be under these circumstances though... _

"Hey, why are you slowing down? Hey- Kuroo- there's a fucking cop car-" you panicked. 

"Just chill out- if we don't act suspicious they won't suspect us" 

Your heart still thumped heavy in your chest.

"(Y/n) please just calm down and don't act weird or people are gonna know something's up"

"....sorry"

"Where are we going?" 

"Service station- we should eat and sober up before we...y'know..."

"But we're leaving the car out here-" you stressed as Kuroo pulled into a parking space.

"(Y/n), he's hidden, no ones gonna know!"

"....yeah..."

"Kuroo she's just scared" Kenma was the first to leave the car, slamming the door and then opening yours calmly.

"Come on"

"Thankyou"

You timidly walked away from the car, looking back a few times to make sure nothing looked suspicious. 

Realistically nobody would bother the car- but it didn't matter. You knew there was a fucking body in there...

"I always liked these places. My dad used to stop off at them when we went camping" Kuroo told you.

You wanted to reply but your anxiety held you down, forcing you into a terrified silence.

_ I killed someone _

"(Y/n)" Kenmas voice was smaller and smoother and seemed more personal when speaking to you opposed to Kuroos loud boisterous anecdote. He could see you on the verge of tears.

Then you felt a soft hand curl up with yours.

"We got this" 

He was wrong- non of you knew what the fuck you were doing...but he said it in a way that tricked you into thinking he could take care of everything.

———————————

"Kuroo you're such a pig" you sighed as he wolfed down a second hamburger in record time. The cafe he'd chosen was quite nice- comfy chairs and warm lights, very modern and chic. It kind of felt like three high schoolers wearing second hand clothes shouldn't be allowed in.

"Oink oink, lemme enjoy my food" he giggled.

You smiled slightly.

"You should eat (y/n)"

"Yeah..." you stared at the plate of food , not really wanting to eat at all, "thanks for paying by the way Kuroo"

"It's ok. You guys are lucky I had money or we'd be screwed"

"I mean that's no different to usual" you joked back.

"You guys done?"

"We've been done for half an hour" Kenma mumbled.

"Well then- we'd better hit the road"

Even walking out of the service station seems strange- everything seemed more airy than usual, like it was imaginary- or like you were part of a movie....

Well- it's not like you could expect to feel normal after what'd happened.

"Where'd you park again?"

"Over there-"

Your eyes darted to the old car- making sure it was exactly how you'd left it.

_ No police  _

_ No crowds of people _

_Seems good_ -

"Okay- lets go"

————————————

"Do you have any idea of where to go yet?"

"There's a village quite far out that we should get to in time. It has marshlands and a forest surrounding it and since it's local there shouldn't be too many people walking through it"

"What if someone sees us? How are we gonna get it into the forest without anyone seeing?"

"You can park up at the border and walk in. If you don't go on the main path you won't see anyone" 

"You sure?"

"Yeah- it's where I used to live before I moved to Tokyo" Kuroo revealed.

"Oh...ok, that's better than some random place I suppose. How far away is it?"

"We should get there at about 9:30pm. Then we can drive back and go home"

"I might have to take Monday off school..."

"Me too- I'm gonna be so tired by the time we get back"

—————————————

"God can we pull over for a bit? My heads fucking aching"

"Yeah. We probably should have waited for you to fully sober up to drive"

The car pulled up against a building as Kuroo rubbed his eyes.

It was times like this that you liked having the backseat as you could fully spread out and lie down.

There was a large car park just off the side of the road with a few stores dotted around. There was a general convenience store, a laundrettes and an old diner.

"I just need a little time to rest"

"Do you wanna nap? You'll be driving tonight so I can sit up front for a while if you want" you offered. It seemed only fair.

"Yeah please"

You waited for Kuroo to get out before climbing into the drivers seat.

"Thanks- don't let me nap for too long" 

"Why don't we go for a walk or check out the diner. You feeling hungry yet?" Kenma suggested.

"Yeah a little"

"Kuroo lock the doors before you go to sleep"

"Got it"

————————————

"So you had money and still let Kuroo pay?" You grinned.

"I only had a little change" 

You both sipped at your milkshakes watching as the rain began to fall.

"Ugh- I really am so jealous of your eyes. They're so pretty" you moaned in frustration.

He went a little red and you took the hint that he didn't seem to react well to compliments. He is a very pretty boy though, more feminine than Kuroo but still very handsome. Kuroo himself was very good looking- masculine and dorky. They were a cute couple. 

"Anyway, I've always liked being inside when it rained"

"Hm? Don't most people?" 

"Yeah but- it's always so warm and cosy inside and then you look outside and it's all blue and cold. I like the contrast of colours I guess"

The boy looked around the quiet diner and then peered outside.

"Oh yeah...it's orange inside and blue out there"

"Exactly"

"We should probably wake Kuroo up soon if we wanna get there at a reasonable time" 

"Ye-"

"No need for that kiddos" 

"Speak of the devil" you smiled, hearing his voice and watching him slide into the booth.

"You've awoken" 

"I have- oh! Give me some milkshake!" he started sipping at your drink with no hesitation.

"After the milkshakes we should probably go" 

"Yeah"

"Hey (y/n)?" The smaller boy inquired.

"Yeah?"

"You haven't spoken about your stalker in a while- is he still bothering you?"

"I stopped checking my phone so I don't really know. I turned of all the notifications and I think I'm just gonna block the number. After this I might tell the police that I don't need their help anymore....I don't want them snooping around..."

"That'd probably be for the best...you don't want them finding anything you're trying to hide"

————————————

"All of these houses are so pretty...it'd be nicer if it was sunny though"

You'd stumbled upon a tiny village in the middle of nowhere- it was surreal. Full of flowers and bonsai trees and fruit and beautiful traditional houses.

"Must be a nightmare during winter though- it's miles away from anything" Kuroo stated.

You let out a heavy yawn as the houses passed by.

"I feel so weird being so far away from home when it's getting late..."

"I know, it feels like a road trip or something"

You smiled. Watching the two boys in the warm streetlights that oozed through the car window was very calming- not to mention the beautiful scenery muted with the darkness of the night. The twinkling stars were hidden well but every once in a while a few would pop up behind the houses to surprise you. 

You were almost happy.

"It's creepier when there isn't any houses" you mumbled from the backseat. It was dim inside the car and even darker outside- not to mention the lack of streetlights along the isolated path.

"It's gonna be a whole lot creepier when we have to actually go into the woods"

_ Oh yeah _

_.... _

_ We're here to bury a body  _

_ We're here because there's a dead guy _

_ We committed a crime _

.....

Kuroo seemed to sense the awkward silence he'd casted over the car.

"Sorry- ignore me. I'm nothing but a  fly on the wall~"

And yet he managed to cheer you up almost instantly.

You laughed quietly until you felt the car jolt up awkwardly followed by a weird hissing sound.

" Fuck"  Kuroo whispered.

"What was that?"

"Um...."

"What was it?!" You yelled in a panic.

"I don't know...didn't sound good though" he said, "crap, I'm gonna have to pull over"

"fuck..."

Kenma sighed heavily.

"You can't get out and check it! It's dark and we're in the middle of nowhere!" You complained.

"We've gotta do something about it"

"Call someone-"

"Are you kidding? I don't even know where we are!"

"We could go back to that village and ask a local..."

"But the car...we can't just leave it here...someone could find him...."


	23. A lot {23}

"We're not splitting up- it's late and we're in the middle of nowhere. We stay together" you demanded, "no way! I don't wanna be left alone and I'd worry way too much about you both- it'd be making the situation more dangerous."

"Then we're gonna have to leave the car"

"Well" Kuroo stated, "it's unlikely anyone's gonna bother the car. How many people do you know that would stop in the middle of the night to check on a random car?"

"None"

"Exactly- so it'll be fine"

You bit your lip as you thought about everything.

_He's got a point..._

_People don't usually stop when it's late and isolated..._

_They'll probably just assume we've broke down-_

_Yeah...._

_It'll be fine..._

It had to be fine- otherwise you were all fucked.

"C'mon then"

All three of you began the trek down the dark road back to the village you'd passed through.

The trees loomed over you like stray cats eyeing up mice and the moon offered nothing but a delicate white film over the already muted streets.

In the ghostly light you almost looked transparent- all three of you did. More like a faint memory of the past cracking through another dimension to seep into the current realm.

"Wait- Kuroo"

"Yeah?"

"If we call someone that means that they'll come and check the car, right?"

"Yeah"

"What if they need to look in the trunk?"

"I...I don't think they will- they've got no reason to- it's probably something under the hood"

"But what if they have to take the car away for a while to the garage and they find him? What if they notice the smell or something?"

"...."

"She's got a point actually" Kenma stated, "we can't risk them taking the car and finding a dead body. We can't work our way out of that"

"We've gotta move him if we're gonna call someone" you demanded.

"Well where do we put him?"

"I don't know!" You spat, coming across as a little more of a brat than you meant to, "I-fuck"

They watched as you began shaking and tearing up.

"Why don't we go there, get the location, come and and think about it for a while. We're already behind schedule so we may as well just take our time so we don't make mistakes"

"What if we don't make it back for Monday-"

"We can always call into the school sick. Then our parents don't have to know- just stay your sleeping at Kenmas for the weekend or something"

—————————

"there's a garage-"

"Don't you have to go through your insurance people or something?" You asked.

"Depends- if it's just a tyre or something small I can go to the garage. Gonna cost me though...besides, I think i have to get instant cover anyway"

"It's closed though-"

"There's a BnB over there-" Kenma pointed out.

"Kuroos gonna be fucking broke-"

"It's fine- my great grandad just died so I've got enough to cover it" he stated in defence.

"I know but...shouldn't you be saving it or something?"

"No point in saving up if we do a sleazy job of this- I'll spend my life in jail so it wouldn't matter"

"....good point- BnB it is"

You approached the building named the 'Sakura Inn'- it seemed to have a pub downstairs with bedrooms upstairs.

The lights were on and from the distance you could see a few people stood outside smoking so you knew it was open.

Inside was just how you expected it- warm and speckled with drunken men.

Before you could do anything Kuroo had approached the bar, asking about the rooms. An old woman with severely bleached hair stood behind the bar, cleaning out some glasses while listening to Kuroo ask about rooms.

"We have a few rooms, what d'ya need?" She croaked.

"Um...." he looked back, "I don't wanna spend too much in case I need it for the car...." he mumbled, stroking his chin, "what's the cheapest you've got?"

"A room with a double bed”

"I'll have that for tonight please"

He handed over the money and she passed back a key.

"Up those stairs- look for the number on the key. Bathroom is at the end of the hallway"she said, turning away again to continue serving a drunken man.

"Thanks" he turned back, "we're gonna have to share a room, c'mon-"

"Actually I'm gonna go to the bathroom" you interrupted.

" 'kay, we'll wait out here for you"

You nodded, walking away from the boys and towards the rusted old door with the toilet sign on.

After coming out of the cubicle you stood still- trying to feel in the moment again.

The dirty mirror with an outrageous and obnoxious green light didn't seem to help- only making you feel further and further from reality.

  
You stared at the reflection- watching your face and trying to make sense of it all.

It was scary

This feeling of terror yet unawareness and confusion was so...scary

So, with a sigh, you opened the door and entered back into the pub.

That quiet rundown bathroom seemed worlds away from the lively place you'd walked into.

———————

"Are we on the third floor?"

"Must be- we're not on this one"

You all stumbled towards the end of the hallway where the stairs were before walking up them too.

You must've looked really strange- three teenagers in outdated clothes in the middle of the night sharing one room.

It not like you had room to care- there were bigger things to worry about.

"That's ours-"

The third floor was much smaller than the second- only allowing room for two rooms. It was in the attic- which meant you had those cute windows that you saw outside.

They kinda stuck out a little- giving a view to the rest of the village.

Kuroo wasted no time in opening up the door and getting inside, only to stop in front of the bed awkwardly.

"Smaller than I expected"

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

"Whatever. It'll do- I'm gonna get a shower now" Kuroo announced, leaving the key on the bed as he left to go track down the bathroom.

"I guess we're sleeping in our clothes then"

"Seems like it"

You slipped off your shoes and jacket, flopping on the bed, followed by Kenma falling next to you.

"I'm...I'm sorry about all of this" you teared up.

"Don't be-"

"I should be...I hurt someone and now you guys have to deal with it too"

"(Y/n)-"

"I think the worst part is I can't even remember it...I did something like that and I can't even remember"

"It's not your fault (y/n)"

"But it is"

"You've been through a lot lately"

"That's doesn't give me the right to do something like that"

"You were high and confused and scared- don't beat yourself up about it"

Kenma waited for his words to sink in but turned his head to find you quietly sobbing.

"I want it to go back normal.... everything's been so scary"

Then he did something very out of character- he leaned in to hug you.

"It's ok (y/n)- it'll be ok"

You slowly accepted it, hugging back and feeling strangely safe.

_A hug from Kenma..._

_It's unusual-_

_It's nice though_

—————————

You can't remember falling asleep- but obviously you must have. When you did wake up it was still dark and you were tucked into the bed with both boys squishing you into the centre.

"You awake?" Kuroo whispered.

"Yeah"

"You feeling ok? Kenma told me what happened" Kuroos cheek squished against his arm as he spoke to you.

"I'm...yeah, I'm feeling better"

"Good" the boy sat up and you realised he wasn't wearing a shirt.

You had to admit, he was a muscular guy, he looked good- especially in this lighting.

"You wanna smoke?"

"No thanks" you refused, feeling comforted enough while being curled up with Kenma.

"You mind if I do?"

"Go ahead"

He lit up the joint as you laid in bed and watched how his jaw moved in different ways as he inhaled.

"You mean a lot to me and Kenma y'know" he said, smoke puffing out of his mouth as he did so.

"You guys mean a lot to me too"

He simply smiled down at you as you tucked yourself into the blanket and further into Kenmas light grasp.

Slowly Kuroos large hand worked his way to yours and he held it tightly.

"Good"

He quickly leaned down, pressing a little kiss to your forehead, then kissing Kenmas right after.

"Get some sleep, you must be tired"


	24. Hide {24}

_What if someone found him_

_The police might be waiting downstairs-_

_What if they track us down_

_What if they towed the car_

_Someone could've stolen it_

_How am I gonna explain to my parents?_

_What will I say to the police?_

"(Y/n)" Kenma called.

"Hm?"

"You're thinking too much. Stop"

"How did you know?"

"It was written all over your face"

"Ah...sorry"

"Ya think they sell toothbrushes at that lil'convenience store? My breath fucking stinks-" Kuroo interrupted loudly while stretching and yawning obnoxiously loud.

"Go look- buy me and (y/n) some too"

"I'll try and pay you back for all of this when I can-" you stated, feeling bad for how much money Kuroo had had to fork out. It's not like you had money to just give away but it felt rude not to offer.

"Eh don't bother- I don't mind" he waved off the suggestion.

"Can we go get the car soon though?"

"Yeah, sure"

"What are we gonna do about him? Is it riskier to leave him in there of take him out and hide him somewhere else?"

"...I have an idea..."

———————————

It was nice to get a shower and brush your teeth- non of you had planned on the trip taking this long. 

Kenma showered first, you brushed your teeth. After he'd gotten out and changed back into the old clothes you hopped in to get a wash.

Although the idea of putting those clothes back on wasn't amazingly appealing it's not like you had any other options- bedsides, trying to focus on mundane activities like this was better than focusing on the situation.

After trying to numb down your emotions again you headed downstairs, seeing the boys already sat at a table.

The pub had a different vibe entirely during the day-missing the drunken men and harsh looking bar lady and instead featuring a few younger people eating breakfast and an old kinder looking man cleaning the tables off.

"(Y/n)- the food here is so good, you gotta try some! It's over there-" Kuroo pointed over to a table which displayed all breakfast options- the small man now stood behind expectantly with a little smile.

"Please help yourself- your friend definitely seems to be a fan" he joked.

"Yeah- you might wanna keep an eye on him or he'll eat all of it" you smiled, looking back at Kuroo who was still shovelling down food much to Kenmas horror.

After filling up your place you lazily walked back over, sitting down and trying yet again to decipher the intense change in the atmosphere.

The front door had been left open, allowing the sun and fresh air into the pub while allowing you a view out into the remote village.

Kenma simply smiled at you- you seemed tired.

You had dark eye bags and a look of shame and fatigue- but...he liked it? You looked rundown but beautiful in a roughed up way.

Kuroo was the same- tired and worn out- wearing tired out clothes and messy hair- honestly you three looked like you were on the run.

Typical runaway teens....

———————————

The cheap blanket was thrown over the body that was already tightly wrapped.

"Just sit on it or it'll look awkward!"

It was decided that Kuroo would go with the car while you and Kenma would stay with the body and 'hide' it.

Kuroo thought the best way to do this was to cover it in a blanket and sit on it- disguising it as some sort of cushion or chair.

Yes, it was smart- but extremely uncomfortable and mildly traumatising. You fiddled with the plastic bag that contained all of your new toothbrushes and a drink while trying not to think about the situation.

_I hate this_

_I can't_

_Im fucking sitting on it-_

_It's so disrespectful_

_I hate this_

_I hate myself_

_This poor guy_ -

"Oi- just over here!" Kuroo motioned for the truck to come closer so it could tow the car back into the village to be repaired.

You and Kenma were positioned far back enough so that conversation with you and the repair guys would be too awkward for them initiate- but it was still nerve wracking,

_Act normal_

_Act normal_

_Act normal_

"We really should've brought food with us" Kenma hummed.

_He can tell I'm nervous-_

_He's trying to take my focus away from the body_

Sometimes you felt like you could kiss Kenma- it's like he knew you better than yourself. He could easily read your emotions and handle it with ease.

"I know- buying stuff on the go is getting a little annoying at this point"

"Especially when were travelling with a pig like Kuroo-"

You couldn't help but giggle with him.

"We're going to the garage- I'll come and keep you up to date if it's anything serious" Kuroo shouted back.

"Sure thing"

_Ok_

_We got through it_

_They didn't suspect anything-_

"Do you guys want a ride back into the village? You can wait in the pub while the cars being fixed" the repair mans attention was now on you and Kenma.

_Shit_

"I-oh no thanks! We're fine- gonna have a picnic while we're waiting" you shouted back.

He shrugged, leaving almost immediately.

_Thank god_

_Thank fucking god_

——————————

It wasn't long before you and Kenma decided not to sit on the body- instead opting to lay down in the field of long grass and wild flowers.

Well- you opted to lay down- specifically on Kenmas lap as he tried to braid your hair in confusion.

"The pink flowers look nice"

"Are you braiding them into my hair?"

"I'm trying- the yellow ones fall out though"

Another car drove past, and you didn't pay it any attention until you heard the oh so familiar call of 'OYA OYA OYA'.

You sprung up from Kenmas lap to see Kuroo sat in the car.

"It's fixed?!"

"Sure is. Only took a few hours too!"

You couldn't even hide your relief- the sooner we can hide this thing the better.

Kuroo hopped out and opened up the trunk- then jogged to the body and lifted up one end- you and Kenma helped pick up the other end and stuff it in the trunk.

_Thank god this isn't a busy road-_

"Come on, hop in. We can't have anymore delays- oh, cute hair"

————————————

"Is she asleep?" Kuroo hummed.

"Yeah"

"Hm, she woke up early this morning"

"Really? Was she ok?" Kenma asked, picking the flowers from your hair as you slept soundly on his lap. He'd decided to sit in the backseat with you this time.

"She still seemed a little down and kept snuggling into you"

"Hm- it's really fucked her up then, huh?"

"Yep"

Kuroo slyly turned up the radio as he carried on speaking about you- just in case.

"I kissed her head last night, she didn't even flinch"

"Really? She was laying in my lap today"

"She's getting comfortable with affection"

"Yeah..."

"We might not even have to use the pictures" he lowly whispered.

"It's still good to have them"

"Yeah..... y'know- I think....I think I like it this way..."

"Huh?"

"If one of us had just asked her out it wouldn't have been the same...I like her being like this...it's like we're her only option"

"Yeah...I like it too"


	25. Bury {25}

"(Y/n)- wake up" a tiny whisper accompanied by a small hand shaking your arms awoke you.

"Hm?"

"We're here"

"Oh... I slept the whole way?"

"Pretty much" Kenma nodded, "I did too, it's only Kuroo that was awake really"

"Oh...where is he?" You asked, looking to the drivers seat to find it empty.

"He went to try and find somewhere that'd be quiet most of the time. It's dark but it's still a little early to be...Y'know"

"Bury a dead man?"

_Bury a dead man_

_A dead man_

_Murdered_

_I've got to hide the person I killed_

_His family won't know where he is or what happened_

_How selfish_

"Yeah"

You sighed again.

_I can't afford to get upset now-_

_If I make a mistake now then everything is fucked for all of us_

_Get a hold of yourself-_

_Numb your emotions until it's over_

The car door clicked open and you saw a larger figure get in the car.

"You're finally awake?"

"Yeah"

"Good, I thought we'd have to bury you too"

You tried to awkwardly laugh- you knew some people deal with situations with humour but you didn't find it funny.

_We can't joke about this_

_There's an innocent man lying dead in the trunk_

_Non of us have the right_

_We have to spend the rest of our lives trying to redeem ourselves_

"Kuroo, shut up" it seemed Kenma agreed.

"Sorry- just trying to keep a comedy factor"

The fact that Kuroo was so nonchalant about the whole situation baffled you- then again, he could be hiding his true emotions. He's the biggest one here and automatically assumed the kinds 'leader' role of the group- maybe he's just trying to keep a brave face.

He's probably freaking out on the inside too

——————————

"What time is it now?"

"2:48 am"

"We gonna do it now?" You asked blatantly- hiding the nerves you had with ease. It was raining now, dark and windy too.

"...yeah, now is probably a good time"

You'd suggested to do it- yet you still felt your heart drop when he accepted.

"Ok....ok...."

"I know where I'm going now- I'll carry the body but you and Kenma need to make quick work of digging the hole. We need it as deep as possible"

"Have we got 3 shovels?"

"Yeah, got them a while back"

"I'll carry them, you and Kenma handle the....thing"

Getting out of the car and into the woods as quickly as possible was a massive priority- although there was a field and a play park in between the woods and the houses, you still couldn't risk it. Nobody could see you from the window- but if anyone came investigating then you were in big trouble.

So, while stood in the rain- you decided to grab the shovels and wander into the woods- just enough to make sure you couldn't be seen.

Kenma and Kuroo heaved the body from the car, resting it on the floor behind the car temporarily until they closed the trunk.

_C'mon hurry..._

_What if someone walks past!?_

....

_Calm down- it's 2:40 am and raining, nobody's gonna be out right now_

The rain hit heavier as the boys lifted up the heavy object and made their way into the trees.

_It's getting really heavy-_

"Keep going down" Kuroo told you.

He led the way, commands of 'forward, left, right, down, left' were the only things you could hear above the bullets of water and crunching branches.

Their heaving breaths were becoming more and more apparent the longer you walked- it must have been about half an hour...or maybe....it was hard to keep track of time.

All you knew was that there was no sign of any other life anywhere and that you'd been walking long enough that your feet were sore. Also that you'd underestimated how fucking creepy it was- you had a single phone flashlight on occasion- other than that it was pitch black.

"There- we're in pretty deep now"

You turned, wasting no time at all in digging up the earth and passing the boys their shovels.

"It's raining pretty heavy now- gets rid of our scents if any dogs are used, it won't be as noticeable that the soil was disturbed either"

_That's good I suppose_

You didn't stop digging to reply though, hell bent on hiding it.

"You know it takes one person 6 hours to dig a grave by hand"

"How the hell do you know that?" Kuroo asked the younger.

By now Kuroo had decided to help dig, Kenma had picked up his shovel but still stood back a little.

"Grandad worked at a cemetery"

"Ok- well there's three of us, so if you get your ass in gear it should take 2 hours" you groaned, getting tired already from digging.

"C'mon, we don't have six hours so hurry"

—————————————

_I hate it here_

_It's so dark_

_I feel like someone's sneaking up on me_

_I hope we're alone_

The feeling of overwhelming dread hadn't seemed to have left your body.

"What time is it?"

"4:02 am"

"Should we keep going?" You pondered, stood in the hole that you'd all digged.

"I think this will be deep enough"

"Yeah....gimme a hand out" Kuroo had stood above you and Kenma, gauging the size of the hole as you two kept digging.

"Gimme your hand and I'll help you up"

He helped lift you and Kenma out of the hole, turning around to the body.

"Help me push him in"

This parts gonna be difficult...

Yet again, you had to hide your emotions as you got the work down and rolled the lump of blanket into the grave.

A shallow thump sounded throughout the wet woods and you all looked to each other.

"Now we've gotta cover him"

Shovelling dirt back into the grave was a lot easier than making it- infact, it didn't even take half an hour until the hole was filled and disguised.

Thank god for the rain or it would've been so obvious-

"...I'm so scared"

You broke.

"(Y/n)..."

"Hey, come on, its gonna be ok" the tall dark boy kissed your suddenly teary cheeks and engulfed you in a hug.

"He's right (y/n), we've done everything right- now we've just got to move on"

"C'mon, lets go back to the car-"

"I feel like I need to stay here"

"Nobody is gonna find him- and if they do they won't suspect us" Kuroo stressed.

"(Y/n)" Kenma softly spoke, pulling you lightly from Kuroos hold, "come on"

"It's not fair...how do I get to go back to normal and he doesn't- what about his family?!"

"Hey" the boys hand softly touched your cheek as he slowly rolled his thumb over your skin, "come on. It's time to go- we can talk in the car"

".....Ok....yeah, ok"

————————

The sky was a muted blue- the kind that only ever appears in the early hours of the morning when the world slowly starts to kick into motion again.

The veil of sapphire over the earth would usually leave you somewhat awe struck in a state of unbelieving- like reality was altered: but now...it seemed plain.

The world was waking up, and instead of waking up with it you just slumped through from darkness to light.

Everything seemed to just happen

You sat in the car without saying a word.

You called up the school to let them know you wouldn't be there.

The boys dragged you into a cafe and you just sat half dead, fading in and out of reality.


	26. Trauma {26}

_Am I gonna be able to hold it together at school?_

_What if my parents see the change in me-_

_I just want to sleep_

_And cry_

_I might break at school_

"Why aren't you in your school uniforms?"

"We got changed at (y/n)s house" Kenma explained to his mother as he walked into his house after the gruelling car ride.

All three of you made your way through the home up to Kenmas bedroom where you all sat in silence for a while.

Your sunken eyes burned in the fresh air and your throat closed up at the thought of what had just happened.

How the fuck did it even happen?

This wasn't something that was ever supposed to happen-

You're just a kid-

You're a normal fucking kid so how the hell had you wound up here?

"What happens now?" You choked out after the silence became too much.

"Nothing really..."

"We just...carry on as usual?" Kuroo suggested.

"I don't think I can do that" you blurted out.

"Why?"

"Are you telling me that that didn't effect you? Non of what just happened-of what we just did- effected you?"

"Of course it did but what else are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know...I just don't think it's gonna be normal again...and school tomorrow- how am I gonna be normal around everyone?"

"Just put on a brave face and go for it"

They watched the tears well in your eyes and begin to slowly roll down your cheeks.

"....I can't- I really don't think I can Kuroo" as your voice broke you turned your face away- not wanting to boys to see you sob so violently.

It not like they could comfort you either- whats done is done. Death is irreversible. The trauma you have to carry is permanent.

"What about his family? His friends? I-"

"(Y/n) you're torturing yourself by going over it like this" Kenma mumbled.

"I...I-I cant! This isn't who I am! I don't think I can deal with this"

A small, soft hand grasped yours and you looked up to see Kenma with a solemn face and Kuroo holding back tears too.

"It wasn't supposed to happen- but it did. It was an accident and there's nothing we can do about it now."

You nodded.

"C'mon, lets get you out of those clothes"

——————————

The thought of going home scared you more than going back to school.

At home you'd be alone- all by yourself with that horrid, evil memory hanging heavy on your mind.

You'd considered asking the boys to stay at your house but it may make you more susceptible to becoming emotional. But then again- if you were alone you might think about it constantly and get emotional anyway.

It was a lose:lose situation.

"Hey" Kuroo whispered, pulling you up to his chest as you all laid awkwardly on the bed to watch some cheesy comedy movie, "you feelin' ok?"

He waited patiently for a reply as you rested your head against his shoulder and snuggled in.

"No"

"Why?"

"There's too much going on for my head to handle. Especially when I go home"

"Huh? Why's that?"

"Obviously this whole thing, I still haven't really dealt with that creep and I've really neglected school and my parents are probably gonna want to speak to me because I've been staying out so much and I can't talk to them without freaking out and the thought of having to go back to school makes me physically sick"

"Woah....well, yeah...that's overwhelming"

"so you're worried about going home?" Kenma asked from the other side of Kuroo.

"Yeah"

"You could say your ill and want to go to bed. Then you could just stay in your room" Kuroos arm snaked round your back to start slowly stroking up and down.

"I don't want to be alone. Did it not scare you guys?"

"Scare us?"

"Yeah...I feel so...scared- like if I turn around he's gonna be there or like every time I hear someone I think it's the police...do you guys not get that?"

Both boys nodded in agreement with enough enthusiasm to tell you that they obviously hadn't been hit as hard as you with the repercussions of the violent act.

_Some people are more susceptible to trauma_

_Maybe it's because I'm the one who hurt him_

_Maybe it's my subconscious making me feel bad_

"You know you can stay here if you're scared of going home"

"She'll be alone in the spare room here though- so it's like the same situation" Kuroo stayed- setting Kenma up for his next suggestion.

"You can stay in here if it'd make you feel better. I'm always in my room and Kuroos usually here so it's not like you'd be alone a lot"

You thought carefully about the offer.

_I'd feel more comfortable with them_

_Atleast I can vent to them about what's happened_

_But my parents..._

"My parents are probably gonna want me home since I've been out all weekend"

"Say you need to stay here" he shrugged, "tell them we've got a real big project coming up and we're partners. They can bring you some clothes and stuff and you can stay here until you feel ready to go"

"...yeah...you sure you wouldn't mind?"

"Of course I don't"

It was easier this way.

When your parents came to drop off your things you played all happy and bubbly- it was only 5 minutes maximum. Then you could go back to reality.


	27. Kisses {27}

"I think I could actually murder someone"

"Same- I wouldn't give a shit"

The girls were joking but you wanted to turn around and strangle them. They'd brought up some random crime documentary then proceeded to live up to the quirky girl stereotype.

"I think I might be a psycho" she laughed.

_They don't know anything_

_Idiots_

_Idiots_

_Idiots!_

_Stupid girls with no idea what they're saying_

_Everyone thinks they're so tough until it comes down to it-_

It made you unbelievably angry for some reason- like they were trying to undermine what you had went through; of course, they weren't, they had no idea what you did, but it didn't matter to you.

Do they think you can do something like that and just move on?

_What the hell?_

_They think violence like that is something you can just forget?_

_They think the guilt is just something you can get over easily?!_

_Stupid teenage girls that think their capable of anything-_

_Idiots_

You sat the whole morning get more and more pissed off at nothing.

Even the bell ringing pissed you off-standing up and grabbing your bag to walk into the packed hallway of assholes you hated pissed you off.

You were just a walking ball of rage.

Infact- you would even go as far as to say you were being agressive; pushing others out of your way and intentionally smashing into people.

It was getting some of your anger out atleast- until you actually looked up to see who you were walking towards.

At the end of the hall stood two police officers stood patiently outside the principals office.

....

_Shit...._

_Shit-_

_Fuck-_

Your heart dropped and your breaths quickened.

_My chest feels heavy_

_Like it's filled with cement-_

You turned away- walking back up the hallway you'd come down and practically running outside.

_Fuck_

_Are they here for me_

_Are they coming to find me-_

_What if they want to interrogate me?_

_We didn't decide on a set story for the night it happened-_

You raced back inside the school through another door- not knowing where you were going- just carrying on walking to you didn't feel like a sitting duck.

The frantic actions caught the attention of few others in the school- you'd gotten a 'you ok?' comment from one teacher but other than that you'd avoided everyone's gaze. Apart from the two boys who watched you race outside and aimlessly stride past them.

"(Y/n)! Oi!"

_It's Kuroo_

_Shit_

_I don't-_

_Fuck_

_I can't breathe_

_My head_

_I can't move_

_It's shaky_

_I'm gonna die_

_This feeling is horrible_

_I can't breathe_

_What if they find me?_

_I can't_

_Atxk_

_Dnshka_

_Shit_

_Shit shit_

_Shit_

_Shit_

_Holy fuck_

_I'm gonna cry_

_I'm crying_

_I hate everything_

_Fuck everyone_

_I hate myself_

"Woah, (y/n)-calm down, holy crap" he hummed, grabbing your arm and pulling you back.

"There's police-"

"I know- they're here about some fight that happened this morning"

"Really? You sure?"

"I'm positive"

Kenma was a little behind but could still hear your loud sigh of relief.

"You're this freaked out because you saw a cop?" The smaller boy asked.

"I...guess I'm just not used to having to hide something like this..." you admitted, "my heads been a mess all day anyway- it was probably just building up"

They nodded.

Then the bell rang- you'd spent all your free time raging around the school on the verge of a panic attack.

_Just get it together (y/n), Jesus Christ_

"See ya tonight, don't worry too much" Kuroo jogged off to his next class while Kenma strayed behind.

"It's ok y'know. No ones gonna find out- you'll be fine"

"Thanks Kenma"

———————————

"He can actually be really affectionate"

"I feel like you're lying" you giggled while talking to Kuroo- both of you sprawled out randomly in the spare room of Kenmas house.

"Honestly he can! It's just with people he trusts- like, he kisses his really close friends on the lips"

"What?!" You shrieked, "Kenma? Kenma Kozume gives his friends smooches?"

"Yes!"

"You're such a liar!"

"I swear to god! He does!"

"Bullshit"

"He's probably not kissed you because he's scared- otherwise he'd be handing out smooches left right and centre"

"Scared?"

"Yeah- what if you smack him or something?"

"Why would I smack him? He's seen you kiss me before and I didn't smack you"

"True- but I kiss your forehead, Kenma likes lip kisses"

"Hmm- honestly I'd be more likely to smack you than ever even think about hitting Kenma"

"Asshole"

Your conversation was cut short by Kenma himself walking in with three cans of soda.

"You can un-pause the movie now"

—————————

Kuroo was snoring loudly- taking up most of the space on the bed while laying across various bags of popcorn and candy.

"Just push him"

"It's harder than it looks ya know" you stressed while trying, and failing, to push Kuroo along, "it's like he's cemented to the bed"

"Yeah- he can be a real lump sometimes..."

A glowing blue blanket cast from the TV laid across the tall boy as he slept peacefully.

"You can stay in my room then"

"Thanks"

From the blue glow of one room to the red glow of another; Kenmas room was lit up with loading screens and a warm lamp in the corner. Everything was neatly packed up- no mess anywhere to be seen.

"You think you're gonna be ok for school tomorrow?" He asked calmly, pulling back his blanket.

"Yeah...the first days probably the worst y'know....I'll be fine" you reassured both him and yourself as you slinked into the bed.

"If you don't want to go just say and we can probably work something out" 

"Nah, I don't wanna be a burden. I've just gotta push through it- it's just life now"

"I guess, but that doesn't mean we can't soften the blow"

"Maybe...hows it been for you? For Kuroo?"

"Well...Kuroo doesn't seem to be paranoia at all, it's more just the trauma of seeing something so violent I guess... I'm feeling...scared that we'll get found out"

"Yeah....same"

"It'll be ok though" he told you, "good night (y/n)"

"Night Kenma"

He wiggled closer to you, his face a mere inch from your own.

His eyes were something that never ceases to amaze you- the strands of colour and golden glare....breathtaking.

He inched closer, slowly and carefully pressing his lips to yours before closing his eyes to sleep.

_Oh_

_Oh my god-_

_Kuroo wasn't lying..._

_So Kuroos ok with it?_

_What the fuck.._.

You hated how warm and fuzzy you felt afterwards- knowing Kenma had a boyfriend- and knowing that that boyfriend was Kuroo.

It didn't matter though- that could be your little secret.


	28. Weird {28}

"I swear to god if I have to spend one more day listening to a bunch of quirky teenage girls claiming they're capable of murder I might actually jump out a window"

Kuroo laughed with you as you watched calmly out of the car window.

"See the trick is, you've gotta out-quirky them"

"Oh really? How'd I do that?"

"Oh I'm glad you asked my sweet potato- next time they bring up murder- you've gotta turn around and choke em'"

"That's not quirky it's just violent"

"For the record (y/n), non of Kuroos plans will never be worth following" Kenma added.

"Hey! I make good plans!"

"Sure"

Silence fell over the three teens. The hum of the car engine became louder and louder as you passed by the familiar surroundings.

"It's not like I would've expected it to be" you mumbled after a while.

"Hm?"

"The whole....thing"

"Oh...how?"

"I don't know...I guess I didn't expect everything to effect me so much- well- I knew something like that would be traumatic but...I....maybe the fear was unexpected? I feel like everyone's so used to seeing murder and blood on TV that they underestimate how brutal and terrifying it is to go through something like that. People understand that finding a dead body is traumatic but because of how everything happened with us I guess people just seem to dismiss how horrible is it for our mentality"

"People?" Kenma inquired.

"Well, not people- nobody knows it happened but I have to listen to people talk about situations like that. People with no experience with these things talk about it to no end" you explained, "even me...I guess I was naive to the trauma and impact it would have on me."

"I understand that mindset to be honest" Kuroo agreed, "if you told me I had to watch one of my friends get murdered then I could grasp how much it would upset me, but with this I just didn't know what to expect. They're both violent acts but one seems to be more understood"

"Yeah...people just don't usually expect murders to have any empathy though..."

"It was an accident" Kenma reminded.

"And somehow that makes it worse" you whipped, "Sometimes I can block it out but other times seeing the body and burying him replays over and over in my head until I feel sick"

"Oh..."

"I think I'm through the worst of it now though" you sighed, "anyway, moving on- I think my shoulders gonna fall off"

"I don't think we can be friends if you don't have shoulders" Kuroo stated,

"What?! What do shoulders have to do with friendship-"

"You'll just be a..." he fumbled over his words while trying to find the right one, "...blob?"

"I'm going to punch you one day"

—————————

"What did you do with the knife?"

"Cleaned it and buried it like halfway through the car journey" Kenma said.

"Oh..."

"You need to stop stressing over it. It's done now. It's over"

"Hm.." you lowly agreed, "where are my pyjamas?"

"My mom took them to wash"

"Crap, they were the only ones I packed"

"You can borrow some of mine"

"Thanks"

"C'mere"

The smaller boys pulled you close, laying out some spare clothes on his bed and pulling up your shirt without hesitation.

"Woah-"

"What? You said your shoulders were hurting" he calmly explained, still holding up the shirt.

"Oh.."

"It's fine, I should've asked before just trying to help"

"It's ok" you instantly soothed, seeing the rejected look on the boys face.

At this point you weren't really uncomfortable getting changed in-front of him so you just did it right there.

_That was a little weird-_

_All of the kisses and touches and things..._

_Maybe he likes me?_

_No-_

_He's just...weird_

_Kenmas a little bit of a weird guy_

_He's gonna do weird thing-_

_Therefore, it's not that weird that he does weird things_

_....right_?

You turned to look at him after pulling down the shirt.

_He's almost always got that blank stare_

_Like he's not fully being honest..._

"(Y/n)"

"Yeah?" You replied with a smile after realising you might have been looking at him a little too long.

"...I need to tell you something"

"Hm? Sure, go ahead"

"....." he took a deep breath like he was preparing himself.

"I like you"

_What_?!

"Bu- I...you- Kuroo-" you barely stuttered out any words until you just spat out the one thing on your mind- Kuroo.

"Kuroo?" He repeated.

You nodded with a dumbfounded look on your face.

_Is he trying to cheat on him?_

_Did they break up?_

As usual Kuroo had burst through the door after going home and changing out of his school uniform.

"So dingbats, today I think we should go out and do something"

"....."

He was met with unexpected silence which kind of threw him off.

_Shit_

"What's going on?" He looked to you in hopes of an answer.

"I...I-I"

"Well...?" He inquired further.

"I'm going to get a drink" and with that, Kenma left the room.

_Shit fuck ass_

_Fuck crap_

_Shit_

_What the fuck?!_

"(Y/n)?"

Kuroo suddenly stood taller, looking down on you with ease.

"What happened?"

"Um...I- um... d-did you and Kenma break up?"

"No, why?"

_FUCK THIS ENTIRE SITUATION_

_What if Kuroos flips out?_

_What if he blames me-_

"Um-"

"Oh-" he suddenly butt in, "he told you how he feels about you didn't he?"

"....yeah....you're not mad are you?"

"What? No- I mean, we agreed to do it together but whatever" he shrugged.

"Huh?"

"Well- let me try and catch up. Kenma confessed that he liked you, you freaked out and in turn freaked Kenma out then I came in and Kenma ran off- sound about right?"

"Yup"

He sighed, opening the door to call for Kenma who came in shyly without the drink he'd claimed to go and get.

"So...what's going on?"

"We uh..."

_Wow, I've never seen Kuroo this nervous before..._

"So we like you and uh...wanna date?" He shrugged with a weird little pout while scratching the back of his neck. Kenma stood behind him, peering cautiously out to gauge your reaction.

_Huh_...

"Is....is this a prank?"

"No, shithead"

"Oh....it's just unexpected" you blurted out, not knowing what to say.

"Really? Really? You didn't expect this even just a little bit?" The taller boy asked in scrutiny,

"Ok, maybe a little bit" you admitted, "but...I just- Ugh- like, maybe-....both of you? So it'd be like.... a three way relationship?"

"Precisely"

_I mean...I'm going to say yes_

_I like both of them_

_But I can't just say yes_

_I mean, I can_

_But should I?_

"But...i-if we do date...things aren't gonna change are they?"

"Hm?"

"We can just carry on like normal right? Oh god I don't know, I fell like I'm gonna be the awkward one now because I don't know how to act-"

"Just say yes or no- if you want to them we can just go with the flow, if you don't want to them we can just go back to normal"

"....I Uh...yeah, ok...I like you both too"

His eyes widened as he listened to your quiet confession.

"Really?"

"Yeah"

"Fuck yes!" Kuroo had dragged both you and Kenma onto to bed for a huge bear hug.

"Ow!" You giggled, watching the boy get excited over your words.

"Oh god- that's a relief"

Kenma threw a pillow onto your stomach before crawling up to it to face you.

"I'm happy you said yes"

Yet another one of Kenmas soft kisses was planted into your lips- this time you smiled into it as Kuroo watched.

"Me too-" Kuroos kiss was brash and haste and he pulled away much quicker than Kenma did. Maybe he wasn't as sure of himself as Kenma was.

"Anyway- save the smooches for later, you've got to study or you're gonna fail this test" the tall boy reminded.

They sat up to go study, leaving you red faced and biting your lip in glee.

_They like me..._

_They actually like me..._


	29. Mad {29}

_Was that the right decision_

_It feels like I've made such a big decision-_

_It was pressuring with them both there_

_I don't know if I'm ok with it-_

_I'm freaking out now_

_The labels make it more real_

"What's up?"

"..."

"You ok?"

"Yeah..." you hummed.

Kuroo peered at you questioningly.

"It's about me and kenma, isn't it?"

"What?"

"You're thinking about the whole dating thing, aren't ya?"

"....a little"

"You regret it?"

"N-no it's just..." he stared you down with hooded lids, almost scaring you a little, "can...can we just not label it? Why don't we see how it progresses instead of just deciding everything now?"

"Hm" the tall boy closed his eyes and leaned back, seemingly soothed by your revelation, "sure. Me and Kenma don't really use labels because we don't tell anyone"

"Yeah...you wouldn't tell anyone about m-me being involved would you?"

"I'd prefer the keep things quiet; Plus that'd totally out me and Kenma"

"Yeah, thats true"

"You want to come to volleyball tonight instead of just waiting in the car"

"Ughhh-"

"(Y/n) it's not that scary"

"I don't know any of them"

"Get to know them" he argued, "you don't have to talk to them, just say hello and sit down"

"I don't know"

"Are you seriously going to let your social skills make you sit in a car, alone, in silence instead of just coming with us?"

"Yes?"

"No"

————————————

"(Y/n)'s gonna watch today because I give her a ride home, that ok coach?"

"Yeah sure"

Kuroo turned to look at you with a smug expression.

"Smack the ball off of his face today please" you and Kenma snickered.

Although most boys were practicing already, meaning you could slip onto the bench without much detection or any conversation, you definitely noticed one boy in particular staring a little too much. Every now and then he'd glance over- try to show off or shout a little louder than the rest.

_Eh_

_Weird but harmless I guess_

_If anything's it's just uncomfortable_

Seeing the boys play was actually very entertaining.

It became clear how they kept so fit- the constant jumping and running looked intense. Even watching how Kuroo and Kenma worked together was interesting- not to mention trying to figure out the personalities of the rest of the team.

Time passed by quickly and before you knew it the boys had began to pack up.

"Hi"

"...hi?"

"I'm Taketora" the boy seemed like a weird mix of confidence and utter fear. He had a self assured stance but an embarrassed blush too.

_Strange_

"I'm (y/n)"

"So you're Kenmas friend?"

"Yeah, I know Kenma and kuroo"

"Oh, really? How'd you get to know them?"

"I'm in Kenmas class"

"Oh cool...so you're a second year?"

"Sure am"

"(Y/n)!"

"Huh?" You turned to Kuroo.

"Me and Kenma wanna stay a little longer, is that ok with you?" He was throwing the volleyball around in his large palms while watching with an indifferent expression.

"Yeah, I'll just text my mom" Tonight you'd be staying at home for the first time in a long time. Your mom was obviously starting to become curious, so to throw her off you just decided it'd be easier to go back for a while, no matter how much you wanted to cling to the boys.

"Sure. Come help me" he ordered.

You awkwardly smiled at Taketora before walking away and towards Kuroo who kept watching.

_No way_

_Is Kuroo jealous?_

You became amused at the thought of someone like Kuroo being so petty over something as simple as a conversation.

_What a little baby_

Kenma and Kuroo got to practising spikes and you sat on the floor in the corner while the rest of the boys flooded out of the room.

"You wanna try (y/n)?"

"Sure- do I just smack it?"

"Pretty much"

Kenma kept quiet as he tossed the ball to you- watching as you jumped and hit it back.

Kuroo paced between you both- bois of his usual bouncy personality.

_Is he seriously that jealous?_

_He can't be-_

_I literally barely spoke to him_

_Maybe something else happened_

"Oh my god! Did ya see that?! I'm like a muscle man!" You squeaked at the ball smashed into the ground- obviously a lot less powerful than Kuroos spikes but a personal best.

"It was good"

"Thankyou Kenma~! Kuroo? Any praise for your favourite prodigy"

"Mhm" he hummed is dismissal.

Hm?

You frowned and turned to Kenma who offered no explanation.

"You ok Kuroo?"

"I'm fine"

"You sur-"

"You know what I think we should just go home now- it's getting late"

"Oh...yeah sure"

His entire demeanour was unnerving.

The car ride was silent, when they reached your house he didn't even bother spitting out a goodbye.

_What the fuck is up with him?_

_And why's he taking it out on me?_

It was bothering you to no end, you made small talk with your family but it was still at the back of your mind.

Meanwhile Kuroo was thinking over the same thing as he sat in his roomwith Kenma doing little to comfort.

"You knew you he was going to react" the smaller boy mumbled while playing his game.

"Doesn't mean i can't get pissed off about it"

"She noticed something was up with you"

"I don't care! In fact- fucking good! She should know somethings up with me!"

"You'll scare her off"

"So? All we have to do is threaten her and she'll shut her mouth"

Kenma sighed in response.

"Just...don't freak out right away, we've got a good thing going right now"


	30. Closer {30}

_He's back to his normal self again at least_

"The carnivals coming in a few days, you wanna go with me and Kenma?"

"Sure, sounds fun"

Volleyball practice went by smoothly- this time Kenma and Kuroo seems to fucking suffocate you- so much so that they got scolded by the coach.

_Everytime Taketora tries to approach they just swarm me-_

_This can't be jealousy_

_That amount of jealousy would be insane_

_Maybe Taketoras a weirdo?_

_Maybe they're trying to protect me?_

"Let's go lets go let's go!" Kuroo practically pushed you out of the door and towards the car.

"Did you eat pure sugar this morning?"

"I wish"

"Hey (y/n), hang out with us tonight" Kenma interrupted by grabbing your hand softly.

"Hm? Why?"

"I like it when it's all three of us"

_Oh my god he's adorable_

"Yeah sure, ill text my mom"

"Did you ever block that stalkers number?" Kuroo inquired.

"Yeah. I've been so much less stressed since I did it too- I wish I would've just ignored the police and done it straight away" you confessed.

"Thank his- you know sometimes I forget about how scared you used to be. It's nice that you're not as freaked out anymore"

"You're telling me" you laughed back, "it's like a weight off of my shoulders"

"Can I borrow some of your clothes when we get to your place?"

"Sure can"

"You still have my favourite hoodie" Kenma interjected.

"I have no idea what you're talking about"

Soon enough Kuroo pulled up in-front of his house, getting out and walking straight in.

"Ooh, we're at Kuroos house this time~"

"It's literally next door (y/n)-chan"

"Your house has a different vibe though" You smiled, treading in and taking off your shoes.

"Where is everyone?" You asked, instantly noticing the lack of noise in Kuroos house

"My dad took my grandparents out to this spa thing. It's was their anniversary- a pretty big one too"

"Oh cool"

"Are you staying over or do ya want me to give you a ride home later?"

"I'll decide later"

"My dad left me some money so we can't order some food later"

"They clearly don't have much faith in you"

"Yeah, they left for a week when I was a first year and I survived off of pure dry oatmeal"

"That is extremely worrying but not surprising- anyway- gimme some of your clothes to wear"

"just go up to my room and pick something out"

You began a little waddle out of the room and up the stairs, excited to get first pick of his clothes.

You decided on a bright pink sweater with an embroidered picture of Patrick the star in the middle.

_This is simultaneously the ugliest and greatest thing I have ever seen_

"Kuroo, I'm keeping your Patrick sweater!"

"The hell you are!"

Of course he made quick work of running up the stairs himself, busting open to door and picking you up by your waist.

"Kenma! Control this six foot ferret man pleaseeee!"

Kenma did very little to help- infact he just stride upstairs and flopped onto the bed.

"Traitor"

"Just kick him"

"Where'd you get this sweater anyway?" You laughed, "it's so ugly, I love it"

"Much like you"

"I'm going to punch you"

"Nahh" he smiled, sitting on his bed beside Kenma and sitting you on his lap. Kenma had already turned on the TV to some random channel so the room wasn't shrouded in silence.

Kuroos body completely blanketed yours, he had you pulled close to him so you could rest your head against his neck.

"Should we watch a horror?"

"Nah-"

You watched the way his jaw moved as he spoke to Kenma. You felt the way his chest moved as he breathed and how his arms would occasionally pull you in further.

_He smells so good_

_He really is good looking_

_You nuzzled further into him_.

——————————

After you'd tossed your pizza boxes into the trash you'd all cosied up in Kuroos bed. You laid in the middle, lying on your side and laying across Kuroos chest while Kenma held into you from behind.

The tv light cast a glow across Kuroos face and you couldn't help but stare at him.

His cheeks, his jaw, his eyes- his everything...

_I kinda wanna kiss him_

_How do I initiate that though?_

_Is it inappropriate_?

You started by pressing a little one to his neck, pulling away slyly and acting like nothing happened.

_What is wrong with me_

_Ugh, shut up_

_They're both technically, kinda my boyfriends?_

_It's still new to me-_

_I'm still kind of unsure about it-_

_But dammit if I want to kiss him then I'm going to kiss him_

"What was that for?" He whispered, turning his face away from the TV.

"Felt like it" you shrugged.

"Hmm" he nodded, thinking carefully before pulling you closer and moving in for another kiss.

_Oh wow_

_I'm still not used to kissing Kuroo like this-_

As soon as you pulled away he pulled you back in- this time holding the back of your head so he could deepen the kiss.

_Oh wow_

_Oh wowiwowowow_

He rolled you over so you had your back against the mattress where you sprawled out between the boys. His arms caged around you, trapping you underneath him where he could hold your face and kiss you softly.

_Oh my god_

_Holy shit_

"Kenma..." Kuroo mumbled while looking down on you.

The smaller boy placed his game down to the side, crawled slowly over to Kuroo and pressed his lips to his.

_Oh my fucking god_ -

Like he did with you, Kuroo deepened the kiss with Kenma while his long fingers slowly crept up your stomach, bringing the pink fabric with it and exposing your stomach.

"This stupid sweater-" you giggled out.

He stopped the kiss, looking down at you questioning with an open mouth.

"Wha- oh" he giggled.

Meanwhile Kenma snuggled up to you in the darkness- his fingers creeping under the sweater.

"Are you ok with this?" His low voice contrasted with the giggled that'd filled the room.

"...yeah"

Kenmas hands got higher and higher until he cupped your chest beneath the fabric.

Kuroos however snook further down, below your underwear and against your delicate skin. The boy somehow worked his way between your legs while Kenma pampered you in kisses and delicate touches.

Your heartbeat sped up and you started to panic a bit, frantically thinking over whether this was ok or not.

Both boys made sure to reassure you though;

"You don't have to do this"

"We want to make sure youre comfortable"

"We can stop whenever"

You carried on though, allowed them to strip off the oversized sweater and see you at your most vulnerable.

Kuroo promised to be careful, holding your hand with each thrust and cautiously watching your facial expressions.

You turned to Kenma, allowing your body to twist and contort in Kuroos rough grasp as he held onto you desperately. He'd grip onto you, then feel how fragile you felt- then instead switching to a gentle palm resting against your skin.

The smaller boy seemed just as nervous and embarrassed as you- watching how Kuroo pushed into your with a blush.

You toyed with his underwear for a while before pulling them down.

"Are you ok with this?" You asked him.

He nodded shyly, turning his face away as he slowly ran his hands through your hair and grabbed a fistful as you pushed yourself forward, connecting you to him.


	31. Bad mood {31}

"You coming tonight?" Kuroo asked as he locked the gym door.

"Nah, I think I'm just gonna go home and rest"

"Huh? Why? Is something wrong?"

"No- I'm just tired" you replied. Everything that'd went on surely took a toll on you and now your body was feeling the effects of it. You felt exhausted.

"Well you can nap and me and Kenma can just play games"

"Honestly, I kinda miss my bed"

"Oh"

_He did it again_

_It's like his mood just switches-_

"Is everything ok?" You asked him.

"Fine" he mumbled, walking away abruptly and not waiting for you to catch up. Kenma had left earlier to sit in the car while Kuroo and you stayed behind to clean up.

_What the fuck...?_

_Is this going to happen often?_

_God, am I already having second thoughts about this?_

The first time it happened you were understanding- maybe he got some bad news- but this time it was obvious.

He switched when you said you wanted to go home.

_Maybe he's only interested in the sex._

_Or maybe he's just clingy_

_There's still no need to be an asshole about it_

_What's his problem?!_

When you wandered for the parking lot you looked around to find Kuroos car- only...it wasn't there...

_No fucking way-_

_No way-_

_He left?!_

_He always gives me a ride home but he just left because I didn't want to hang out?!_

You practically seethed with anger as you began your walk home.

_It's on the way to his house!_

_He knows about the stalker-_

_It's just fucking rude!_

_Why is he acting like this?!_

You pulled out your phone and typed up a text.

To: Kuroo

From: (y/n)

Did you seriously leave without me?

What's up with u?

To: (y/n)

From: Kuroo

Didn't realise that I was obligated to be your cab driver

To: Kuroo

From: (y/n)

Why are you being such an asshole?!

To: (y/n)

From: Kuroo

I'm an asshole?! You're the one getting pissed that I didn't run around after you

You clenched you're jaw in frustration while reading the text he had sent.

_I don't think this is going to work out_

_He's never been like this before_

_If he keeps it up I'm dumping him_

When you eventually reached your house you met with your worried mother.

"Where were you? What took you so long?!"

"I walked home today"

"Oh, was Kuroo sick?"

"...yeah..."

————————————

You walked out of your house with the fresh morning breeze smacking you in the face.

Kuroos car was parked up against the curb and he sat there with a smile waiting for you to get in.

You just raised your eyebrow.

In fact your pride didn't allow you to get into the car, you just knocked against the window until Kuroo put it down to talk.

"Why're you here?"

"To take you to school?"

"Thought you weren't obliged to be my cab driver" you spat back.

"Aw come on (y/n) I was just in a bad mood"

"I noticed"

"Just get in- I know you don't want to walk"

"I do not want to walk" you announced while opening the door and getting into the back seat, "but that doesn't change the fact that you were an asshole yesterday"

"I was in a bad mood- you get bad moods all the time, it's not a big deal" he claimed.

You opened your mouth to speak only to be interrupted by Kenma.

"We're all on edge after what's happened (y/n)- we shouldn't be turning on each other for having confusing feelings. We tried to help you with your mood swings"

_My mood swings?_

_I didn't-_

_I was just scared_

_I never snapped at anyone!_

_I suppose that may be Kuroos personal way of dealing with it-_

_But why the fuck is he taking it out on me!_

_Then again, it's not like you can decide how it happens..._

You stayed silent for the rest of the car ride, mulling over everything.

_Yeah, it probably is him just being emotionally sensitive after everything but that doesn't mean I should shut up about it_

_But like they said...I flip out sometimes too and they let me..._

_Still- I've never put them in danger!_

_Apart from..._

———————————

You sat in the gym alone as the boys practised.

Unlike before, nobody spoke to you. Nobody even spared you a glance- you didn't expect them to honestly but it made time go much slower.

However, soon enough, practice had ended and everyone was leaving.

"(Y/n) c'mon"

"Coming" you toddled after the two boys.

"You coming over tonight?" Kenma asked, "...I got a new game and this levels really hard"

....

_Umm_

_Do I say no to make a statement?_

_Will it look like I'm giving in if I say yes?_

_But I'm saying yes to kenma- not kuroo...._

_But he apologised- if I keep holding a grudge I'm going to look immature_

"Uh yeah I guess"


	32. For the best {32}

It was actually Kenma who noticed first- Kuroo may be the more reckless out of the two but Kenma was definitely more perceptive.

_He's too interested_

_He watches her too much_

_His eyes linger too long_

_He hides it well_

He'd bring it up to Kuroo at some point- he just needed to make sure it was at the right time and place. Kuroo could get more wound up than he did and was far more likely to act on instinct. Unfortunately Kenmas plans were ruined one rainy evening in the changing room.

"So what's with (y/n)?"

"Hm?"

"You're in her class aren't you?"

"Yeah...?" Kenma cautiously answered, very aware of Kuroo changing behind the boys.

"Are you two a thing?"

"No" Kenma quickly denied.

"So, is she single?"

.... _fuck_....

He saw Kuroos body practically still as he tensed up and waited to listen in on the rest of the interaction.

"I don't know" he tried his hardest to seem uninterested.

Yaku shrugged, "I haven't seen her around any boys so I'd guess not"

That's when Kuroo joined in- facing the wall still with his voice low and taunting.

"Does our Yaku have a crush?"

He laughed in response.

"Some of us aren't planning on staying single forever kuroo" the boy playfully teased back- Kuroo laughing along with the joke.

He hoped it would just go away and that he'd be too nervous to act on it. He hoped that he gave up on the thought of ever dating you and that he'd go find another girl to crush on.

To his disappointment this didn't seem to be the case.

He made petty small talk more often than he used to with you during practice- he was completely oblivious to Kuroos raging stare as he chatted away with you.

Kenma could practically hear his thoughts

_What are they talking about_

_What is he saying_

_Why is she smiling_

_Shut up_

_Get away from her_

_(Y/n) come here_

_Come here_

_I need to get her away_

_I'll hide her away_

"Kuroo, stop making it so obvious" he whispered.

"Right" he grunted, eventually ripping his eyes away from Yaku sat next to you in the bench, "Yaku, help Lev practice!"

"Oh- gotta go"

You nodded at the boy who placed down his bottle and jogged away towards the others.

—————————

Kenma has been texting Kuroo on the journey home- giving him strict instructions on what to do.

Realistically Kuroo wanted to take you straight to his house and not let you go. After something like this he wanted to be with you and hold you and not let go-

Kenma wanted that too but he knew it wouldn't be a smart move. They dropped you off at your home and then left.

Although Kuroo was more outwardly aggressive about the whole situation- Kenmas emotions were building and building and weighing heavy on his heart and head.

He had always been the more insecure one, he was introverted and often feared himself to be boring; honestly he didn't realise how possessive he had become. It had turned from a crush to an obsession to an unhealthy fixation.

He thought the trauma would have caused you to be secluded enough- he wanted you to be alone, he wanted you to be isolated from everyone else other than him and kuroo....

Or did he?

Of course, he wanted that- but...his problem didn't lie with you.

It was the same with Kuroo.

They weren't mad at you- you'd done what they wanted more or less-

It was _him_.

_We've got control of her_

_But it's still not enough_

_To fully have (y/n) it seems we have to control the people around her too..._

——————————

"It seems Yakus taken a liking to you"

"Hm? He only really talks about classes and games" you replied, slurping on your drink.

Kenma had been told to stay behind during lunch for an extra study period, leaving you and Kuroo to roam the school.

"Is he...is he being ok to you?"

"Umm...yeah, why?"

"Ah- he just...something with Kenma before"

"Why? What happened?" You inquired.

You heard the boy sigh out in stress before lowering his voice.

"He used to really put Kenma down- messed up his self esteem and everything"

"What? Really?! Why the hell would he do that?" You shrieked, "he seemed so nice"

"Yeah...I think it was some sort of competition thing. If Kenma scored a point then he scored two, if Kenma won a game he'd win quicker, if Kenma had a crush then he'd make a move..."

"Oh...that's a shitty thing to do" you mumbled.

"I mean, Kenmas self esteem isn't great as it is so the fact that he'd rub it in only made it worse. But- if he's not being an ass to you then it makes me feel a little better atleast"

"Yeah..."

"Oh and (y/n), keep this between us- Kenma gets very embarrased about it"

"Oh, of course- no problem"

You nodded understandingly.

"But...you don't think- never mind"

"Hm? What?-go ahead" he prompted.

"I was gonna say he might be talking to me so much to get to Kenma but he doesn't even know about us"

"Well" Kuroo quickly quipped, "you're the only girl he's ever around...he's probably caught on that somethings happening"

You nodded while biting your lip.

"I'll try and keep it in mind...I don't want Kenma to get upset about it"

"That's probably for the best"


	33. Indifferent {33}

_Things are getting better_

_The paranoia still hangs thick in the air but it isn't as scary when I'm with them_

"You know what blows my mind" Kuroo stated matter-of-factly as you all laid around the room watching the TV.

"Realistically- (y/n) could end up on a show like this" he pointed to the documentary named 'women who kill'.

You didn't quite know how to react.

..... _what?_

_.....Is he trying to make a joke or something?_

_Why would he even say that?_

_I'm not like those women-_

"Most of these are manslaughter though" he piped up again, "you'd more than likely get 2nd degree murder" he laughed.

"Lucky we hid him then" Kenma finally spoke.

You know they didn't mean to- but it almost felt like you were under attack. You felt the sudden urge to defend yourself but also the urge to stay quiet.

_They're right..._

You fumbled over your own thoughts first- relentlessly defending yourself in your head.

_I didn't mean to_

_I'd take it back if I could_

_It was an accident-_

_I wasn't in my right state of mind_

The scene changed to that of an older women in tears- describing her heartbreak. In the corner there was a small text reading 'mother of the victim'.

_Victim_

_My...victim..._

_I have a victim..._

That wasn't a word you'd ever thought of using to describe the man you'd hurt- but it was true.

The boys watched you zone in and out- listening to bits of the show and then sinking back into a frenzy in your own head.

It seemed that you finally snapped when hearing the women detail their regret.

" _I didn't mean to_

_I'd take it back if I could_

_It was an accident-_

_I wasn't in my right state of mind"_

The women's words mirrored your own thoughts.

"Can you turn this off?!"

"Huh?" Kuroo asked, both boys turning to look at you- seemingly shocked at the outburst.

They shared a small glance which you took note of- they're mocking me, aren't they?

_They think I'm crazy, don't they?_

"Turn it over" you repeated, "I don't wanna watch it anymore"

——————————

"Is volleyball something you wanna do as a career?"

"Hmm" Yaku pondered, "I'm not quite sure yet, I think I'll just see how it goes. What about you?"

"Hmm...I don't think I'm sure yet either"

"Oh my god- LEV!"

You giggled as Yaku got up and sprinted towards the boy who was probably doing something stupid or dangerous- or both. 

They were stood- watching.

Kenma grimaced while watching the scene; She's never laughed like that with me. He wanted to scold himself- he'd never really been a jealous person so why now does his brain decide to spring this on him? He doesn't know how to deal with jealousy- he's never had to. He didn't like it though; not one but. It was like a growing anger that's bubbled in his chest and burned through his veins.

He hated it.

Kuroo kept a poker face- his eyes grew darker though. He was more familiar with these intense feelings- he's felt in extremes for a lot of his life; but still....this was...intense.

—————————

"I thought you said you'd avoid Yaku" Kuroo lowly spoke while packing up. Yet again, you three were the last to leave the gym.

Kenma was across the other side of the room so it seems Kuroo took that as an opportunity to bring up his concerns.

"Huh? No I didn't?"

He frowned in response.

"You literally said you'd avoid him out of respect for Kenma" Kuroo argued.

_What did I say?_

_I'm sure it wasn't that extreme-_

_I never said I'd stop talking to him_

_I'm sure I didn't?_

_Did I?_

_Maybe I got wound up in the moment ?_

"I just think it's a little insensitive"

"Insensitive? I'm only making small talk with him- it's the same with everyone else"

"It's not the same at all"

"How?"

"I already told Kenma that you said you'd avoid him!" He stressed, "he was happy that you'd care that much"

_But I didn't say I'd avoid him..._

_If it makes Kenma happy then maybe there's a good reason though..._

"W-well I-"

"So you're not going to avoid him?" He asked, not even letting you answer before carrying on, "then I'll have to tell Kenma that you wanna be friends with him"

_Wait..._

_But-_

"N-no...." you whispered, "I'll....I'll stop talking to him"

Kuroo seemed indifferent to your revelation.

"Good....it'll make him happy- he can get quite self conscious when Yaku is involved"

You nodded shyly.

_Yaku didn't seem like that..._

_Maybe he's changed?_

_Then again...Kenma is my first concern-_

_I wouldn't like it if he got close to someone who terrorised me_

_I should be more perceptive of peoples feelings...._


	34. Good thing {34}

Kenma clicked through the videos, looking for ones that peaked his interest.

'Man beaten by mob'

'Woman stabbed by boyfriend'

'Knife attack'

'Shotgun wounds'

Eventually he clicked off the website- a mix of not finding anything particularly interesting and the fact that others had started filling up the hallway.

It didn't start as anything weird- someone reposted a video of a car accident and he watched it out of morbid curiosity. Then- out of more morbid curiosity he clicked on the profile...and found some similar videos.

He's sure at some point it must have spiralled into something else other than morbid curiosity- but he didn't concern himself too much with it.

It was getting more and more obsessive though- almost every night he'd click onto the gruesome videos (or at the very least a crime documentary) and watch which some sort of mixed emotion he didn't understand.

It kind of scared him- it kind of made his heart race and kind of made him feel alive.

Soon enough he'd start to just think about the people in the videos.

Some of them had similar builds to him, some of them had a similar build to Kuroo. Infact, Kuroo was probably stronger than a lot of them. He always put himself or Kuroo in these positions of power whereas the person receiving the beating would usually be envisioned as someone else.

After watching the hours and hours of varying degrees of violence it only made sense that he'd start to try and project that into his real life.

_I could do that..._

_Realistically..._

_It's not such a huge thing anymore-_

_We've done it before..._

——————————

To: Kuroo

From: (y/n)

Where are you?

To: (y/n)

From: Kuroo

Rooftop. Practice was cancelled bc coach is sick and we have a test tomorrow, come up :P

You walked back through the halls on your way to the rooftop. Soon enough you heard distant Male voices chatting away as you approached.

"Fat head! Where you just gonna let me wait down there?!" You jokingly scolded Kuroo as you opened the door and revealed the boys.

Kenma and Kuroo were there which was expected but Yaku and Kai had also joined them.

_I thought they didn't like Yaku?_

_Maybe they're just being civil?_

_But if they can talk to him then why can't I?_

_...maybe kenma's still quite unsure on how to handle everything_

_Bullying is upsetting to go through_

"Sorry, I was helping these guys study"

"Oh, what test is it?"

"Science"

"Ew"

They smiled fondly at you before going back to studying.

"Kuroo" you whispered after a bit of silence.

"Hm?"

"Have you got any food?"

He raised his eyebrow with a smirk, "you're such a mooch"

Things went by quiet slowly to be honest- the boys chatted about mitochondria and cytoplasm and you zoned out, occasionally poking at Kenma and pulling faces. He smiled softly sometimes but generally he seemed kind of off...

_It's probably just him being shy_

_These guys don't know we're dating so that's probably it-_

"I've gotta go- see you guys later" Kai announced suddenly packing up his bag.

"See ya later" they boys sang after him.

"Bye!"

Things carried on without a hitch- there was some small talk and chatted but mostly it was Kuroo and Yaku speaking about the test while Kenma played gamed.

_Pfff_

_This is boring_

You started kicking your legs around like a child and stood up to wander around.

_It's quite nice up here_

_We should hang out here more often_

The bright orange sky cast down a tangerine glow as the sun sunk away. It seemed streaks of purple had been had woven through the sky by Mother Nature herself to create a beautiful coalesced picture of colour. 

"Do you have a drink?" You spoke again- this time shouting a little as you had wandered further from the boys.

"Nope"

"Ughh"

"Come on you mooch, we'll go get one" Kuroo laughed, dragging you along after him towards the door.

You looked back to Yaku and Kenma who sat peacefully against the railings.

"Hey Kuroo" you whispered, "will Kenma be ok with Yaku on his own?"

"Yeah, they should be ok. He doesn't do much anymore it's just sometimes upsetting for Kenma but they can be around each other if they have to be"

"Oh" you nodded.

You both made quick work of getting some drinks- in fact you'd both decided to race around the almost empty school to see who'd win- he did obviously.

And soon enough you were walking back up the stairs towards the rooftop. Although Kuroo assured you it would be ok, you still worried for Kenma. You just didn't want him to feel down about it...

You both stilled.

_What..._

_What was that...?_

A deafening scream pierced your ears- causing you and Kuroo to look at each other before bursting through the door.

_That wasn't a playful scream_

_What the fu-_

"YAKU!" Kenma screeched out, arms stretched over the railings at the very edge of the rooftop.

.... _no_

_....where's Yaku....?_

_No no no no_

_What the fuck no_

_No_

His eyes were wide and blank- like he'd been traumatised.

Not long after there was a loud but dull slap that echoed through the quiet air.

... _no_....

"No....no...."

"I-I tried to catch him-" Kenma mumbled as he turned back to you both.

Neither you of Kuroo had moved at this point- you both watched with horrified expressions as things sunk in.

_Fuck_

Then both boys watched you throw the soda on the floor and sprint back down the stairs in a frenzy.

_My heart_

_My hands-_

_I'm shaking so bad_

_I might pass out of this keeps up_

_Holy shit_

_I can't breathe-_

_Just get to Yaku_

_Get to Yaku_

_Dear god please let him be ok_

_Please be ok-_

You heard the boys follow after you with heavy footsteps

_Please_

_Please_

_Please_

Every second felt like an hour.

"HEY! NO RUNNING!"

"HE FELL! WE NEED AN AMBULANCE" you heard Kuroo shout back to the teacher but you couldn't- you couldn't use your voice at all.

You just wanted to get there.

"What? Who fell?"

"Yaku! He fell off the rooftop!"

Upon hearing this the teacher dashed after you all.

"Where is he?!"

"At the main entrance!"

_Shit no_

_No no_

_No_

_No_

_No_

After making your way outside you say him laying still against the floor.

_No_

Blood had begun to pool around him already. His eyes were closed but his mouth hung open slightly.

He was laid on his side and it was obvious that he'd tried to use his arms to soften to blow to his head.

"(Y/n) stay back from him!" The teacher instructed, pulling out their phone to call an ambulance.

"Yaku? Yaku can you hear me?!" No reply came to the teachers question, "Kenma go tell the other teachers and get someone to call his mother!"

The second year nodded with wide eyes and ran back into the school to alert the others.

_I can't even move_

_I'm shaking so bad_

_No_

_This can't be happening-_

_This can't be fucking happening!_

"What happened?"

"I-I don't know we were getting drinks and when we came back up we saw Kenma try to catch him" Kuroo stuttered.

_Please be ok_

_Please be ok_

_Please be ok_


	35. Statement {35}

"Somebody take (y/n) inside"

"No!"

"Please calm down- you can barely breathe" your teacher stressed.

"Is he gonna be ok?! He's alive right?!" Kuroo held you back from getting any closer to the bloody scene where the paramedics were tending to Yaku.

You could feel his chest rising and dropping again at an uneven pace- when you looked up he seemed to be biting his lip and staring into the distance trying to hold back tears.

"MORISUKE?! Oh my god-"

His mother had arrived- panicked beyond belief.

"We need to get him to the hospital"

You watched in silence- gripping onto Kuroo as they took Yaku into the ambulance with his sobbing mother.

_Please be ok_

_Please_

_Please_

_Please_

"Come on you three, it's best not to crowd them"

You were all ushered inside- not one of you saying a word.

_This can't be happening_

_This can't be real_

"You can sit over there" she stated, pointing to the cafeteria. By now all the teachers had been made aware and the remaining students in the building were told to go home as the section where Yaku fell was cordoned off.

You could see the students walking around with concerned looks on their faces- now and then you'd hear a whisper of 'what happened?'.

_Please dear god be ok_

"Are you guys ok?" The woman calmly asked, "...stupid question I know..."

"Do you think he'll be ok?" Kuroo asked while staring at the table.

"I'm sorry Kuroo- I really couldn't say..."

"Right...."

"Ah...sorry. Listen, at this point they won't report back to the school until atleast tomorrow. You three should go home and rest because tomorrow we'll have to take statements"

"Yeah...ok- our stuff is still on the rooftop though"

"I'll go get it for you"

"Thanks"

————————————

It was a painful journey home- the blue lights from the ambulance hit you in the face as Kuroo drive out of the school grounds.

You could only watch in terror.

"We got a call from the school- what the hell happened?" You mother screeched as you walked through the door.

"A-a boy....my friend fell from the rooftop...."

"Oh god...."

"I was there a-and I don't know if he's g-gonna survive" you broke down into a sob as she rushed to your side.

"Let's not assume anything yet, ok?"

It was then when she noticed the two boys stood at the door holding your things.

"Kuroo, Kenma...where you two there too?"

"...yeah..."

"Kenma dear- are you alright?" She asked upon seeing the boy. He wasn't exactly the picture of health- it was the first time she'd seen him not on some sort of game.

He stared blankly at the floor and stood behind Kuroo while trying to stop his hands from shaking.

"Would you both like to come in for a while? Just to calm down before driving again..."

"I-"

"Please Kuroo I'll feel awful letting you go like this"

So with that your mother ushered you and the boys into the living room where you sat in silence while she made tea.

"Waiting can be very daunting with these things- but there's nothing you can do to change it. You should stay calm and get ready for whatever news you might get" she mumbled on to the boys while you sat on the couch and sobbed to yourself.

"Kenma dear- have something to drink" she slid a cup infront of him before carrying on.

You eventually looked over to Kenma who looked traumatised.

_Oh god_

_I hope he doesn't feel guilty for this..._

_that's a terrible burden to bare-_

"Thankyou for trying to catch him" you whispered, "I....I probably would've panicked in that situation and frozen"

He didn't say anything- he didn't actually acknowledge that you'd spoken apart from his hand reaching out and gripping yours softly.

————————————

"Why are the police here?" You asked Kuroo as you sat timidly outside the principals office. Rumours had began to spread already- you couldn't even bring yourself to see anyone from the team so you just waited to give your statement instead.

"They'll probably be the ones taking our statements" he replied, "just stay calm, they're here for Yaku...nothing else"

"Ok....I'm just scared"

"All you have to do is tell them what you saw. We left for a drink, came back and we saw Kenma trying to grab Yaku" he stressed.

_I didn't actually see Yaku_

_Kenma was just stretched over the railing_

"Yeah....that's what I'll tell them"

Though you knew they were here for Yaku you couldn't help but feel terrified.

_Just breathe_

_Shit_

_My heart-_

_I can't slow it down_

_Fuck_

The door clicked open and Kenma walked out followed by the principal, leaving the two officers in the office.

"(Y/n) you're up next, Kenma please wait here until everyone has been interviewed" he gave you a brief smile before ushering you into the office where the two officers sat.

_Fuck_

_Shit_

"Now I know this must be awful for you and you can take all the time you need but I need you to tell me what happened last night"

"O-ok"

_This is ok_

_I'm prepared_

_I just need to tell them what I saw_

"Volleyball had been cancelled so I text Kuroo because he usually gives me a ride home. He said that I should meet him on the rooftop so I did.... Kuroo, Kenma, Yaku and Kai where all there when I went but Kai left not long after. I asked Kuroo if he had a drink but he didn't so we went to go get one. When we were walking back up the stairs we heard a scream s-so we ran to see what happened and Kenma had tried to catch Yaku b-but..."

"So you saw how Yaku fell? Was he climbing, messing around or anything?"

"I didn't see that part, I'm sorry... I just saw Kenma reach out for him. I think Kuroo got there a few seconds before me though so he might be able to help more" you stated.

_I could've sworn Kuroo was behind me-_

_But he said he saw Yaku falling so he must have got there earlier than me-_

_Maybe it's just the shock messing with my head_

_Things like this can mess with your memory_

"Ok, then what happened?"

"Then I guess we all kind of froze for a while because me and Kuroo didn't really understand at first but then I realised what had happened and I ran to go find him....that's when everyone was notified and the ambulance was called"

"Ok...Thankyou for your time"

You nodded solemnly as you were led out.

"(Y/n) wait with Kenma while Kuroo gives his statement"

You sat down next to him- not really knowing what to say.

"...how're you feeling?"

He just shrugged.

"I'm sorry for asking and you don't have to tell me if it's upsetting but... how did Yaku fall?"

"....he was messing around with his pen- trying to do those little flick things and he accidentally flung in over the railing. He went to get it but when he leaned on the railing he lost his balance and fell"

"....oh...."

"Yeah..."

"Do you think you're gonna be ok in class today?" You asked as you'd been thinking about it yourself.

_I can't get the image of Yaku out of my head-_

_I can't-_

_My heart feels heavy_

_I feel anxious and on edge_

_I don't know if I can make it through the day at school_

"I think I might just ask to go home...I think they'll understand"

It wasn't long before Kuroo was walking out of the office and back over to you followed by the officers and principal.

"Thankyou for your cooperation, if you remember anything else or want to change your statements please just tell your principal and he'll inform us" the man spoke.

"Yes, now- I still need to talk to you all" the principal stressed as he sat down and the officers walked away, "witnessing something like this can be extremely traumatising, especially given the circumstances- so I want to let you know that the school councillor has you all booked for a session each next Monday. We are also more than aware that you may need a few days off to try and understand what has happened. If you don't want to see the councillor or would like to rearrange anything you can come speak to me or call from home"

You all nodded.

"Would you like to give today a try or...?"

"I don't think I can...." you mumbled.

"Yeah...I think we'd like to take today off....just... try to process it"

"Ok, that's perfectly understandable" he nodded.

"Have you heard anything about Yaku yet?"

"Not yet- but it is early in the morning still. I'll make sure someone informs you if we get any information"


	36. Fall apart {36}

_I don't want to be here..._

_You looked around the room- a room that was once familiar but had now become so cold and distant._

_It's not the same..._

_It makes me scared-_

_I don't feel safe here_

_Someone else has been here_

_This isn't my room anymore_

"(Y/n)?" There was a gently knock on the door before your mother came in, "the school called, they have an update on Yaku"

"How is he?" You jolted upright, awaiting the news you had been obsessing over.

_Did he make it?_

_It is a funeral?_

_Maybe he does just now-_

_What if he died on impact_

Slowly, your mother got closer and sat on your bed with you- her dull face trying to find the right words to say.

"He's alive but in a coma"

"Oh thank god" you stressed.

He didn't die

After reliving the event over and over you'd almost convinced yourself Yaku died on impact-

The image of him against the bloody floor....so still and damaged...

You'd scared yourself into believing that he'd been dead all this time-

"They did say that...it's too early to tell if he'll come out of it and if he does there will likely be some permanent damage" your mother carried on, not wanting to give you any false hope, "there's still a chance he might pass...."

"I know he could still die but he's not dead yet" you mumbled, "and that's something, right?"

"....of course sweetie, there's always a chance"

_At least there's a chance_

_That's better than nothing_

Although you'd been delivered some good news your mood remained relatively sour.

That night you tried to sleep- you really tried-

But you couldn't.

You didn't feel safe.

Everytime you closed your eyes your heart began to pound.

_What if he's here?_

_What if he's waiting for me?_

_There could be something in the closet-_

_Or in the walls_

_Or in the attic_

_Something could be watching me_

Your heartbeat sped up with every thought- and so instead of sleeping you tuned on all the lights and sat awake.

_Stay awake_

_I need to stay awake_

_So nobody can get in_

_So nothing can h̳u̳r̳t̳ ̳m̳e̳ or my family_

It wasn't long before your mind drifted elsewhere- not even about someone but now about something.

Images of distorted, grotesque faces and mangled limbs filled your mind- the more you tried to ignore it the more it persisted.

_What if the thing that's watching me isn't human_

_Something that I can't comprehend_

_T could be a̵̩̅̏n̸̮̙̻͙̼̳͛́̓͊͊y̷̨̺̹̙̝͔̪̣̭͐̊͠ͅẇ̸͙̻͇̣͍͎̩̩̙̿̉h̴̤̬̟̪̭͔̱̦̼̽͛͆͋̐͑̕͝è̶̛̛͉͇̽́̈́̊̿ŗ̵̜̩̳̹̘͉̙͊ȩ̶̟̯̼̱̉̇̈̈́̔_

_It could be anything_

_It could be here right now_

_Just wat chi ng_

_What if it's watching me right now_

_What is it_

_What does it want_

_I don't know what it is_

_That's why it's scarier_

_N_

_N_

_I don't know_

_What if it's already here?_

_Watching_

_It could be huddled in the corner_

W̸̰̦̾͝͠h̸̢̛̳̞͋́̌̒̃̇͋̐͝o̶̠̜͉̬͈̖̭͆̓̊͆͊͗ ̸̨̹̬̼̦͚̹̰͔̅̇͜͝ĭ̵̭̬̘̳̎̀̀͂̆̐̐̌͠ş̶̮͍̺̬̤͗̈́͋͗̾̚̕ͅ ̵͎͖̀̒̀́w̶̢̧̳͍͎̩͎͔͒ͅa̶̠̻͕͕̺̽̈́̑͂̿̉͐́̌t̷̛͍͆̈́̀̈́̆c̴̭̋̿̓̈͝͝ͅh̸̠̤͓͇͛̓̋͗ͅǐ̵̼̟̤̖͍̐̋̎̓͌̌͘͝ṅ̵̢̡̢̪̹͚̋̐̇̉̐̔͠ͅg̴̗̏͌ ̸̨̧̢̡̜̖̝͓̥̅̏m̶̛͕̓̀̽́e̵̒͐̓̎͜

_Just calm down_

_I feel like I'm losing my mind_

_Breathe. You're safe_

_I don't know that I'm safe I'm not safe I don't feel safe_

_Nothing is watching_

_I can feel it_

_What do I do if somethings there?_

What if I turn around andŚ̶̨̜̼̘̜̯̞̆͒͑̆͐͜o̵̥̖̎m̵͓̯̩̂́̓̂̃̃e̷̢̤̝̭̐ṱ̴̜̟̬̗͚̉̈́́h̸̢̤̣̟͙̻̫̞̀̔́̈́̉̈́̓͌̓ͅͅỉ̶̬͈̽̑͗̃̀̿̃͝ṋ̶̢̱̝̫̤̣̤͛͑ͅĝ̸̢͇͚͇̓̇͌͑̄̇̾̄s̴̡̡̱̮͇̫̝͚̺̋̔͋̎̀̅̆̚ ̵̙̃̒̔̒̀̃t̵̢̻̘̲̮͙̙̮̍͒̌͛̌͂̍̕͝h̸̨͖̖̑͑̈́͂̓̉͝ë̵̡̧̧̺̭͎̺̪́͌͊r̸̢̻̯͙̞̪̙̟̫̃̌͑͘͜e̷͇͍͎̳͕͎͓̪̽́̄̀̕

_Who do I trust anymore?_

_I can't trust myself_

My ŗ̴͎̘͍̟̱͎͈̤͉̅̆̿̃̅̀̓̂̐͋e̸̺̊̿̇̚̚͠͝͠ḁ̷̧̫̋͆̋l̵͚͙̟̽́͝ī̸̤͖͛͠ţ̴͓̣̫̝̭̊͂͜ỳ̷̛̜̜̦̫̬͗̓̀͌̐̈́͝ is fake

_Do I accept their reality as fact_

_Because mine i̳s̳ ̳f̳a̳l̳s̳e̳_

_I thought I told the truth_

_I thought I could trust myself_

————————————&9)91@@1

"Kuroo?" You meekly called down the phone.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I...are you busy today?"

"Nope, why?"

"Can I...well... can you and Kenma just...can I come be with you guys?"

"Um- yeah sure. Did something happen? You sound stressed"

"Nothing happened...I just- I'll explain when I see you guys"

"Ok sure. I'll come pick you up now- Kenmas probably still in bed so I'll text him and let him know you're coming"

"Ok...thanks Kuroo"

——————————

"Did the school call you about Yaku?" You asked the boys.

"Yes- it's good news I suppose....I can't help but worry..."

"It's hard to find a good point in a situation like this" Kenma reassured Kuroo.

"Anyway" the taller boy piped up and he drove down the small road, "what's up with you? You sounded really nervous this morning"

"Oh..." you let out a sigh, "I....I'm having problems at home"

"Why? Your mom?"

"No- it's me"

"Why? What'd you do?"

"Nothing-...I just....I don't feel safe there.... everything with the stalker really just... I don't know how to describe it- it doesn't feel like my home anymore. I feel like I have no privacy and that I'm always being watched and I know I sound paranoid but I can't help it"

"Oh....."

"That's perfectly normal after everything that's happened"

"Yeah, Kenma's right. You have every right to feel like that- even though it mustn't be nice"

"It's terrifying" you corrected.

"Really?" He seemed quite concerned with your statement.

"I....my body wont do what I want it to- my brain doesn't do what I want it to anymore. It's like I'm torturing myself when I'm there!"

"You know you can always come stay with one of us"

"I don't want to put my problems into other people but it's all getting too much for me...."

"We care about you- it's our problem too. You can call stay with us whenever you want no matter the reason" Kuroo smiled, "- I know these past few months have been hard on you but things are looking up. The stalker has stopped and Yaku's alive, right? So let's focus on the positives"

"The carnivals in town this weekend too- we should go. Take our mind off of things" Kenma suggested.

"Yeah...maybe"


	37. 私がみえますか？{37#

私の言葉は信用できません。

彼らだけが真実を話す

なぜ私は嘘をついているのですか？

欺く

背を向ける

私の話を信じないで

あなたに嘘をつく

それは私の性質です

彼らが言うことは事実です。

私が信じているのはおとぎ話です。

私は妄想になりました

すべては私が作り上げたファンタジーです。

まだ私を見てるの？

私は暗闇の中できれいに見えますか？

私の妄想はあなたを怖がらせますか？

こわ～い

またおかしいですよね？

申し訳ありません

私はもっと賢くなるべきです

申し訳ありません。 私は不安定になりました。


	38. I make promises {38}

"You care about him an awful lot"

"...."

"Is he that important to you? Even though you promised you wouldn't see him?"

"....I don't want death to follow me"

"But why would his death matter?"

"......

........ it wouldn't"

_I shouldn't lie_

_Am I lying?_

_He said I'm not_

_I can't remember making that promise_

_But I can't trust myself_

_I think he's telling the truth_

_And I think I'm lying_

"I'm just glad you agreed not to see him- but now that he's I'll it doesn't change, ok? You promised to avoid him and you should keep your promises or it'll upset Kenma and I"

"I'll keep my promise"


	39. 私はうそつきだ

ははははははは

私をそんなに簡単に信じないで

盲目的に反逆を叫んで私に従ってください

あなたは何も学びませんでしたか？

あなたは私を信頼することはできません

空っぽになった

https://youtu.be/7wEvoC-ndy4

何を言えばいいか教えて

良い人形です

あなたを裏切らない

約束します

私は信じることが他に何もありませんでした

痛みを通して、あなたの言葉は私の福音になりました

私は見られるのが好きではありませんが、あなたは再びここにいます。

多分それはすべて私の頭の中にあります

私は自分の考えを気にする必要はありません。 彼の考えは福音です。

彼に会いたくないと言った。 彼はもう私には関係ないはずです。 私が気にかけているので、彼らはイライラしています。

彼に会わないと約束した。 私は背を向けます。

私は彼と話すことは許されていると確信しました。

私は私の愛を約束しました。 私は彼を避けると彼に言った。 私は彼の健康、病気、死を避けます。


	40. Sorry {40}

You tried to explain the situation to your parents- they weren't pleased about it per say but she understood.

Kuroo and Kenma helped you pack your things before bringing you back to Kenmas home. His parents were very understanding- they weren't home most of the time and when they were you never interfered.

Besides- they trusted Kenmas judge in character, he's not one to hang around with untrustworthy people.

So it was decided- you'd be staying with them for a while. Just until you start to feel safer and gain a sense of security back.

"(Y/n)?"

"Yeah"

"Do you wanna go cancel your appointment with the councillor?" Kenma asked.

"Hm? Why?"

"Me and Kuroo are cancelling ours"

"Oh...it might help though-"

He turned to look at your- his cat like eyes surveying your face before he spoke again.

"I just think it's wise for us not to talk. We've got secrets- plus it's not like she can do much about the stalker, he's already stopped bothering you, right?"

"Yeah....but that's not the only thing that's happened-"

"What else do you want to talk about to her? You can't bring up him unless you want to go to jail"

"What happened to Yaku was still upsetting though-"

"....I really can't keep up with you...." he sighed, putting his game away into his bag.

"Huh?"

"One day you say you'll avoid him then you want to talk to him- one day you say he doesn't matter to you but now you want to go to a therapist?" He stressed.

"Well....I-it's still- it's just the blood and stuff....." you tried to reason with him- but you could feel your heart drop each time he spoke coldly to you.

"You make no sense. Nobody asked you to avoid him but you said you would anyway- you make your own promises just to break them. If he means that much to you then be my guest"

"I-I don't care about him- I told you! I told you and Kuroo-" you insisted.

"You tell me and Kuroo what we want to hear- if you're not being honest it doesn't count" he snapped, standing up and walking away, leaving you speechless.

_No_

_No_

_You felt Kenmas affection being ripped away from you._

_But I need it_

_I need him_

_Come back_

You'd become to reliant on Kenma and Kuroo...

It didn't even occour to you that they could just be ripped away from you-

They could leave

They could get annoyed at you and bored of you

....

You can't take them for granted

_No no no no no_

_No no_

_If Kenmas getting annoyed with me then Kuroo probably is too-_

_No_

_I'm sorry_

_I need to show them I'm sorry_

You had to prove to them you weren't that way...

You could be better for them.

.... _I can't believe I upset Kenma_

_Oh my god_

_What have I done_

_No_

————————

Kenma watched you nervously make your way into the gym, ignoring everyone and walking straight to him and Kuroo with your eyes glued to the floor.

"Hi-"

"I cancelled my appointment" your voice was shaky and nervous; your fingers nervously played with the hem of your skirt when you blurted it out.

He smiled.

"I-I'm sorry if I've been acting erratically or anything- I didn't mean to upset you my minds just all over the place at the moment...." you turned directly to Kenma to apologise.

_He's right..._

_Why would I go out of my way to make a promise then break it?_

_I just hope this doesn't make things awkward_

_I can lose them_

_I can't go home_

_They're my safe place_

_They're the only people who I feel safe around anymore_

_I need them_

"Did something happen?" Kuroo interjected while listening to the interaction.

"We were just talking earlier about some stuff" Kenma mumbled.

Kuroo nodded, turning to you before smiling.

"Well, it seems it's been fixed now, right?"

You nodded obediently.

"It's fine now...."

—————————

_He's still being a little stand off-ish_

_Im staying at his house..._

_What if he doesn't want me there?_

_What if he kicks me out?_

_Kuroo doesn't have a spare room_

_I don't feel safe with anyone else_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go home_

I̴͎̠͒͆̈́̑͜͠ ̴̹̩̰͖̋̇̂̕͝c̷̛̘̓̾̆̓̋å̸̬̽̏̑̿̉̔̚n̶̨̡̛͕̦͖̬͓̦̊͗̉̄̍̆͝'̴̡̜͇̦̿̀̎͆͐t̶̡̙̺̣͙̪̙̉̒̂̀̈́̿̈̏͐͌ ̵̩̞̩̖̟̭̠̻͑͋g̵̳͆ò̷̟̼͓̙̘̥̪̒͝ͅ ̴̡̩̟͕͔̥͉̪͗̑́̈͝ḩ̶̭͖̗͚͎̘̲̙̿̊͌̂̈́̋̓̐ȍ̴̡̢̻̟̞͌̄͒͑̄͆̕m̷̥̼̱̝̣͍͉͇̰̃͌̔̈̾͋͊͠e̴̼͐̃͑̉̔̀̿

"Kenma...."

"Yes?"

"I really am sorry...."

"I know" he smiled, watching you bite your lip and slowly descend into tears.

"I'm sorry"

"I know" he cooed.

You tackled him in a hug, dragging him back onto the mattress where you held onto him tightly. Kuroo watched carefully from the floor where he and Kenma had been taking turns playing a game.

"I really love you both"

"I love you too"

"I don't like when you're upset with me" you wept.

"We won't be upset if you just be yourself" He reassured, "just like it's always been" he stroked the hair from your face and wiped your tears carefully.

You smiled through the tears- even allowing a little giggle to escape as you nodded your head and looked into Kenmas eyes.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Yeah" you giggled.

"We just need to get you back to normal" Kuroo butted in- joining you both on the bed and spooning you from behind.

"She's getting there. You've made a few steps in the right direction today"

"She has..."

You nodded shyly in agreement as you snuggled in closer to them.

Kenma watched calmly as you softly grabbed his face and leaned in for a small kiss.

Then another one.

And another.

Another-

And another before you finally deepened the kiss.

You took your time to look into his eyes between every kiss- your tears blurring the image of his face so much that you just wanted to look at him until everything seemed clear.

Next was Kuroo turn- you repeated your previous actions.

You'd kiss him lightly, pulling back ever so slightly to watch his changing face as you slowly, slowly leaned in for another one.

This time it was Kuroo that deepened the kiss- he was always the rougher one- especially with these things.

He pulled you into his lap and then pushed you back into the mattress as he hovered over you.

"Kenma..." you meekly called out, pulling at his sleeve.

"I'm here" he smiled.

"You're ok (y/n)- we got you" Kuroo whispered.


	41. Carnival {41}

"It's so pretty" you gleefully sighed upon seeing the neon lights cut through the dimming sky.

"Come on!"

The boys smiled at your squeaky demand as they got out of the car. Nevertheless they made quick work of following your bouncing figure closer and closer to the travelling carnival.

It had been set up across a park and around any spare ground they could find. It was on the outskirts of Tokyo so it wasn't as highly populated as the centre.

"What should we do first? Oh look at the swings-"

"You wanna go on the swings?"

"Yeah!"

"I'll hold the stuff" Kenma volunteered.

"Really? You don't wanna come on?"

He just shook his head, a slight scowl playing on his face as he did so.

"I'll go on something slower"

You nodded in amusement.

"Well c'mon Kuroo we need to get a place in line!"

You both giggled and ran towards the ride, Kenma following slowly behind watching you both fondly.

_They're like children_

The smaller boy made himself comfortable on a nearby bench as you two stood in the line, getting closer and closer to the ride. He could occasionally hear your squeal in excitement and would look up to see you jumping around or being hugged tightly by Kuroo.

You spotted Kenma snuggled up in his hoodie watching you both, so you jumped up and down happily waving at him. He didn't wave back but you could see a small giggle run through his chest.

"(Y/n) c'mon it's our turn!"

Tetsurō took your hand and pulled you along to find a seat on the swings.

"We're gonna be able to see for miles!"

You strapped yourselves in and pulled down the bar in front of you and after the ride operator had come and checked everything you felt yourself being listed from the ground.

_Ah!_

_I can't wait to see everything_

"It's gonna go really high, huh?"

Kuroo felt your hand grip onto his jacket- so he took the initiative to wrap his arm around you and tuck you in close to his chest.

As the swings swung you got higher and higher and faster and faster- soon enough you were too high up to try and make out any small features on the ground. You looked away into the distance, seeing the bright lights glow against the darkness.

"Look how pretty the carousel is!" You pointed out into the distance.

"Yeah- this place is pretty nice"

"This is so cool"

"You happy?" He asked, turning to you.

"I'm so happy" you solemnly smiled before leaning in for a kiss.

"I love you"

"I love you too"

You watched his face carefully- every feature was soft yet manly and it was only illuminated by the warm lights cast down from the gaudy bulbs in the ride. His raven hair almost faded into the inky sky dotted with glittering stars. You felt your heart swell up. As your feet hung loose in the air you held onto Kuroo like your life depended on it and stared at his face is pure adoration.

Kuroo eventually turned towards you again after looking out into the distance and pulled you in- his kiss being much more passionate than the little peck you had delivered.

"Are you gonna cry?" He questioningly gazed at you when he pulled away from the steamy kiss- his hand still cupping you're cheek.

"I'm just...I'm really happy" you laughed out, slightly embarrassed at the tear running down your face.

"You're so sappy"

"I....I just like feeling happy"

"....me too" he smiled, pulling you closer yet again.

——————————

"Go Kenma!!"

"YEAH!"

You and Kuroo clapped furiously, cheering on the younger boy as he played the game he claimed was stupid.

"You won, what'd ya want?" The bearded man asked.

"Um, do you guys want anything?"

"Get the inflatable hammer!" Kuroo called out.

"Ugh....the hammer please..." Kenma was clearly red in the face- quite embarrassed at the prize he'd have to carry around.

The boy was handed the giant blue hammer that stood almost as tall as him.

"Kenma you're so good at these games-" you praised him as you walked away only to be interrupted.

"BONK"

"PFFT HAHAHAHA" you broke into a hysterical laugh as Kenma smacked the hammer against Kuroos head unexpectedly.

"Hey!"

"OH MY GOD HAHAHAHA"

"You hold it, you wanted it" Kenma demanded, passing the inflatable toy to Kuroo.

"You look way too excited to have that" you giggled.

"Wait I want to win something- let's go to that one" he pointed out another game stall, handing you the hammer as he paid for a turn.

You and Kenma stood back, huddling together and watching Kuroo give the game his all.

"Oh god- if he wins how much are you betting he'll get that?" You whispered to Kenma, motioning at the huge fish plushie hanging at the top of the games tent.

"Oh god..." he sighed.

Kuroo seemed to have already taken a liking to that particular plush- and intended on winning it even if he had to pay for another five tries at the ring toss.

"what would you like?" 

"That fish please" he triumphantly announced, waiting patently to collect his prize.

So the man behind the counter handed over the huge plush to Kuroo, who in turn handed it to you while taking the hammer out of your grip.

"You can have the fish"

"Thankyou!"

"No problem"

"Don't you want a prize Kenma? We can try and get you one" you asked the boy.

"No thanks"

"Ok, can we go on the Ferris wheel next?" You begged, it was already dark and you wanted to go on before the line got too long.

"Sure- lets get some food first though"


	42. Carousel {42}

"Next group" the ride operator called out, beckoning for you to get into the little cabin.

You smiled at him while stepping up and taking a seat while the boys followed. Kenma and you sat on the same side and Kuroo sat opposite of you both.

The hammer was laid down on the floor while you held on tightly to the fish with a large smile.

Soon enough the small gate in the cabin was closed and the ride was moving.

"It's so pretty..." you pulled out your phone to take a photo of the lights when Kenma gasped.

"We're up quite high" Kuroo commented, urging Kenma to looking over the edge too, "....this is probably around how far Yaku fell...."

_What_....

"Can you imagine falling from this high? Must've been scary"

_Why_...

"(Y/n) look over the edge" he demanded, both the boys already doing so themselves.

"I don't want to"

"Just do it"

"No"

You felt his hand grip your shoulders and push you forwards while his other hand forced your head down to look at the ground.

"Look at how scary it is (y/n). Don't you think it's scary?" He seethed, punning you against the small wall of the cabin and pressing himself up against you.

"Get off-" you yelped, only for his rough hand to cover your mouth.

"Don't you think it's scary?"

"Kuroo get off-" you tried to push back but it would always be in vain- you couldn't match his strength.

"You won't even look? Yaku had to fall from this high yet you won't even look?"

"Why?! Why should I?!" You asked, but the words were muffled by his hand.

"Yakus dead because of you and you won't even look at the ground?" Kenma spat.

_Wait what-_

_He's dead-_

Kuroo stood up, dragging you to your feet in the corner so you could face Kenma. You let out squeals and screeches- trying desperately to push away Kuroos hand to ask more questions.

_But he survived-_

_When..._

_When did-_

"Something you want to say?" Kuroos hand slipped lower down, freeing your face.

"He's dead?! When did he die?!? How was it my fault?! Y-you're lying! They said he survived!" You screeched out at them, years running down your face.

"(Y/n) he's been dead for ages- you know that" Kenma tilted his head to watch you carefully, "I had to lie to protect you y'know"

"What- what are you even talking about?!"

"He didn't fall (y/n). You know he didn't fall, don't you?"

"What....then wha-"

"He jumped. He said you were vile to him"

"I..." you shook your head in disbelief, "you're lying!"

"He was fine until you came along" Kuroo whispered, "why shouldn't we just push you? You've killed two people, why should you get to live?"

"No...no..."

He forced you to look down at the ground again- yanking a fistful of your hair to secure his grip on you.

Then, without warning, he simply pushed you back onto your seat and sat down calmly.

"Oh hey Kenma I think I can see the school from here-"

They chatted like nothing had happened. You sat, feeling numb and sick. You buried your face into the plushie, trying to muffle your sobs as they made small talk and ignored you.

_What the fuck_

_Did that just happen_

_What just happened_

_What-_

So when the ride came to a stop, you dashed out, not waiting for them.

You just wanted to get away. You needed to get away. The tears in your eyes formed a glare of the lights surrounding you. Everything looked like one big, multicoloured blur.

Of course the boys followed you, it wasn't hard to spot you when you carried the large plushie but you definitely made quick work of making your way through the crowd. They didn't let it panic them, they stayed calm as they weaved through the crowds after you.

_They're following me_

_I need to get away_

_They'll kill me_

_I think they want me dead_

_They're gonna kill me_

_I'll die_

_Fuck_

Jjb

Did

F

D

Kkkkk

DElsmandekK

Ldlxkx

You spotted the glowing carousel not too far from you and made a bee-line towards it. Aching as you ran, your legs carried you there as quick as possible.

"Hey-" you passed the man in charge of the ride some change, jumping up to the platform and getting on a carousel horse before even waiting to check if he allowed you to.

Admittedly you were a little self conscious on this ride- it was like being trapped and slowly forced to stand on a stage in front of people.

Forcefully displayed like a doll.

Your eyes stayed glued to the floor and you gripped the pole, the plush in between your arms as you did so.

_Keep your head down_

The ride had started-

You looked around and they weren't there.

They hadn't got on the ride atleast, but they were stood behind the railings watching you.

Blaring music shot through your entire body as you tried to figure out what the fuck to do.

The boys watched.

Everytime you came around you turned your face, avoiding their eye contact completely.

It was driving Kenma crazy- round and round and round at the pace of a snail. It was annoying.

"Huh-"

"What?"

Kenma watched as Kuroo was suddenly alerted him to something.

"Which one was she on?"

"I don't know-"

"Where-" the tall boy walked away in a panic, checking the carousel and the people on it.

"What?" Kenma repeated, following him.

"She's gone-"


	43. Run {43}

You ran.

You ran and you didn't stop even when you felt like you were being stabbed and like you were going to throw up.

_I can't deal with this_

_I don't want this_

_I can't_

_I want to leave_

_I want to go_

_I hate this_

_I hate life_

_I hate my feelings_

It was all dark and scary and loud but quiet but you didn't stop.

_Where the fuck can I even go_

_What do I do_

_I can't go home_

_I can't go to Kenmas or Kuroos_

_I can't-_

_I'll be alone_

_I have to be alone for now_

_I'm not safe_

_Nothing's safe_

_My head doesn't work_

_Why won't my mind work_

_What's wrong with me?_

You walked for what felt like hours.

You only knew of one place that you could go where no one else could be- it wouldn't be perfect but it's all you had.

The memories of that night came flooding back as you walked through the overgrown grass towards the large building,

D̴o̴n̴'̴t̴ ̴b̴r̴e̴a̴t̴h̴e̴ ̴a̴n̴d̴ ̴w̴h̴e̴n̴ ̴I̴ ̴s̴a̴y̴ ̴s̴o̴ ̴s̴n̴i̴f̴f̴ ̴i̴n̴ ̴r̴e̴a̴l̴l̴y̴ ̴h̴a̴r̴d̴

Up the stairs

Through the door

Along the path

_I can't sleep in the swimming pool_

_That's where he was_

_That's where it happened_

ʂɧơųƖɖ ῳɛ ɠơ ɖơῳŋ ɬơ ɬɧɛ ℘ơơƖ?????????

£3&:8:&:'ana

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ᴵ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ʰᵉ ʰᵃᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒ ˢᵉᵉ ᵃ ᶠʳⁱᵉⁿᵈ qᵘⁱᶜᵏˡʸ

Everything felt numb.

You couldn't even really remember how or why you got back here- but you were here now.

I̷'̷m̷ ̷s̷o̷r̷r̷y̷ ̷s̷o̷m̷e̷t̷h̷i̷n̷g̷ ̷l̷i̷k̷e̷ ̷t̷h̷a̷t̷ ̷i̷s̷ ̷h̷a̷p̷p̷e̷n̷i̷n̷g̷ ̷t̷o̷ ̷y̷o̷u̷

You didn't feel fear like you usually would- this place terrifies you yet you waltzed through it in the dark all alone.

T͓̽i͓̽r͓̽e͓̽d͓̽?͓̽ ͓̽O͓̽h͓̽-͓̽ ͓̽u͓̽h͓̽,͓̽ ͓̽d͓̽o͓̽ ͓̽y͓̽o͓̽u͓̽ ͓̽w͓̽a͓̽n͓̽t͓̽ ͓̽a͓̽n͓̽o͓̽t͓̽h͓̽e͓̽r͓̽ ͓̽k͓̽e͓̽y͓̽?͓̽

Ḩ̸̭͚̲̪̱͈͖̈́̈̔ĕ̵̢̛̩̞̯̥͎͉͎͆̔̚y̴̛̹̔̉́̑́̽̅͝-̸̢͉̳̹̞̱͗̒́̈̍̅̈́̚͝͠ ̶̧̧̛͉̥̳̼̠̼͇͛͋͐͒͆͆̉̓̓t̴̨̩͉̺̦͍̼̰͈͗̊͑̈̾͂͠ḧ̴̨͎̳͍͎͍̤̠́i̵̧̨̦̖̾́͊͐̑s̷̩̳̼͍̯͔̼̎̎͌̎̉͑͂̐͘͝ ̸̻́̈́i̷͙̖̥̩̪̳̔̿͛̔̉̕͘͜͝s̵̠̪̦̣̠̞̱̟̥̹͋̏̑̚ ̷̼̈́̚K̷̨̞̠̣̎̀́ǒ̸̘̱̙̣̺̲̪̃́̂̃͋͊͘͝m̸͚̰̰̿͑̉́̀͐͘ȋ̵̧̭͈͓̱͓̬̝̣̂͆̔

After walking around with an absent mind, you found yourself huddled in the corner of the dirty old changing rooms, holding onto the large plushie like your life depended on it.

Everything too much

Everythdnnx

Chhsbs just

Ytu much

McIntyre

I. Any take it

Tf

Too mucj I've got to rest and slefpo

Until a I cantswfeel

——————————

Your eyes opened and everything felt strange.

_I..._

_I forgot_

_Wait- who am I-_

_Where am I-_

....

_I'm..._

_I'm (y/n)_

_This is the swimming pool_

....

You held on tighter to the plushie, eyes carefully surveying your surroundings as the sun seeped through the cracks.

While trying to gain some sort of strength you let out a yawn, too lazy to sit up but just ware enough to stay awake.

Then you heard footsteps approaching-

Who the fuck-

Shit-

You bolted upright, trying to push yourself back into the corner more than you already where.

_Oh_

_Kuroo_

You weren't sure what to feel.

Where you scared? Relieved? Happy?

Kenma followed him and they made their way into the room, sitting opposite you as you tried to fully wake up.

You didn't speak.

They both watched as you're placed your thumb into your mouth and laid back down with the plush, staring at them doe eyes with a sense of vacancy.

"We need to talk" Kuroo stated.

You carried on watching with an empty stare while you sucked your thumb.

"The lying is becoming too much" he said.

"Lying....?"

"Yes. Lying"

"....what did I lie about....? Was it Yaku? Is it about how I lied because I bullied him?" You lowly spoke, "I may aswell have pushed him right? Because I'm a murderer, right? And I killed Yaku"

"What are you talking about? Yaku isn't dead"

"He's not? Ha...ha ha....I must've lied about that too" you giggled.

"Admitting to it is the first step" Kenma added.

"I know I'm a liar...I don't believe myself anymore...that's why I've got you guys"

"What if we want to break up?" Kuroo asked.

"Ha...ha....ha....I'd just...have to stay here..." they watched you chew at you thumb like a child, "do you guys not like me anymore?"

"Of course we like you- but your behaviour is unacceptable. We don't think we can trust you"

"But I told you....I don't trust me either...I trust you guys"

"So you'll do as we say?"

"Always" you smiled.

"And you won't lie anymore?"

You shook your head.

"How do we know we can trust you?"

"Because I love you"

"Then prove it"

You lazily looked up before falling onto the ground and crawling over to the boys.

Prove it

Ha

Ha

Prove it

"I love you" they heard you whimper while playing with Kenmas waistband.

"Go on- prove yourself and you can come back with us"

You nodded, fondling Kenma slightly before pulling down at his underwear and pants.

"This won't fix everything y'know" he said, grabbing your hair and guiding your mouth onto him.

"You can only come back if we both agree o-otherwise we'll have to leave you here" he stuttered out, still keeping a tight grip on your hair.

You obviously couldn't reply due to your mouth being full but you listened intently and put extra effort in.

Proe it

Wnnnn

Hahaha

_Prove it_

_I believe them_

_If they leave me I'll lose it_

_No_

_Hxxxx_

_Don't be cold_

_Fjsjsnss_

_Ccccccc_

_I've forced them to be like this_

_I forced them to be mean to me_

_I forced them to be colldddd_

When Kenma finished you pulled back, staring up at him with the same empty expression and doe eyes before moving to Kuroo.

"I believe you both....don't leave me here...." you begged, now pulling at Kuroos clothing.

He opened his thighs, pulling you in closer before pulling down his own briefs.

"So I think we need to go over a few things then, ok?" He sighed, watching you calmly and stroking your hair.

"Yeah"

He pushed you forward roughly, filling your mouth and then continuing to talk.

"You killed that man, then we helped you bury him. You bullied Yaku after you knew he was depressed and then he jumped from the building. You promised not to talk about him or to him. Does that sound right?"

"H-mhm!" You moaned out as a confirmation, pleasing Kuroo as you did so.

"Good. So there'll be no more running away, right? And no more mood swings or arguments?"

For the first time in a while he allowed you to pull away from his crotch and catch your breath to reply.

"N-no arguments....I'll do what you say....because I'm....a liar...."

He stared down with a cold face- not saying another word before violently filling your mouth again.

It took a while but eventually he'd finished.

"You're taking me with you, right?"

They were both acting cold they you couldn't help but cling to them in hope of some affection.

"Fine. You can come. Don't act weird or we're bringing you back"


	44. ᴴᵃʰᵃʰᵃʰᵃʰᵃ ˢʰᵉ ᶜᵃᵐᵉ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ {44}

泳ぎに行こう、赤ちゃん

https://youtu.be/0gWNbUH6taw

覚えてる？

ははははは 覚えてる？

なぜあなたはそのように立っていましたか？

どうしてそんなに早くそこに着いたの？

どうやってそんなに近づいたのですか？あなたは彼が落ちたと言った

私はまたばかげているよね？

なんてばかげた考え

あなたは彼を救おうとしました

それでも...

仕方ない

あなたはあなたの話を台無しにした, 嘘だったの？

もちろん違います

私は嘘です

あなたは福音です

私はあなたの言葉に挑戦しません

https://youtu.be/yzHXtxcIkg4

真実はもう重要ですか？

あなたは私の真実になりました

私はあなたを信じています

あなたが話すすべてが私の真実になります

二人とも愛してるよ

私の福音、私のすべて、私の嘘の真実。 私の恋人。 私の真実。 私の現実、


	45. Snap {45}

"(Y/n), get up"

You turned over in the bed to see Kenma getting dressed into his school uniform- filling you with dread.

"I don't wanna go to school" you groggily whispered.

"I can't understand you when you suck your thumb" he mumbled.

After removing your thumb from your mouth you repeated the sentiment.

"I don't wanna go to school"

"You have to"

"Principal said we could have days off" you reminded him, turning away in the blanket.

"We shouldn't take advantage of it though- now hurry up before Kuroo gets here"

_I don't wanna go_

_I don't wanna_

_I hate school_

"You guys ready yet?" Kuroo waltzed through the door, dressed in his uniform, probably coming to take you both to school.

"Oh- why aren't you dressed?" He asked, eyeing your figure curled up in the bed.

"She said she didn't want to go" Kenma told him.

"(Y/n) come on"

"I don't wanna"

"Come on!" He yelled, throwing the uniform at you.

You lazily fling the blanket, grabbing the shirt with a groan.

Kuroo raised an eyebrow at Kenma upon seeing you without a shirt nor bra in his bed- Kenma just shrugged.

"You know what she's been like lately"

——————————

The only part of the day that made school somewhat bearable was that you were sat next to Kenma.

It was hard to concentrate on the work and it seemed he was finding it difficult too. You just stared at him, finding comfort in his presence.

_I hate it here_

_I want to go home_

_I want them to take me away_

"Stop being so touchy" he scolded you, smacking your hand away under the table from where you'd been gripping onto him.

_I can't even touch him here_

_I wanna go home_

_I wanna go home_

_I wanna go home where I can be with them_

It was an agonisingly long lesson- the moment you were dismissed you practically ran out of the classroom.

You and Kenma were headed towards the cafeteria (where you'd usually meet Kuroo) when you heard some snickering following you around.

'Why is she sucking her thumb?"

'Oh my god shut up she's looking!'

'What a freak-'

'Has she always done that?'

'It's fucking gross'

.....

_Who the fuck do they think they are?_

......

Ha,,,,haha,,,,

Kenma felt you physically tense up, and upon turning around he saw you start to shake.

"Ignore-"

He watched you launch yourself at the girl- landing a punch into her jaw and knocking her head back against the locker.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" The other girl screeched, pushing you back only to receive a similar violent treatment.

You didn't have enough room to land an effective punch so you grabbed onto her hair, took a step back and yanked her down to the floor. He watched you climb on top of her; this time you landed many blows to her face. Kenma wanted to stop it- the girl was damn near defenceless and if you kept going you might to some real damage-

You landed every hit with pure fucking rage as her head bounced off of the hard floor.

_If she gets hurt badly (y/n) is in deep shit-_

_I have to stop it-_

_Fuck-_

_Why can't I move?!_

It was like Kenma was glued in place.

Eventually the other girl ran up behind you and kicked you off of her friend who, by now, was sporting a bloody nose and swollen face.

The fight carried on from there but Kenma blanked out the rest of it.

Obviously a crowd had formed- it wouldn't be long before the teachers would find out and stop it but....Kenma couldn't do anything.

He froze.

_What the fuck?_

He'd never seen you lose your cool like that before- there was no warning or build up.

"Hey! What's going on!" A teacher cleared the way through the students watching, "Hey! Stop videoing- delete any videos you have! What happened?"

"That fucking psycho just attacked us!"

"(Y/n) go wait outside my office- you girls come with me"

The teacher walked off with the girls and another approached you.

"Come on-"

He watched you walk away with her, your nose covered in blood and your face vacant.

_What the..._

He followed after you quickly, earning a glare from the teacher.

"Were you involved?" They snapped at him.

"I-I was with (y/n)-"

"Then come with me so you can give a statement"

—————————

"What are you two doing here?" The principal asked the two boys who stood skulking about near his office, "Kozume you've already given your statement, you're free to go"

"We're waiting for (y/n)"

"You two should go to lessons, I'll deal with (y/n)"

"But I'm the one who takes her home and she's staying with Kenma at the moment so we need to know what's gonna happen" Kuroo argued.

He sighed.

"She's had a lot of stress lately Y'know..." He continued.

"Thankyou for your concern Kuroo but she can't just beat people up" the older man countered.

"I understand but she's just lashing out. Everything with Yaku and her stalker- it's been a lot for her. If she's already being suspended then I'd rather just take her home where she can calm down"

"We'll be calling her parents to take care of that"

"But she's staying with me" Kenma interjected, "she's scared of her house after her stalker broke in. If you send her back there it'll only make things worse"

"With all due respect, this is (y/n) and her parents decisions to make. If I need you I'll pull you from class, ok?"

They nodded, reluctantly leaving the hallway only to wander around the school. The period was almost over anyway-

"She'll want to stay with us...do you think her parents will let her stay with me after this?"

"It depends on what she told them" Kuroo sighed, "if they think she was being taunted then they might not be too harsh on her- especially with everything that's already happened"

"So as long as she told them the girls were taunting her she should be ok to come back with us..."

"Hopefully. You already told the teachers that they were mocking her right?"

"Yeah- I told (y/n) to tell them what they were saying and stuff so hopefully they just take pity on her"

—————————

To: (y/n)

From: Kuroo

You ok? What's happening?

To: Kuroo

From: (y/n)

I'm suspended for a week

To: (y/n)

From: Kuroo

And your parents? Are they still letting you stay with Kenma?

To: Kuroo

From: (y/n)

They said that since I was sticking up for myself that it was ok, but I had to beg them

To: (y/n)

From: Kuroo

Ok, wait for us where you usually do and we'll bring you home

So instead of going to volleyball practice like usual, they found you sat against the wire fence of the school, staring out at the sky.

"Hey, c'mon"

You turned slightly, offering a warm smile before gripping onto Kuroo and following him to the car.


	46. Useful {46}

"Why do you think she's started sucking her thumb? She never did that in public before-"

"It's like she's reverting back to childhood or something" Kenma mused.

"Eh, I'll google it later. What are we gonna do now she's suspended?"

"I'll stay with her Tuesday and Wednesday, you stay with her for Thursday and Friday" he shrugged.

"Y'know my dad was telling me that that thrift store was looking for some employees" Kuroo stated.

"Ok?"

"My dads friends with the owner so we'd definitely get a job- if (y/n) got a job there then we could just ask to work the same shifts. Why not? It's somewhere warm to hangout plus we'd be getting paid" Kuroo smiled.

"I don't know-"

"You'd never be there alone and you wouldn't have to deal with customers- there's WiFi and I'm pretty sure it's not usually that busy. The woman's really nice and since she knows me she'll probably be laid back"

"I guess....we should talk to the owner first though" the thought of getting a job- one involving interacting with the public- made Kenma itch; but kuroo had a point. None of them were making money and they certainly needed it after Kuroo spent almost all his money on their 'trip'. Maybe it's worth it- just to be prepared in case anything happens in the future.

—————————

The old woman stood with a wide smile as the three teenagers stood in front of her.

"Of course! We can work out a router. I'll do daytime and you can work after school, sound good?"

"Perfect!" Kuroo smiled.

"You can stay with me for the rest of tonight to get the hang of things"

_This place is so cluttered...._

Clothes were bunched up together along railings only to be surrounded by wall displays and hanging antiques or covered by random objects balanced peculiarly upon each other.

_I suppose there's some cool stuff here..._

The older lady showed you the basics of the till, promising to let you all take a turn when the next customer comes in. It didn't seem that hard.

"Here's the back room, the toilet is just here. About pay- since this business isn't booming you'll be paid around ¥671.10 per hour. It's not much but the work isn't hard and you can make yourselves comfortable"

Kuroo waved off her worries with a grin.

"It's fine, we're happy with the pay"

"Good! Now hours- how about 4pm-8:40pm? You'll be closing so you can drop the key off at my house until I get you a copy. I'll need two people in the shop- one on the till and the other out back going through the donations"

You all nodded.

_Only two at a time?_

"We hangout a lot anyway so if the one who's not working comes and helps would that be an issue?" Kuroo asked.

"Well no but don't be expecting extra pay" she warned.

"Oh no- it's just they live together anyway and I'm a neighbour so it'd be easier for us"

She nodded with a smile.

"That's fine"

Kuroo and the woman continued talking, exchanging numbers and chattering about how to handle different customers and deliveries.

You wandered off, examining the objects around the store.

_So many strange things.._.

———————-

It was late at night- Kuroo had gone home a while ago but made sure to mark up your skin with deep purple and blue hickeys.

It wasn't his fault- since everything became less real to you you'd more or less turned into a nymphomaniac. You were constantly touching and grabbing at them- even at school which was embarrassing for Kenma. It wasn't always sexual, sometimes you just wanted to sit on their laps or cuddle or grab onto them like a security blanket. However- it was clear that you were being a lot more sexual now than ever before.

Kuroo found it quite easy to deal with- in private he felt no need to hold back and in public he'd usually pull you onto his lap and be sneaky about where his hands wandered....

Kenma however didn't possess the confidence to do that and liked to keep things at home- which was lucky for him since you'd basically moved in with him.

You'd expressed no wishes to leave... you probably forgot that it was even an option at this point....

And since that day where they found you curled up and crying in a childlike state, you hadn't seen much emotion from them.

It made you crave it even more.

That's why- that night when you laid in bed covered in darkness, you almost cried from joy.

You heard some noise out in the hall and you ignored it- presuming it was Kenmas parents getting up early for work.

Then you heard the door creek open a little.

_Huh_

_Who?_

Still in a heavily drowsy state you turned over to see who it was to see a small figure peeping through the door.

"Kenma?"

He didn't say a word, just scooted in and closed the door.

"You ok?"

He was becoming a little clearer now- your eyes began adjusting to the darkness to be able to see his features.

Then you heard a little sniffle- followed by his footsteps getting closer and closer.

"Hey...." you sat up as he sat down on the bed next to you. The moonlight from the window oozed into the room and bounced off of his face giving you a clear view of his tear stained cheeks.

_What the..._

"Are you ok?" Your hand instantly reached up to his face, wiping away his tears.

He nodded, looking down at the bed before softly grabbing your hand.

Watching him lay down you tried to understand what was going on- this wasn't like Kenma at all....

Eventually you just laid down with him- face to face and holding one another tightly and occasionally placing a soft kiss to his lips.

"I love you...."

"I love you too"


	47. Bubbly {47}

You woke up late the next day. You and Kenma weren't going to school, so you could sleep in a little later than usual.

He didn't seem to want to talk about the night before, and you didn't want to ask about it and piss him off.

He'd turned on the TV and was watching some random show while you stayed curled up in the blankets with a stuffie.

"Kenma?"

"Hm?"

"Can we take a bath?"

"Together?"

"Mhm" you nodded innocently.

He seemed taken a back- and even got a little red in the face before slowly nodding.

You smiled earnestly at him and for the first time in a while he felt himself start to feel a little more normal.

"You can get the towels, I'll run the bath" he stated, leaving you to giddily run off like a child.

By the time you'd collected the towels and ran back to the bathroom the water was already pooling up in the tub.

"Can we have more bubbles?"

He just nodded with a smile, handing you the bottle of bubble bath. With fondness in his eyes he watched you pour an unbelievable amount of the mixture into the bath and giggle as the water foamed up.

"You wanna get in first?"

You nodded in glee, wasting no time in pulling Kuroos hoodie off of your body. Kenma had seen you naked multiple times now but still felt the need to look away- it just seemed like the decent thing to do. Luckily when you actually got in the bubbles seemed to cover most of you.

You let out a sigh as you sunk into the water.

"C'mon get in!"

"Umm..."

"I won't look!" You squeaked, covering your eyes with your bubble covered hands.

Soon enough you heard the splash of the water and felt Kenma nudge up next to you in the bath.

"You can look now"

You removed your hands to see Kenma at the other side peering over the mountain of bubbles.

He watched you giggle freely at nothing...

"I like bubbles y'know....I feel bubbly when I'm with you guys...."

"Bubbly?" He repeated.

"Bubbly....like....like there's bubbles in my head and behind my eyes and in my mind and the bubbles grow and grow until there's no room left...."

He stared at you through the bubbles, seeing the vacancy in your eyes and watching the your child like mannerisms.

"I just..." you giggled yet again, yet a few tears rolled down your cheek as you did so, "I feel bubbly"

"....c-C'mere...I'll wash your hair..."

You slowly closed your eyes, almost like you were dozing into a slumber, before nodding and turning your back to him.

He ran his hands down your sides slowly and played with your hair as he did so.

You felt his hands still before he pressed a small kiss to your neck. Slowly his hands snakes around your body, groping at your chest and thighs as you leaned back onto him.

As his fingers dipped lower than they probably should have you moved in to kiss him, your back pressed against his chest to allow him full access to your body.

"Turn over" he ordered, and you complied.

You turned until you straddled him and could lean down to press kisses against his lips as his hands continued to roam freely. Slowly his hands moved from your body to under the water where he positioned himself and pulled you down onto himself.

"I hope I make you happy kenma..." you moaned, the tears from earlier still visible.

"...you do...you really do..."

——————————

"Kenma" the boy was pulled aside by his mother.

"Is (y/n) doing ok? She seems... distant..."

"Uh... I don't know, I think she said she was stressed with exams or something" he lied. He lazily glanced over to the kitchen sink where you'd volunteered to wash up after having dinner.

"She's probably just tired" he shrugged.

"Are you sure? Maybe it's about that fight the other day- do you think she's being bullied? Maybe she just snap-"

"She's with me and Kuroo most days and we don't see anything so I doubt she's being bullied mom. It's fine, really- if it was anything serious she'd say something"

"Yeah...ok- just keep an eye on her. Ok?"

He nodded.

"(Y/n) sweetie, I'll finish up, you go get some rest" she proclaimed, sauntering into the kitchen and shooing you away from the sink.

"Thankyou"

Your eyes met Kenmas before he turned to walk away- obviously expecting you to follow. You did, as usual.

He led you up to his room, mostly clean as usual and full of games with a few of your own belongings scattered around the place from when you'd hang out or fall asleep in his room.

"Get into bed"

"Hm?" You lazily hummed.

While staring straight at you he pulled back the blanket to his bed and beckoned you to it.

"You're tired. It's obvious"

"Oh...it's fine- I'm always tired...no matter how much sleep I get-"

"(Y/n)- do as your damn told and get into bed" he snapped.

"Sorry" you bowed, falling into the bed and wrapping yourself in the covers. You'd already wrapped yourself up in comfy clothes and the fluffy duvet was just the cherry on top. It really filled you with glee- everytime you were given an opportunity to just rest- physically and emotionally and just not focus on anything. You smiled earnestly as your cheeks squished up against the soft materials on the bed.

He sat on the edge and stared down at you- stroking your hair vaguely before lying down to face you.

"Your mom called today" he spoke lowly.

"Hm"

"She wants to see you"

You looked to him, trying to gauge a reaction.

Do I want to see her?

Kenma...

Tell me what I want-

I don't know what I'm supposed to say

"If you want to see her you need to stop acting like this, ok?"

"...like what?"

"Like a child" he cooed, "it's fine to be yourself around me and Kuroo- but other people just don't understand you. The mom probably wants you to go back home where that man can watch you and where you'll be left alone again"

"Oh....."

"So when we take you to see her, you need to make sure you act how me and Kuroo tell you to, alright?"

"Yeah" you nodded in agreement.

"For now you can be yourself. I don't mind it- I think you're cute" he smiled.

"Thankyou" you giggled back.

He kissed your forehead before sitting up again and turning on the TV and leaving you to fall into a slumber.


	48. Pack {48}

"We start work on Monday"

"Mhm"

"Kuroo talked to the lady and we can start at 5pm now so we don't miss volleyball"

"That's good"

"We'll need to bring spare clothes to change out of our uniforms though"

"Yeah" you mumbled out.

You both were cuddled up on the couch, watching spirited away after an intense gaming session of mario cart. You'd bundled yourselves up in blankets and cushions until the room was practically a copy of Kenmas bedroom.

"Speaking of- when you go back to school on Monday you need to behave yourself" he stated.

"I will"

"So I don't care how upset you get you're not to lay a hand in anyone, ok?" He started, watching the movie as his fingers slowly massaged your hips, "you should know what me and Kuroo want by know"

You nodded.

_No fighting_

_No arguing_

_Don't ask about Yaku_

_Don't lie_

"How's everyone doing on the team?" You asked, not outright saying why you were concerned.

"They're ok"

... _does that mean Yaku is alive-_

_Or are they slowly getting over his death?_

_\- I'm not supposed to be concerned with Yaku_

_But is he even alive?_

"You've gotta stop sucking your thumb in public" he mumbled, tabbing on your thumb which was currently in your mouth.

"...but I don't even realise when I'm doing it..." you complained.

"I'll start pinching you when you do so you can stop"

You frowned a little at the suggestion.

"B-but it makes me feel calm..."

"You can do it in private. Not in public" he reinstated, "it's getting late now anyway, we should start packing you a bag for tonight"

"Hm we didn't do anything productive today at all" you flopped back on the couch.

"That's because you wanted to be babied all day- now c'mon. Kuroo should be here soon"

You nodded, getting up from the couch and following Kenma upstairs to your bedroom.

It would be the first night you'd be staying alone at Kuroos- it was pretty exciting but also... kinda daunting.

You loved both boys- but you'd obviously just become comfortable with Kenma. He had a much more laid back attitude, there were emotions beneath the surface but he was usually reserved. Kuroo however was...Kuroo.

He was taller, stronger, darker and more emotional than Kenma. If you messed up around Kenma he's be pissed but he'd usually just explain it to you calmly and wait for an apology and some sort of act to make up for it. Kuroo however seemed much more driven by his rage which kinda scared you when you realised you'd be alone with him.

_As long as I'm good then I won't get into trouble_

_His family's there anyway-_

_I just have to be good_

_I can be good_

_I've been good for them for a while now_

_It's nothing_

_It should come naturally_

_I'm a good person_

_I'm trying to be a good person_

While deep in your thoughts you felt Kenma rip something from your hand.

"You're not wearing this..."

"Huh..- why?"

"Kuroo will hate it- I hate it. Why do you even own it?"

"I thought it was cute"

He looked at you, slightly disgusted.

"You're not wearing things like this" he sighed, tossing the top into the trash can in the corner of the room.

"...but I liked it-"

He just ignored you, shooing you away as he packed for you.

"Go get your toothbrush and anything else you need"

When you returned with your toiletries you placed them in the bag only to find it was basically empty.

"Where's everything else?" You asked.

"Hm?"

"This is just underwear and socks?"

"You'll wear Kuroos clothes"

"Oh..."

———————

Kenma gave you strict instructions to sit and wait on the bed. It wouldn't be long before Kuroo showed up so you sat with your backpack on and legs crossed in silence.

_C'mon hurry up!_

You heard a bang downstairs, followed by the familiar voice.

_Here's here!_

You practically raced downstairs, sick of the silence you'd endured for the past hour.

"Hi!"

"Hello!" Kuroo smiled back as you ran to him and embraced him in a hug, "someone's excited"

"Hm- (y/n)"

"Yeah?" You turned to Kenma, Kuroos hand resting on your shoulder.

"I told you to stay upstairs until I came to get you"

"I-oh! Right....sorry" you squeaked, moping away back you the stairs to sit in the stupid silence again.

You sat there, bouncing on the bed in impatience as you waited for some sort of sign.

"Hey (y/n)!?"

"Yeah?!"

"C'mon lets go!"

The boys watched you toddle downstairs, bouncing on each step before embracing Kenma and pecking his lips.

"Bye!"

"See ya later" he smiled, rubbing the small of your back before you walked off with Kuroo.

"How've you been street fighter?"

"Good!" You nodded with a smile, following him, "why're we going in the car?"

"To go to the hotel"

"Hotel? I..."

"Oh, we cant really stay at my house. We haven't got a spare bedroom and my family would probably suspect something"

"Oh...oh yeah ok...that's fine"

He smiled, opening the door for you. While putting your bag in the back seat you noticed Kuroos bag along with some food and soda.

"Kenma didn't pack me any clothes by the way"

"I know"

"Ok..."

"He told you about work, right?"

"Yeah he did"

"Good " he smiled, "it's gonna be nice to have some time together, isn't it?"

"Mhm! I'm excited, which hotel are we going to?"

"Just a small one, few miles away, nothing fancy"

"O-"

"We need to talk later. When we get there I mean"

"About what?"

"You'll find out when we get there"


	49. Crawl {49}

Kuroo wasn't lying when he said the hotel wasn't anything fancy.

It was almost endearing in a way- these sort of run down, well-loved places that have walls that have seen more than you could imagine kind of made you feel comfort. You'd gotten so used to them.

"Hi I made a reservation a few days ago"

"Name?"

"Kuroo Tetsurou"

"Hmm- Yep! Room 7, here you go" the older man stood behind the rustic counter handed over the key to Kuroo.

Next to the reception there were some badly lit stairs with gaudy, cracked paint across the walls. Everything seemed glossy and if it wasn't glossy then it was thick and covered in brush strokes.

_Cheap_

Kuroo had a large backpack full of food and soda and another sports bag with his clothes inside. You only brought a small backpack due to the lack of possessions Kenma allowed you to bring- nevertheless Kuroo pulled you along by your hand, your other one against your face as you sucked on your thumb.

"I think we're on this floor...yup! Here it is" he shoved the key in and opened the door. You stood behind him, eager to see the room; though you didn't have high expectations from what you'd seen downstairs.

Kuroo waltzed in like he owned the place, throwing his bad on the bed and dumping his backpack on one of the chairs. 

It wasn't a big room, it had a bed, weather outdated TV, two small tables, two small chairs and two lamps.

_It's ok_

_We're not staying here long_

_Besides- I've been quite lazy recently so it's not like I'll need much room_

"It's getting quite late" he yawned. He picked you up at around 7pm, it was quite a long journey (mainly because you got lost multiple times and kept stopping either for food or to look at the pretty things you passerby).

By now it was around 9:30pm and dark outside.

"Wanna bet on how many channels this thing has?" He asked, knocking on the TV, "Imma go with 3"

"Brave of you to assume it even works" you laughed back as he reached down to the wall to switch it on. It flickered to static time your surprise.

"Heres the remote"

He flicked a few buttons until some random show appeared.

"Huh...has a few ok channels I guess...you ok with some random cooking shows?"

You nodded up at him with sitting on the bed.

He switched on the lamps and tuned of the big light before pulling off his short and dumping the bag on the floor beside the bed. 

"You're not gonna sleep in your clothes are you?"

"I didn't bring any pyjamas"

He just shrugged.

"Sleep in your underwear- I am"

_It is hot-_

_Plus I'm wearing jeans_

You cautiously looked to him before removing your clothes. He was too busy moving around the bags and snacks inside to even notice you.

"Hey Kuroo"

"Yah?"

"Can i have one of your shirts? Sleeping in bras is uncomfortable"

"Uh yeah sure, here" he handed you the shirt he'd just pulled off.

"Y'know you should just stop wearing bras"

You didn't reply to the comment, instead just putting on the shirt and removing the bra underneath.

"Night Tetsu"

"Night" he smiled, kissing your head and pulling you in like a teddy bear.

_He's so big_

_He keeps me so warm and safe_

—————————

"Kuroo?"

"Yeah?" He shouted out from the shower.

"Have you seen my bra?"

"I thought you said it was uncomfortable?"

"It is bu-"

You heard the shower screech and then stop followed by the thud of footsteps after.

"I threw it away, I guessed you didn't want it since you didn't like it" he shrugged.

"Kuroo those are expensive-"

"Don't waste your money on them then" he waltzed past you, towel hanging loosely around his waist as the water drilled from his hair.

"Here" he handed you another t shirt from his bag before picking out some clothes for himself and walking back into the bathroom.

_Am I just supposed to wear his t shirts all the time?_

_No pants-?_

You sighed while rummaging through your own bag, picking out a new pair of underwear and changing into them before changing shirts too. The more you rummaged through your things the more wound up you got.

_They're just throwing away my things like they're nothing-_

"Where did you even throw my bra away? You haven't left the room-" you erupted, not even noticing until now that you'd been crying out of sheer irritation.

"Put it in the trash and the cleaning lady took it" he stated, emerging from the bathroom in grey sweats, a playing black t shirt and a towel in hand to dry his hair.

"You can't just throw my stuff away like that-"

"(Y/n) enough-"

"They're mine and you can't just do that-" you stomped your foot angrily in frustration, only appearing more like a sulky child to Kuroo.

"Enough-"

"I wouldn't ever throw your things away so-"

"I said-" he shouted out, gripping your cheeks harshly and squishing your face before speaking lowly again, "enough. I didn't bring you here to deal with an attitude"

"You have an attitude!" You retorted, ignoring your tears and shoving your thumb into your mouth almost instantly after the outburst.

"Oh really? Because the last time I checked you were the one that got kicked out of school and you are the one that murdered someone. Throwing away a damn bra that you didn't even like isn't a patch on the shit you've put me and Kenma through these past few months." he slowly pulled your hand away, stroking it softly as he spoke.

You clenched your jaw.

"Now behave" he whispered, leaning in closer before pulling back and looking down on you with dark eyes.

There was a long pause before he spoke again, he didn't look at you and spoke in a monotone voice.

"You know when me and Kenma do things it's because it's what's best for you. Just because you don't see it straight away doesn't mean you get to throw a tantrum over it" he turned around to look at you, "throw another tantrum like that and I'll drive you straight back to your parents house and you can deal with everything on your own again"

_Shit_

_No_

That familiar feeling came crashing back down on you. The feeling of the attention and love that you craved and needed being ripped away from you within seconds.

_I need them_

_I need it_

_I need them to touch me and want me and love me and keep me safe and be around me and care for me and do things with me and baby me and take care of me and tell me what to do_

_I'm lost without them_

_I'd be fucking lost_

_I can't go back home_

_They can't send me back home!_

_Nobody else would understand!_

_Nobody else would want me if they knew what I did-_

_They'd all hate me_

_Everyone would hate me-_

"...I...I'm sorry...." you bit your lip, holding back tears as you looked down to your lap.

_God shut up (y/n)_

_Shut up shut up shut up!_

_Shut up shut up shut up!_

_They almost left me once before because I kept messing up_!

"I'm just irritated I didn't mean it! It's just a bra- besides I told you I didn't like it anyway so it makes sense that you'd throw it away because you thought I didn't want it so you were just doing me a favour! It was stupid anyway- I-I'm sorry"

"I know you are" he hummed, sitting on the bed next to you and pulling you into his lap, the shirt rising up in the process and exposing your underwear.

"But it seems you keep doing it" he hummed, his fingers slowly dancing on your inner thighs and his eyes carefully searched every inch of you, "So I was thinking...everytime you act out of line or are ungrateful, you should get a punishment"

"Punishment?"

"Mhm. Kenma said you've been quite childish lately- and as endearing as it is there are also problems such as these tantrums of yours"

"I-I'm sorry"

"I know you're sorry now, but you're always sorry in hindsight, right?"

"...yeah..."

"And the best way to train yourself into preventing these things is to remind yourself that there's a punishment for every wrongdoing"

"...do you want to hurt me?..."

"What?" Oh no no no" he smiled, his hand moving to cup your face, "just a small punishment is all that's needed. Kenma told me to be strict with you so realistically I should be taking you to your parents house right now but....I mean, it's you! We can let this slide and keep it a secret, right? You can make up for it can't you?"

You nodded furiously with wide, tears eyes and a pout.

"But you know I'm really sorry a-and-" you tried to connect with him while he was in a more loving mindset, hoping he'd let you off this time.

"Trying to talk your way out of it is really just going to piss me off more" he stared blankly, making your heart skip a beat.

You nodded.

"You're right"

"I'm glad we agree"

With that he pushed you to the floor and walked towards the bathroom.

"Ow-"

"Don't get up" he barked from the doorway, watching you try to drag yourself up from the floor.

"Huh..."

"Your punishment. Don't get up. If you want to go somewhere then crawl"


	50. Sadist {50}

Kuroo left a while ago.

He didn't say where he was going, why or how long it would take; he just reminded you that you were not to get up.

You'd 'lost those privileges' according to him.

Sure, with him gone you could probably get away with standing up and going about your business as usual, But Kuroo had this superhuman way of just controlling you.

You felt the need to do as he said, you felt the need to please him and make him happy to the point that you almost felt content being punished.

You were always trying to prove something to him, and it was never enough so you could never stop.

_He's gonna see how red my knees are and be impressed_

_But I wonder how long he'll take to get back..._

_What's he doing..._

Lately your insecurity had been growing. You felt like they were becoming bored of you...

Or maybe they were just sick of your behaviour-

Either way it meant your mind wandered to some painful places.

_What if they replace me..._

_What if they're cheating or like another girl more-_

_What if Kuroo left me to go sleep with someone else_

_What if Kenma has someone at his house right now_

_Kuroo could be-_

You sat alone in the room, on the floor, dreading the unknown.

_Fuck_

_I need to stop crying at everything_

_I think I'll just sleep..._

_Then I can't think_

You wiped away the tears and ignored the feeling of dread and pain shooting through your heart as you crawled towards the bed and slipped beneath the covers.

It was a while later when you woke up, you eyes slowly praying open as your confused min tried to process where you were again.

"You awake yet?" Kuroos soft voice asked, kneeling down to your sleeping figure.

You simply nodded.

"You been crying again?"

You ignored him, searching his neck for any sign of infidelity.

"Hey? You ok?" He repeated softly- his voice almost matching a motherly tone.

He wasn't expecting you to pull him close, sniffing at his shirt as you did so.

"Ok what are you doing?"

_No perfume_

You pulled back, still in your air headed state of tiredness.

"Nothin'"

He raised his eyebrow.

"Where'd you go?"

"I went to get some pot"

You nodded.

"You stayed on your knees right?" He asked with a smile.

"Yup!" You suddenly jumped up in excitement, pulling back the blanket to reveal the carpet burn on your knees.

"Ohoho! Well done" he soothed, running his hand down your thigh.

"You want a joint?"

"Yeah sure"

You sat on the bed cross legged, watching Kuroo roll up the papers and hand one to you before offering you a light and opening up the window.

It didn't take you long to smoke it, and when you finished you just flopped back onto the bed.

"Can you come cuddle with me?"

He put out the joint, blowing the smoke out the window before walking over to you and laying down on top of your body.

"I got something else while I was out y'know" he mumbled.

"Mhm?"

With a smile he rolled you both over so you were not on top before I'm he sat up to reach over to the bag- that's when he pulled out a leash and collar.

You didn't say anything but he knew that you knew what they were for.

"I think you'd enjoy it, don't you?"

"...is it part of my punishment?"

"Not at all"

"And...you want to use it on me?"

He nodded smugly.

"I know you're not boring like that- besides, you like making me happy, don't you?"

"Yeah"

"Well this would make me really happy"

_I'm not against the idea per say..._

_We've never tried it before either_

_He said it'd make him happy-_

_It makes sense._

_Kuroos a sadist...I should let him explore these things with me_

"...ok then..."

The muscular boy wasted no time in buckling up the collar around your throat.

"Put your arms up" he asked before pulling off the shirt he'd let you wear- leaving you bare for him to look at in nothing but your underwear.

You watched him carefully as his fingers ghosted ever so slightly against your chest before reaching up to the leather collar and attaching the leash.

_He seems really into this..._

The glee and arousal was practically oozing from Kuroo and although it was shocking it wasn't surprising.

Kuroos violence mixed with his sadism meant that even-though you liked being submissive for him- it was always mixed with a very real fear of what he was actually capable of.

Ripping you out of your thoughts Kuroo pulled harshly at the leash to pull you from the bed.

"Hey!" He bellowed as you tried to regain your composure, "stay on your knees"

"Sorry"

He patted at his thighs as if motioning to a dog.

_Does he want me to-_

You crawled over on your sore knees and sat up at his feet, hands resting against his thighs while you stared up to him.

He reached over to the bed, throwing a pillow on the floor behind you.

"Lie down on your back"

You carefully positioned yourself back against the soft pillow and waited for further instruction.

"Touch yourself"

————————

The next morning Kuroo woke with a similar attitude to the day before. It seemed that when he wasn't being sadistic he was actually rather attentive.

That didn't erase the fact that he was still sadistic though as you soon found out. However you couldn't bring yourself to be mad- you got upset out of insecurity and thought he was cheating but when he came back to you all he wanted to do was be with you in the most intimate way. Maybe you'd always been a masochist, or maybe it was just Kuroos dominance that just scared you into liking it- whatever it was you didn't mind. He was with you and paying you full attention and that was all you could ask for.

After your shower you crawled next to the chair where he tied up the leash to the wooden structure to keep you in place.

Last nights activities lasted a rather long time, and he really wore you out. By the early hours of the morning you were still a mess with tears running down your face while Kuroo pulled you around on the leash and manhandled you every chance he go. You didn't mind though.

You did mind sleeping in the collar and him refusing to give you any clothes other than your underwear. But it's what he's in to...

Even when the sex stopped he carried on with the leash and ordering you to crawl- it's almost like it went beyond just a kink for him.

Anyway- Kuroo was more than aware that this was the last day before you went back home.

You would both set off at around 3:15 to get back in time to meet Kenma, and Kuroo intended on making the best of your time alone. That's why when he came out from the shower he didn't even bother getting ready or drying himself off; he marched straight over to you, grabbing the leash and dragging you up to the bed.


	51. First day {51}

Kuroo brought you home as planned and the weekend went without a hitch.

Kuroo explained to a slightly sulky Kenma about all the marks left on you and after than everything was normal- apart from Kenmas occasional snide comment about how hard the hickeys and bruises would be to cover up.

You all watched movies together, played games and pigged out just like old times.

You'd gotten so comfortable that the idea of going back to school had become quite daunting. 

"You're in my class so it's not like you're gonna be alone. Just don't punch anyone and everything will be fine" Kenma told you.

Still, even putting your school uniform on filled you with anxiety.

You all arrived at Nekoma a little early like usual, you and Kenma only wandering off to your class when the bell rang.

Like clockwork all the students came in and filled the empty seats, the teacher joining not long after.

"Good morning everyone" he greeted, logging into his laptop as he did so the take register.

_Just chill out_

_It's school_

_I've been here hundreds of times before_

"Okay class" the man smacked his hands together, stopping all the murmuring and bringing the attention onto himself, "today we will be using tutor time to talk about a very sensitive topic. We will be discussing sexual exploitation and abuse and how to prevent it or find help for yourself of a friend who may be going through something similar"

You zoned out already. Monday morning were your least favourite for this reason; tutor time was always used for some small lecture on 'real life issues'.

Last week the teacher gave a presentation on some sort of business thing that nobody understood because he was too hung over to form a sentence properly.

__

_**"So, does anyone know the definition of 'sexual exploitation'?"** _

__

_**The class stayed silent, many already half asleep.** _

__

_**"Ok then" he mumbled, switching to the next slide, "sexual exploitation is actual or attempted abuse of a position of vulnerability, power, or trust, for sexual purposes, including, but not limited to, profiting monetarily, socially or politically from the sexual exploitation of another"** _

__

_**You turned to Kenma who seemed very uninterested, so much so that he'd almost fallen asleep.** _

__

_**"This means that somebody can use somebody's vulnerabilities against them to profit sexually from said vulnerable person. This can be seen with adults who target kids but is also surprisingly common in seemingly normal relationships. It is classed as a type of sexual abuse- however what sets this aside from other abuse types is that the victim is often manipulated into believing that there is nothing wrong with what is happening" he carried on before switching slides again.** _

__

_**"Can anyone tell me any warning signs that you or a friend may be facing some sort of sexual abuse or abuse in general?" He asked again.** _

__

_**Yet again the class fell silent.** _

__

_**"Hm, Runa , how about you? Got any ideas?"** _

__

_**The girl briefly thought before answering.** _

__

_**"Controlling you- like not letting you see or speak to certain people"** _

__

_**"Perfect example. Abusers want to give you as little opportunity to get help and will isolate you as an attempt to keep you from doing so. Anyone else? Akemi?"** _

__

_**The boy suddenly stiffened up in his seat, clearly nervous and trying to come up with an answer.** _

__

_**"Umm...hurting you...or like...threatening you"** _

__

_**"Again, a good answer! Although this may seem obvious a lot of signs of physical abuse can be missed or simply brushed off. Even if things never get physical your partner should not threaten you with things to manipulate you. Ok, next question; if both people involved consent, can it still be rape or abuse?"** _

__

_**"No because they've both agreed" a boy from the back groans, only to be met by the same girl from earlier butting in.** _

__

_**"Yes because one of them might not be in the right state of mind. If someone is drunk, drugged, has any mental handicap or has a threat hanging over their head they can be pressured into saying yes even if they don't want to and some don't have the power to fight back or refuse"** _

__

_**"Perfect answer Runa" the teacher praised, "for example,if you find someone drunk at a party and they can't barely stand or talk- having sex with that person would be considered rape because they are not in a correct mind state to consent. Another more niche example could be using sex as a tool or apology or threat. This is very common in abusive relationships where the victim will do something that annoys the abuser- from there on the abuser will use that to manipulate the other party into having sex. They could say things such as 'oh well I don't believe you're sorry, you'll have to prove it' or 'I'll leave you if you don't do this'"** _

__

_**Prove it....** _

_**But-** _

__

_**Sex can be used to prove you love someone...** _

__

_**"-Sex is an intimate act to show love and should never be used as a way to 'prove' something to another person"** _

__

_**"How do we know we can trust you?"** _

_**"Because I love you"** _

_**"Then prove it"** _

__

__

_**So...** _

_**It's not ok...?** _

__

_**"Taking advantage of a person in a vulnerable situation for your own personal gain is classed as exploitation. If someone has experienced a trauma or is struggling with a substance addiction etcetera etcetera, and another person uses those things against them, it can be very damaging to the person"** _

__

_**Trauma** _

_**Using a trauma against them** _

__

_**'Oh really? Because the last time I checked you were the one that got kicked out of school and you are the one that murdered someone. Throwing away a damn bra that you didn't even like isn't a patch on the shit you've put me and Kenma through these past few months'** _

__

_**"So these things piled up can start to weigh down on a person. Being isolated and not allowed to see people without permission or observation-"** _

__

**_"Do you wanna go cancel your appointment with the councillor?"_ **

__

_**"Your mom called today"** _

**_"She wants to see you"_ **

**_"If you want to see her you need to stop acting like this, ok?"_ **

**_"So when we take you to see her, you need to make sure you act how me and Kuroo tell you to, alright?"_ **

__

"Being hurt or threatened-"

__

**_"What if we want to break up?"_ **

**_"throw another tantrum like that and I'll drive you straight back to your parents house and you can deal with everything on your own again"_ **

__

"An abuser may also make descisions for you without consulting you first-"

__

_**"You're not wearing this.."** _

_**"Kuroo will hate it- I hate it. Why do you even own it?"** _

_**"You're not wearing things like this"** _

_**"You'll wear Kuroos clothes"** _

_**"I threw it away, I guessed you didn't want it since you didn't like it"** _

"Or gaslight and hold you to promises that you never made or lie and say they didn't make a promise when they actually did. This way it makes the victim question their sanity and start to rely solely on their abuser"

_**"You literally said you'd avoid him out of respect for Kenma"** _

_**"But I told you....I don't trust me either...I trust you guys"** _

The bell rang, cutting through the classroom and signalling the beginning of first period. As the class moved on you couldn't help but think back to what your teacher had said.

_Threats_

_Isolation_

_Gaslighting_

_....._

_It all had a very clear solution- leave the abuser._

But what if you're scared to?

Ha

_What am I saying_

_Why would I care?_

_I don't even know anyone in this kind of situation_

_I don't...._

_I..._

_I don't-_

You didn't look to Kenma, but you could feel his eyes burning holes into you.

_It's stupid to think like that-_

_I live with Kenma..._

_Kuroo helped me-_

_But..._

_I..._

You tried to forget what had been said, focusing on your work and the excitement of starting a new job tonight.

However it nagged at you the whole day. So much so that you scribbled down a question that had been eating away at you and left it on the teachers desk that afternoon when nobody was looking.


	52. Ownership {52}

"You brought spare clothes right?"

"I packed her bag, she's got some" Kenma stated.

_I had no idea that he put clothes in there._

_Honestly I forgot we had work tonight-_

_I never even bother with my school bag anymore- Kenma always takes care of it...._

"We'll just change in the spare room"

You sighed heavily, thinking about that morning and everything you'd been told.

_I already knew all of that information-_

_I already knew what manipulation was and sexual exploitation but-_

_Why does it all seem so blurry now?_

_Am I overreacting?_

_Or am I just trying to convince myself it's fine?_

"You excited (y/n)?"

"...I suppose"

It didn't take long for you all to get to the small store, Kuroo pulling up and mumbling something to himself before getting out of the car, you and Kenma following suite.

As you entered the small bell rang letting the owner know that you'd entered and the small woman soon rushed out from the back room with a smile.

"Hello!" She smiled, "ready for your first day?"

"Yep!"

"Ok, my number is behind the counter, call if you need anything. You remember where everything is, right?"

Kuroo smiled again, not even panicking a little bit.

"Yeah, well call if we need anything"

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow then, good bye"

"Bye" you all chimed.

_She's being so laid back because we're barely getting paid for this..._

"I'm going to change" you said, only to be stopped by Kenma grabbing at your waist.

"Uh- w-wait lemme double check your bag"

"What?" You asked, opening up your bag to look for yourself.

"Pass it here-"

"She's fine kenma, just let her get changed" Kuroo spoke clearly, placing a hand on Kenmas shoulder. The smaller boy didn't seem too pleased about it- looking almost nervous actually.

"Go on" Kuroo smiled.

_That's strange..._

_Was it something to do with this morning?_

_Kenma kept staring at me during that lesson..._

When you got into the back room you could finally look through your bag properly- and it puzzled you more than anything.

In the bag where some white clothes you'd never seen before. You pulled out the fabric, revealing a white lace dress.

It wasn't ugly per se- but you'd never seen this dress before in your life.

It was vintage looking, covered in lace and mesh.

_What the...?_

At the very bottom of the bag laid the collar Kuroo had bought at the hotel.

_They want me to wear it in public?_

_ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ_

_And where the fuck did this dress come from-_

"Kenma?"

"Yeah"

"Who's is this?" You asked, peering out from the room and holding up the dress.

"Yours"

"No it-"

"Just hurry up and get ready in case customers start coming in"

"Oh right....sorry"

You did as you were told, desperately trying to push your feelings away.

ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ

_The dress isn't necessarily bad..._

_I'm not going out anywhere fancy so it doesn't matter...._

_Did he buy it for me?_

_Was it his moms?_

_When did he even put that in there?_

_Is he trying to choose my clothes now since he doesn't like the ones I pick?_

_Why something so modest?_

_Why something so...pure?_

You looked down at the smooth fabric over your body...

_Strange_...

You slowly walked out, feeling weird.

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah-"

"You sure?" Kuroo quipped.

"...yeah?"

"Go double check the bag, there should be something else in there..."Kenma said calmly.

_The collar...._

_I can't wear that in public-_

_What the hell-_

_I..._

Tears pricked at your eyes and all of a sudden you felt rather stupid and rather hopeless.

_It's just like a choker-_

_But..._

_Something about it feels off._

_I don't think it's just a necklace or accessory to them..._

_It feels like something more ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵒˡˡⁱⁿᵍ_

Even with the discomfort eating away at you, you didn't feel like you could say no.

So you put it in with shaking hands, checking it in the mirror to do the buckle up correctly.

_It feels like there's so much more to this that I'm not aware of..._

_Like they're exploiting me..._

_Like they're getting something out of it without me knowing-_

You pushed it aside, strolling out of the room with a red face, watching Kuroo grin as he noticed the collar.

_Just pretend it's a choker_

_Even if that's not how they see it..._

The rest of the shift went smoothly- probably because you'd zoned out most of the time.

Kuroo handled the customers, Kenma played his game mostly and you awkwardly stumbled around, admiring the array of objects until it was finally dark outside and time to go.

You dropped off the keys and went back to Kenmas house- his mom gave a smile and a compliment on the dress before you toddler upstairs and locked yourself in your room for the rest of the night.


	53. What if? {53}

"In light of yesterday's lesson I'd also like to carry on an answer a question that some of you may have"

_Is he going to answer the question I left?_

"What do you do if you're too scared to leave your partner?" Your teacher pondered, "this is a very interesting question and quite complex. The bottom line is if you're scared to leave your partner then there is likely already a problem in a relationship- whether you're being physically abused, gaslighted or emotionally abused- you should never be afraid of your partner. If your fear stems from being alone after the breakup counselling is always available and you can confide in a friend or teacher"

_It's my question..._.

"Some people when faced with a breakup may turn violent, may threaten suicide or blackmail or even just guilt trip you into trying to stay- if you're partner does any of these things they are an abuser"

_An abuser..._.

"If you want to break up with someone but are too scared to do so, you should tell the adults and loved ones around you about the situation. Depending on the situation you could try breaking up in a public place or with others around you to protect you."

_Tell someone...?_

_But..._

_What if I can't?_

_What if I'm trapped-_

_What if they have dirt on me?_

_What if it's more than one person?_

_What if I'm not innocent and I don't deserve to be happy?_

_What if I'm a murderer?_

_What if I can't get away-_

_What if I'm not a good person and don't deserve a good life?_

_What if they could ruin my life?_

Kenmas eyes flicked over to yours before he whispered out to you.

"You ok?"

"Yeah"

—————————

"By the end of this week we should have 29,270¥ all together" Kuroo spoke out as you glanced over the box of new objects in the store.

"Cool"

"I've got a money pot in my room so we can keep it all there"

You'd been given the job of sorting through the box of new items at the shop while Kenma cleaned and Kuroo worked the till.

"Can I buy this?" You asked hin, turning around to show the colouring book and small pack of crayons that went with it.

"How much is it?"

"277.78¥ "

"Yeah sure" Kuroo agreed, reaching into his pocket and putting some change into the till.

You wore the white dress again, along with the collar.

Honestly you couldn't wait to get home and go to sleep.

Home...

Home?

You'd been going home all this time but.... you hadn't...

_Kenmas home isn't my home..._

_Since when had I-_

It dawned on you how easily you slipped into this lifestyle.

Suddenly you referred to Kenmas house as your home and the spare room as yours...without even noticing...

_I want to go to my actual home..._

_Just do it like the teacher said..._

_I'll go back home so I don't have to rely on them-_

_Then I'll talk to them in public and tell them I don't want to date anymore_

_Then it'll be ok_

_I'll be fine_

_I've just got to get through this_

_But after everythin_ g _that's happened-_

.......

_They know what I did-_

_They know where the body is_

_They could ruin my life-_

_But would they?_

_They're different to how they used to be_

"Can you drop me off at my house tonight Kuroo?" You nervously whimpered.

"Hm?"

Kenma turned to you, eyes dark as he waited for an explanation.

"Why?" Kuroo asked.

"I...just want to go home..."

"Yeah, but why?" He repeated.

"...I just want to see my parents"

"But most of your things are at my house"

"I'll have my uniform and pyjamas at home-"

"So does that mean we'll have to bring all your stuff back? Because gas costs money and we've got other things to do-" Kuroo groaned in frustration.

_I've got all the time in the world to do this-_

_I don't want to piss them off._

_I need to do this slowly._

"Never mind then, I'll organise it for another time" you brushed off your prior comment, pretending it didn't mean much. It did.

"Can I go sit in the back? I feel sick."

"Sure, shout if you need anything" Kuroo stated.

You wasted no time is picking up your colouring book and running off to the back room.

_I just want to go home_

"I think she wants to leave" Kenma whispered, watching you close the door behind you.

"I know"

When Kenma came to check on you he found your colouring book spread across the floor and your figure sound asleep on the couch with your thumb in your mouth.

"Hey....(y/n)"

"Hm?"

"C'mon, you can sleep at home, we gotta go"

The feeling of a small arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you up brought you back to reality.

—————————

Kuroo gave you a kiss Goodnight before you left him to go home.

It was yet again just you and Kenma.

_It's all different now..._

_I know what they're doing_

_I know what kind of people they are-_

_..._

_They haven't ever hit me but..._

_Emotional manipulation..._

_It still counts right?_

_I mean..._

_There's no evidence of it..._

_That's what makes me doubt it..._

_But sir said it was unhealthy_

"(Y/n)?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you having second thoughts about us?" Kenma outright asked.

It was late now, his parents were in bed and you both stood alone in the kitchen- the only light coming from the open fridge as you sat in front of it looking for some food.

"....no....."

_I have to do this safely_

_Sir said to do it in public or around people I trust-_

_I shouldn't tell him when I'm alone_

"Good" he smiled, "because I've been getting a cold feeling from you lately....and I think it'd be a little crappy if you to put me and Kuroo through all of that just to leave us, don't you think?"

"....yeah....."

"I mean... witnessing a murder and then being forced to cover it up is not only traumatising for us but also very illegal.... you'd probably never see your family again if it got out"

....

_Is he threatening me...?_

"I know"

"I was just making sure- just trying to refresh your memory. We put ourselves in danger for you. Don't make us change our minds"

"....I...I won't...."

He leaned down, kissed you on the forehead and ushered you back upstairs where he followed you into your room.

_I guess he's staying with me tonight..._

_He's definitely catching on...._

_They don't want me to leave..._

_With all the dirt they have on me it makes me wonder what lengths they'll go to to keep me...._


	54. Home {54}

It was 3:42 AM to be exact.

Kenma knew because he'd woken up to find you gone from where he'd kept you in his bed.

Upon scouring the upstairs of his house he found you sat at the top of the stairs, staring blankly with your thumb in your mouth.

"What're you doing?"

"......"

"C'mon, come back to bed" he yawned, tugging at your arm and pulling you back to reality.

Your absent, unintentional stare changed into a deliberate stare of avoidance as you walked back with him.

_I don't even want to talk_

_I don't even want to think anymore_

_Maybe if I leave without giving them a heads up it'll be safer..._

The boy wrapped himself up in the blanket before seemingly changing his mind and deciding to hover above you.

_I always thought his eyes were pretty..._

_They still are_

_I'm still amazed by them but now I'm also... scared?_

_No-_

_Unsure-_

_It's a feeling I can't describe_

_I'm not sure what I see in his eyes and that's what makes it scary-_

_I don't know_

_It's ominous and so dangerously beautiful_

While you were looking at Kenma which so much uncertainty and uneasiness, he stared right back at you like you were the most fragile thing in the world.

"Oh (y/n)...." he sighed slowly, "what have you done?"

It was a whisper that barely creeped into your mind but it stuck there nevertheless.

_What have I done_

His sharp, preying eyes watched your half lidded ones lazily look to him and offer a completely and utterly exhausted look.

You shrugged at the question.

The boys hands cupped your cheek- then gripped your chin and moved your head slowly side to side as if analysing something dear to him.

Finally letting you cuddle into the cushion, his usually polite hands slowly ran down your torso. Kenma was propped up beside you as you laid on your back, leaving you vulnerable and open to him.

Even though he made you uneasy- even though his intentions seemed bad at the least and his small words held more power over you than you'd ever like to admit- you felt the need to be close.

Whether it was some weird coping mechanism, a strange survival instinct drilled into humanity or just an intense urge to make the feelings stop- you reached up to the boy and pulled him down with you to cuddle.

It felt safer when he was closer- like he couldn't watch you as much- or if he did it was with your consent.

The next day was boring- bland; infact you couldn't really remember it. It was just a passing blur blended into a much bigger fuzzy blur that warped your brain. Infact you fell asleep during multiple lessons that day.

You didn't talk to either of them that much. You stood quiet in the corner- most people just assumed you were in a bad mood and asked if you were ok but neither Kenma or kuroo asked about the source of your misery.

Even when school finished, you stayed silent.

When work came is when you really needed to get your mind into focus.

"I'm tired, can I just go nap in the back?" You begged groggily.

"Yeah" came a small reply from kenma.

"Do you want my jacket?" Kuroo offered- you'd usually used his blazer as a make shift blanket in the past when napping.

With a nod, he passed you his jacket and you waddled off into the back room.

_Ok_

_They'll probably come check on me in a bit-_

_So I've got to pretend to nap_

_I've got to stay awake though_

It didn't take long for things to go as you had planned-

You'd kept yourself busy until you heard someone approaching, then you snuggled in and pretended to be asleep.

A faint 'y/n?' Danced through the air before the door was closed and you were left alone again.

_C'mon-_

_It shouldn't take that long-_

_Customers are most likely at this time-_

The moment you heard the bell ring on the door you near enough jumped up from the couch.

_They're occupied with something-_

_Now's my chance_

You skipped out the pre-written note from your pocket and laid it neatly on top of Kuroos blazer in the couch.

Then, shakily turning the handle to the back door, you slowly allowed it to open and let a small piece of the outside world in.

_Go_

_I've got to go_

And you did-

You slipped out the back door- closing it behind you with more precision that you'd ever used in your life before bolting.

Sure you could probably walk and still get away- but it felt so much more urgent than that.

You needed to get away and get away fast before they get you back and don't give you another opportunity to leave.

The journey home- home.

_My actual home_

_Not Kenmas home_

_Not the spare room_

_My home_

_With my family and my things_

...

The journey home was soothing to say the least.

Everywhere was busy enough for you to not feel terrified but not busy enough to overwhelm you.

It was amazing.

It was even more amazing to finally approach your own home with a feeling of safety (no matter how small or forced).

You actually knocked on the door before realising that you didn't have to. The knock had already alerted your parent that someone was at the door so by the time you were in the hallway they'd noticed you.

"(Y/n)!"

"Hi" you smiled.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!" You were pulled into a hug.

"Yeah, sorry- after Yaku I guess I just got comfortable at Kenmas and didn't have enough motivation to come back or go anywhere really" you laughed.

"It's understandable, but I think its....it's time you come back now" they smiled, "any feelings about the Yaku situation we can help you with at home. Did you make sure to thank Mrs. Kozume ?"

"Not yet- my stuffs still over there so I'll thank her when I go get it all"

"Good idea- did you leave anything that you'll need for tonight?"

"No, we can go get it some other time" you reassured.

_I can only go back when they're with me-_

_If my mom or dad is there Kuroo and Kenma can't get me to stay_

_They have to listen to my parents-_

_And if they don't then their parents will_

They nodded understandingly, walking back to the kitchen and leaving you free to your own devices.


	55. Lies {55}

They'd both refrained from texting you which was a surprise.

You were still trying to figure out how to tackle the job issue- but you'd pretty much decided that you were going to quit.

_I can just text Kuroo_

_Or tell him at school maybe-_

_There will be plenty of people around_

_But I need to stop hanging around with them too-_

_But do Asui and Ochako even like me anymore?_

_What if they think I ditched them_ -

You walked out the door- fully prepared to see Kuroos car parked up.

While you hadn't fully concluded on what you would say to the boys on the car ride to school, you'd pretty much decided to stay as quiet as possible when around them. It's not like you could avoid it- they were already there and you knew your mom wouldn't let you walk alone to school.

You didn't say anything as you got into the car, neither did they.

Everything was going smoothly in silence; you tapped away at your phone for what seemed like hours before finally looking up to the windows.

"Where are we going?"

"School"

"This isn't the way to school" you argued with Kenma as Kuroo drove silently.

_Fuck_

_Fuck_

_My teacher was right-_

_I shouldn't be this scared around people I'm supposed to trust_

_Shit_

You decided that asking would just piss them off- and for whatever reason they already seemed angry. It made your heart pound.

_What are they gonna do_ -

So you had to sit there- helpless and unknowing, just taking each terrifying moment as it came. At one point you even considered jumping out the moving car- but the door was locked. Kuroo was going at a monstrous speed on the smaller roads anyway so it would've ended badly.

_Where the fuck are they taking me-_

_I can't call the cops_

_They haven't even done anything-_

_I'm the one with something to hide_

It wasn't long before you recognised the route and immediately understood where they where taking you.

Back to that horrible place with your most horrid memories.

Muttering a small "fuck" to yourself, you gripped tightly onto the seat and awaited your fate.

_I don't feel safe_

_I'm not safe_

_What do I do?_

_What can I do?!_

_Text my mom-_

_How could I even describe the situation-_

"Why are we here?" You held back tears while the car pulled up to the abandoned building. Your phone was visibly shaking out of your hand as the screen displayed your contacts.

_I need to_

_I need to-_

_Why aren't I letting myself-_

_Just call mom!_

_Just-_

With your thumb hovering above your parents number, Kuroo reached back and snatched it from you.

"H-hey, I need to call my mo-"

"Why'd you leave yesterday?" Kuroo snapped.

"...my mom wanted me to go home"

"Really? You sure you didn't just leave all by yourself?" He pressed, "because it seems lately you've been rather distant with us"

You gulped.

"My mom just wants me home again- I do live there"

"Well I want you to stay at Kenmas"

"...y-yeah but I have to listen to my mom, not you"

"Oh really?" He quipped, opening the car door and stepping out- Kenma mirroring his actions.

The boy took his time- making sure to let you know that he wasn't in a rush. He had all the time in the world.

Helplessly, you watched him step down to your car door and open it, leaving you exposed as you stared down to your lap.

"Get out"

"We need to get to school"

"Get the fuck out before I drag you out"

_Oh shit_

A tear rolled down your cheek slowly, slightly stilling as your shaky breath prepared you for what was about to come.

Kuroo waited for you to get out before following behind you while you trailed Kenma towards the building.

_It feels like I'm walking into my demise-_

_I can't_

_I can't go_

_I don't want to go back in there_

You stopped suddenly while being lead through the overgrown grass- and although you expected Kuroo to start pushing you around, it was Kenma you abruptly stopped to turn around and latch onto your arm to yank you along.

It wasn't a new revelation that he was stronger than he looked- it just seemed amplified in this moment; he was pulling you after him like a rag doll. The red mark on your forearm had already began to form as he bent his elbow and drew you even closer to him, causing a slight skip in your nervous step.

Then it was all like clockwork- walk up the steps, go through the door, along the small pathway, down the stairs, along the floor and into the empty pool. Not a word was said.

"What's your phone password?" The taller boy asked as the younger sat on the pool ladder.

"Why?"

"Just tell me"

"I don't want to-"

"Hey!" He yelled- causing even Kenma to jump a little.

Of course Kuroo was still young but Jesus Christ he was intimidating.

"Listen to me you fucking brat " he spat, stepping forward to tightly grip your face and tilt it upwards to face him, "if you don't do what I say then I'm going to have to force it out of you"

Kenma caught the slight glimmer of the tear running down your cheek as the boy stood over you like a walking embodiment of a nightmare.

"What's your password?"

You whispered the answer, staring at the floor and trying to mentally escape the situation.

"Good" he hummed, stepping back and unlocking your phone before messing around on it for a while.

"....why are we here?"

"You're coming back with me tonight" Kenma replied rather quickly to your nervous question.

"I can't-"

"You can and you will actually"

"My mo-"

"Even if your mom did want you back, which I don't believe for a second- I don't care. You're coming back home tonight and you'll stay there"

"You can't do this to me- you can't treat me this way! You can't control me like this!" You yelled.

You were scared and confused and didn't want to be around them any longer, so you turned around and just attempted to leave.

_Bad move_

_Stupid move_

As soon as you felt a hand on your shoulder you lashed out, landing an elbow into one of the boys ribs before violently shrugging him off and trying to run.

It was no surprise that he caught you again.

"Hey-" the dark haired boy spun you around, pushing you back so hard that you stumbled straight onto the floor before he dropped down to straddle you, "it you ever put your hands on me again I will beat the living fuck out of you"

His hands roughly pinned you to the floor by your throat as he sat back and watched you squirm in fear.

"-and after that I'll go straight to the cops and tell them everything"

Nervously shaking your head, you dared to speak out again.

"You'd be in just as much shit as I would be- both of you. You both helped" you mumbled through gritted teeth.

He laughed almost manically, tightening his grip and leaning down closer to your face.

"You think so? Because we weren't the ones holding a bloody knife over a dead body"

"You still took part in it and you'll still go to jail-"

"Are you an idiot? Don't you think we've already thought all of this through? We know plenty of people and have plenty of excuses (y/n)" he grinned, "plus we have evidence to back it up"

"'Knowing people' won't get you out of a murder charge-"

"Won't it?" He smiled, "did you forget about all those kids who get away with shit like this all the time because their parents are cops? Did you forget about all those people who can bribe the cops and intimidate them? They're corrupt (y/n)"

You shook your head in refusal.

"No...n-no they can't just turn a blind eye to this-" you sobbed.

He looked at you with some sort of pitiful sadism.

"They can, and they will"

"You're bluffing" you spat.

"Hm? Kenma-"

The smaller boy was hovering over you in no time, scrolling through his phone.

"What should we show?"

"Something small"

"Yeah-"

You were soon faced with the screen showing you, back on that night, snorting cocaine in the café upstairs.

_Fuck_

_Fuck_

_Fuck_

"You see- if you don't know what evidence you're lying against, the lie isn't really gonna work out, is it?" Kenma smiled.

_I don't want to deal with this_

_I can't deal with this_

_I can't be in this situation anymore_

_I can't be here anymore_

"......"

"Clean your face, we're going to school" Kuroo eventually got up from on top of you, dusting himself off and reaching his hand out to pull you to your feet, "We've got work tonight, then we're going back to Kenmas so I can tutor him"

_They're acting normal_

_It's not normal_

_It's not normal_

_It's not normal_

"Hurry, we're gonna be late"


	56. Violence {56}

You could feel yourself slipping back into that headspace of vacancy and haziness- you just didn't know how to pull yourself back out.

Last time it happened naturally- this time you wanted to stop it happening but didn't know how.

Glazed over eyes, slurred words, thumb sucking, touchy-ness and constant anxiety... Kenma could read the signs well. It's what made it so easy for him to keep you on a leash in school.

He kept you close- guiding you ever so slightly with his hand on the small of your back; it was barely a threatening act but it kept you under his thumb somehow.

He could see your brain working constantly;

_She's looks so out of it_

_She's probably trying to figure out what kind of evidence we have..._

He wasn't wrong either- you were trying so hard to think of any way out of this.

The fog wrapped around your brain made it incredibly difficult to think clearly and this was so obviously manifested to Kenma when he watched you struggle to string together simple sentences or even read a question in class.

Then during last lesson you pretty much snapped out of it- well, kind of. You still wore the same dim and disconnected expression but your body language was a lot more hostile.

_I don't think there's anything I can do to go back to normal..._

_I don't have any evidence on them- but they have evidence on me..._

_Even if I lied and told the police they did it and forced me to be quiet then I'd still be an accessory to murder-_

_Besides, their evidence could prove me wrong and it could all backfire_

_I think I'll just have to kill myself_

_I just have to stop_

_I think that's the only way..._

_Or run away-_

_Kuroos keeping all of our money in his room._

"(Y/n) c'mon the bell rang" Kenma nudged you.

_Running away would be such a huge step-_

_I'd have to leave my family_

_Leave everything_

_Start again all on my own_

_Hiding from everyone_

_I'd need to find a job_

_And a place to live_

_It would need some planning before I could actually pull it off...._

"(Y/n)!"

"What?!" You snapped back at Kenma, noticing the classroom was now empty as the teacher had picked up his laptop and left in a hurry.

He pulled an unimpressed face at your tone before replying.

"Come on"

You got up out of your seat, following him out of the class before walking towards the stairwell.

"Can I just walk to the shop and skip volleyball?"

Kenma wasn't too pleased with your planned avoidance however he also noted how frequently you'd began to ask for permission from himself and Kuroo. Obviously you weren't consciously doing it but that made it even better- your submissiveness was so deeply rooted into you that it just came naturally now.

"No"

You didn't even argue, just rolled your eyes and stormed off, not waiting for the boy.

"Oi!"

As he expected, you ignored him and sped up. Kenma jogged lightly after you, catching up quite soon and yanking you by your arm so you came to a stop.

"Get the fuck off of me! Don't fucking touch me-"

Your outburst shocked him to say the least, not to mention his surprise at you physically pushing him away from you. After the shock wore off however he began to get rather pissed off.

"Then stop being-"

"I don't give a shit" you simply spat out before carrying on speed walking away.

He followed yet again, instantly not liking this new dynamic and quickly texting Kuroo about the situation.

"Hey!" He yelled out.

You kept walking, carelessly swinging open the door in the near empty school and approaching the stairs.

"Will you stop for a second?!"

The boy could feel his anger slowly bubbling. He'd literally just warned you about how he could ruin your life, and you still had the nerve to treat him like this-?

"Oi!"

You ignored him yet again-

It seemed ignoring him was quite an easy way to piss off kenma- something you hadn't discovered before now.

He didn't ask for your attention often, but when he did he expected it to be given to him.

The moment his fingertips came into contact with your skin, you swung around, barely even realising what you'd done.

Kenma was in shock- he instinctively reached up to his stinging face as he grasped what had happened.

_She smacked me._..

His shock didn't end there though- after small bouts like this you'd usually go back to normal or show some regret but-

"I told you not to fucking touch me!"

Your hands gripped tightly onto his school sweater, pushing him back as he reached up to your arms.

It was all going a little too fast for Kenma until he found his bearings again and began to push back.

His face didn't mirror your angry rage-stricken one- he stayed more or less calm in composure yet unhinged behind his cat-like eyes.

You kept pushing him further and further and further back before tripping him on your foot and pinning him to the floor.

It all happened within seconds.

"If I tell you not to touch me then don't fucking touch me-"

"Get off-"

"Or what? You gonna push me off the roof too?" You seethed back, much to his surprise.

"Miss (l/n)-!"

The screech from the bottom of the stairs scared you both as an older teacher came jogging towards you both.

"What is going on?!"

He felt you freeze above him before scrambling to your feet.

"S-Sorry, we were messing around"

"...Kozume, are you ok?" She practically ignored your comment and rushed to the boy on the floor.

He looked to you before speaking, just to keep you scared. He could get you into a lot of trouble.

"Yeah...we were messing around and it got out of hand...sorry"

"Let's try to behave like adults while on the school premises from now on then, yes?" She snarled, watching you both nod. He was pretty surprised that she believed him- his red cheek and watery eyes were quite clear indicators that you weren't messing around.

"...." Kenma waited until she was gone before opening his mouth to speak, "resorting to violence is becoming a habit for you, isn't it?"

He hoped it cut deep.

"Need to protect myself, you never know how far my 'stalker' weaselled his way into my life" you scoffed back, hiding how much it wound you up.


	57. Kuroo {57}

You didn't speak to either of them for practice and you stayed in the back room during work- but when you got home Kuroo spoke loudly as you tried to follow Kenma out of the car.

"Not you" he simply stated.

Fuck.

"Sit up front"

You looked to Kenma who didn't look back to you as he walked away, then to Kuroo who stared dead ahead at the road as you switched seats.

_He's going to kill me_

_I think he's seriously going to kill me-_

_Should I run?_

_He'll catch up easily-_

_If I scream they'll rat me out anyway_

_At least this'll end it all_

You sat there- too scared to move and your head too scattered to think of a plan- with your hands laid nervously in your lap.

The car started up again, and he drove off calmly down the dark roads and towards the more secluded areas.

_I'm dead_

_I'm dead_

_He's going to murder me-_

_No no no- he can't,_

_He can't get away with it-_

_There's too much CCTV_

_But he said he knew people in the police force-_

_What if he can cover it up?_

He must've noticed your shaky breaths and looked over to see your tear stained cheeks that decorated your defeated face.

He didn't speak though.

You'd assumed he'd take you back to the swimming pool- until he took a sharp turn in the opposite direction.

You tried to focus on something else- anything else.

The cold. The freezing, biting cold air that chewed at your skin. It seemed to only get colder as you drove.

It'd been freezing for the past few days, you'd wake up and find the ground covered in frost but by midday it's usually been stamped off the floor by various people. However, the frost out here seemed to get heavier and heavier the further away from the suburbs you got.

The elegant, chiffon material that adorned your body didn't do much to protect your skin from the cold- it didn't do much to keep you safe from anything and you began to wonder if Kuroo and Kenma forced you into these dresses just to see you uncomfortable.

He kept driving until you no longer recognised your surroundings- you'd strayed well away from the suburban area you knew.

Not long after he pulled into a small lay-by and parked up.

It's so weird.

You should be screaming, shouting and running for your life-

Yet you sat next to him...patiently...

You were in a daze and quite frankly, too tired to care anymore

_I'm gonna die..._

_I'm gonna die and I don't know if I'm even scared..._

Your mind was in constant disarray to the point that knowing it would soon be over felt somewhat calming.

"Get out"

You did as he said as he quickly rummaged through the trunk, pulling out a baseball bat and a few other things you couldn't really make out.

A rough sigh escaped your mouth as you came to terms with everything.

_This is how it's gonna end, huh?_

_He picked quite a violent way._..

_Will my parents be able to afford a funeral?_

_What was the last thing I even said to them?_

"C'mon" he roughly pulled you along by your upper arm, leading you into the woods.

Kuroo led you quite far in- you couldn't see the car anymore and the cold breeze was blocked by the plethora of trees.

Your mind was empty.

"Put your arms out, like this" He demanded, roughly gesturing for you to put your forearms out straight in front of you.

You did as he said.

The thump of the baseball bat hitting the ground brought you back to reality and you realised that Kuroo was actually holding a stick. It somewhat resembled bamboo but wasn't quite as sturdy: you didn't have long to study it before he whipped the cane across your arms.

It stung like a bitch.

It stung even more when he whipped you again, and again, and again. Before landing another whip he'd slowly line up against the previous mark on your arm before pulling back and smashing it down onto you and watching the blood rise to the surface of your skin.

Each time you whimpered out at the raw sting- the sound of the stick cutting through the air was the only forewarning you had prior to the attack. The bitter cold- the freezing cold- only served to worsen the pain.

Slowly the tears started to seep from your eyes.

"I heard about what you said today...." he slowly spoke.

"...."

"You think what happened to Yaku wasn't an accident, Hm?"

"...."

"Strange....very strange- because, that's not what you said to the principal, and it's certainly not what you told the police" he grinned, slowly walking circles around you.

"....."

"Nothing to say?" He jabbed the stick at your back before tapping it lightly against your skin, "And your stalker? Would you like to elaborate?"

You stood in silence, holding back the sobs as the icy breeze bit into your sore arms. The boys sigh coalesced with the howling wind sprinting through the trees at full force as he threw the stick down onto a bed of branches before picking up the bat and grinning like a maniac. He merged into the darkness, appearing as more of a shadow than a person- more of an ominous being masquerading as a normal teenage boy.

"Well then...kneel down, on your knees" he lazily commanded, swinging the bat around haphazardly.

_Wait_

_It's actually gonna happen...._

_Your shaky knees hit the ground. The adrenaline kicked in._

_No_

_Wait_

_I don't know if I'm ok with this anymore_

You felt the bat carefully touching to your temple to aim before it was pulled back.

_Wait_

_No_

_No_

_I don't know anymore_

_I don't think I want to die_

_I want to die_

_Not like this_

_In my own way_

_Who's gonna find my body-_

_I don't want my parents to see my body all disfigured_

_I don't want to be disfigured-_

You looked up to see the shadowy figure swing his body with the bat. It began a fast descend down, towards you.

_No_

_I don't want it-_

_Run_

_Run_

_Run run_ runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun

You felt the burn in your thighs as you leapt away, scrambling to your feet and letting out a gluttural scream as you heard the bat smash into the tree that was behind you. Within milliseconds you'd completely flipped. It was just a bodily reaction- you simply refused to let him be the one to end it. Echoes of the bats impact ricocheted through the city of trees and the only thing you could compare it to was the crack of a biker being fired.

_Holy shit_

_That would've killed me-_

_He's trying to kill me_

The boy simply smiled, he knew you'd give chase atleast- and he knew he'd win.

"Hey! I'll give you a head start if you want?!" He manically screamed out, eyes wide with a small giggle following.

"1....2....3....4....5! Ready or not here I come!"

Within seconds he was chasing after you- he almost felt pity as he could see your legs clearly couldn't handle all the adrenaline.

You'd covered a short distance, but you very clearly couldn't remember which way you'd both came in....

Kuroo knew this place pretty well and he'd left the stick pointing in the direction of the car- so he knew that you were only running further into the wooded area.

_He's insane_

_He's fucking insane_

_He's unhinged_ -

You kept screaming, knowing that it wasn't likely that there was anyone in the woods but still hoping there would be.

Kuroo gleamed in pleasure- those screams you were letting out were blood curdling, almost horrifying infact. Not just a scream for help or direction- it scratched through your throat like barbed wire, cutting through your vocal cord and smashing into the atmosphere like a personification of everything sinister in the word. It was utterly unnerving....one of those things that just hits you the wrong way and speaks to your deepest fear ingrained into your brain.

You felt smash into your leg, well, kind of hook under you and trip you up. It meant you rolled over your ankle and lost your balance.

Kuroo used to bat to take out your legs, leaving you to trip forward into the frosty shrubbery. It was so cold, you felt frozen to the floor the moment you touched it.

You could feel him above you even when you were facing the ground.

_He's gonna bludgeon me-_

"C'mon, turn over" he spoke almost in a childish manner as his foot slowly nudged at your ribs.

Again- he relished in the sounds you made. The sobbing- oh god you sounded so desperate, so afraid and terrified. Completely vulnerable as you forced out the cries.

"C'mon" he continued to baby you, kneeling down and grabbing your waist to turn you over himself, "there we go, good girl....good girl" he soothed, softly stroking your face and wiping away the knees as he kneeled over your heaving chest.

"Please...p-please-" you choked out.

"Please what?" He smiled, "I thought you liked violence now?"

You shook your head vigorously, begging to sob violently again as you laid delirious and terrified.

"You don't?" He pouted, "are you sure?"

Roughly cupping your face he watched you nod with a pout of your own.

"But what about Komi? And Kenma-"

"I-I'm sorry, I-I just lost my temper-"

"Hmm" he nodded, "come on then, sit up"

He moved from on top of you to next to you then he pulled you up.

"Now, you're gonna apologise to Kenma for me, ok?"

All of a sudden a blinding light hit you in the face- when you looked up you saw Kuroo holding his phone infront of your face with a wicked smile.

"Go on then, say what you need to"

_I hate this_

_I hate this_

_I hate this_

_I hate this_

_I hate this_

_I hate this_

_I hate this_

_I hate this_

"I'm sorry" you sniffled lowly.

"Who are you sorry to? And what are you sorry for?" Kuroo snapped.

You looked up with pleading eyes, then remember that you were probably lucky to even be alive right now.

"I-I'm sorry Kenma...for hurting you..."

"Good" the light suddenly disappeared and the boy attempted to pull you to your feet, only causing you to yell out in pain.

It seemed all the adrenaline from before had meant you didn't even notice your injuries, but holy fuck your ankle hurt.

"C'mere" he pulled you close to him, leaning most of your weight onto himself so you could limp along with him further into the woods.


	58. One in the same {58}

Kenma wasn't really specifically informed about what had went on that night, he just noted the injuries on your skin and change in your demeanour again.

The day after Kuroo was extremely affectionate with you- it was like he was love bombing you. The younger had seen it so many times before- Kuroo would shower you with love and attention and then one day suddenly stop.

It was a very simple yet affective way of making sure you kept craving their attention- very manipulative admittedly but also very practical.

You seemed the just go with it, cosying up with them- you even slept with them again for the first time in a while.

Things seemed to be going good.

They were going good for you too- you were managing to keep your composure and gain their trust.

_Kuroo kept all the money-_

_Last week we should have made ¥33,555_

_Plus this week altogether we should have ¥67,110_

_At the end of the month there will be ¥134,220...._

_That's gonna be the minimum but if I can bare to stay a little longer and get more money I will..._

Every day was the same, go to school, go to work, come home and go along with whatever they wanted to do.

"Oi-"

This usually didn't happen though.

Friday night at volleyball practice- Kai jogged up to you as you went outside to get Kuroo and Kenma a drink from the vending machine.

He hadn't yet went into the gym, so they didn't yet know he was there. 

"Hi-"

He came to a steady stop in-front of you.

"We need to talk"

"Ok" you nodded, hiding your rising anxiety.

Oh god he knows something-

"Somewhere else. You're not busy right now, right?"

"Uh...I guess not..."

"Great-"

"Wait" you instinctively called out, "I... I'd have to tell Kuroo and Kenma and I always get a ride home with them and-"

"I'll take the bus back with you" he said, "just go tell them that a teacher is holding you back for some extra lessons"

_Lie to them..._

_He wants me to lie to them-_

_I know why I need to lie but why does he want me to ?_

_I should go..._

_When's the next time I'm going to be alone with someone like this?_

_Maybe he knows something and he wants to help-_

_What if he's worse than them-_

_What if he wants to hurt me too_

_Maybe he's in on it_

_Maybe he blames me_

_Maybe he thinks I'm an awful person and a whore and a disgusting person that hurts people-_

_Maybe he called the cops and they're waiting for me there_

"Gimme a second- I'll go tell them then I'll be right back" you agreed, despite all the thoughts exploding in your head.

_He wants me to lie..._

_What if they find out-_

_This doesn't feel right_

_Just tell them to truth-_

_If I tell them the truth they won't let me go_

_Then maybe I shouldn't go?_

_I need to go. I need to get help. I at least need to have someone to rely on_

Against every instinct in your body, and every silent scream in your head- you lied. You bare face lied to Kenma and Kuroo, told them that a teacher needed you after school and then left.

Kai stood awkwardly at the entrance of the school, waiting for you to reach him so he could lead you to god knows where.

You both walked in silence and honestly you wanted nothing more than to run away. Every bone in your body ached with the feeling of danger. You were scared, you felt threatened.

Why? This was probably the safest you'd been in weeks...yet...you felt so terrified.

It didn't take you long to realise that he was leading you to a close by McDonald's- a bigger and newer Take-out place had opened up next door to it so these days there weren't too many customers inside.

What the fuck does he want to talk about?

"You want some food?"

"Oh- no-"

"I'll get you a chicken burger" he insisted, stepping up to the counter and counting his change as you stood beside him awkwardly.

He definitely noticed your skittish behaviour- fiddling with the hem of your skirt, biting your nails, tapping every surface you could and routinely checking the windows and pacing in an awkwardly small circle.

"Why don't you go sit down?" He mumbled, much to your glee.

Toddling around the mostly empty McDonald's, you settled on the most secluded seats, right in the corner of the room and mostly out of sight of the windows.

_What does he want_

_I'm gonna get in so much trouble_

_He just wanted me-_

_He just warned me last week!_

_He's gonna kill me_

_He's gonna kill me_

_What if Kai tells him I'm here_

_What if it was a test_

"Hey...."

You only now realise your hand erratically shaking and tapping at the table top as the boy makes his way to the booth and slides you a drink and burger.

"You ok?"

"Y-yeah I'm good- listen, what did you want to talk about?"

He looks down momentarily before sighing.

"Kenma and Kuroo....you're all...very close right?"

"....I suppose...."

"I just can't help but notice a change in them since they've started hanging around with you" he nonchalantly stayed, unwrapping his burger.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just strange- they didn't know you and now your suddenly living with Kenma? I don't get it- no-one gets it..."

You furrowed you're brows, feeling accused of something you weren't quiet sure of.

"I've let it go- it didn't bother any of us at first. They started missing practice, they were snappy, Kenmas mind was always somewhere else- all those things I let go....but...."

"But...?"

"But non of you came to the funeral" he hissed, "you all just acted like he didn't exist- they didn't visit him in hospital because they were always busy with you while he was dying!"

"...wha- who's funeral?" You asked; a knee jerk reaction.

He gave you a completely bewildered look.

"No.....no?....no?" You simply whispered, understanding the revelation but simply not wanting to believe it.

Kai watched as the cogs began to turn in your mind.

He immediately knew something was wrong the moment your face dropped in confusion.

"Who's funeral?" You repeated.

"(Y/n)....Yaku....Yaku's funeral...." he answered.

.........

......

...

"He's...he's....- i-I've got to go, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here-" you sputtered, grabbing at the cheap chairs to roughly heave yourself out of the booth.

"No wait- you didn't know? How didn't you know-"

"I'm sorry I need to go-" you resorted to speed walking out of the store to avoid his deep questioning voice and sprinting down the busy street to avoid him catching up as you tried to wrap your head around the new revelation.

_How long has he been dead... ?_

_How didn't I know...._

_My minds fucked up-_

_I don't even know what's happening_

_I think I'm losing my mind_

_I'm losing it-_

_They all think I'm an awful person_

_They think I'm evil_

_They think I stopped Kuroo and Kenma from seeing Yaku_

_I didn't know he was dead_

_I didn't know he was real_

_I forgot_

_I forgot about an entire person_

_I forgot until he died_

_I can't even remember when I forgot him-_

_It's like one minute I knew him and then I just didn't_

_Like he just vanished_


End file.
